Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Ответ слишком длинный и содержит много пауз и повторов. Следует использовать более естественные и краткие выражения, избегать лишних слов и пауз, а также улучшить грамматику и структуру предложения.

例: I usually eat snacks when I go to the cinema or visit food courts because these places are relaxing and I can enjoy my snacks without being disturbed.

提案: Ответ содержит много грамматических ошибок и непонятных слов, что затрудняет понимание. Нужно использовать правильные слова и выражения, а также связные предложения с логическими связками.

例: On one hand, some snacks can be healthy because they contain vitamins and nutrients that benefit the body. On the other hand, eating only snacks is not good because they can replace proper meals.

提案: Ответ содержит ошибки в словах и структуре предложения. Следует использовать правильные слова и более четко выражать мысли, избегая лишних пауз и повторов.

例: Definitely yes. When I was a child, my father and mother allowed me to eat snacks, especially between meals.

提案: Ответ немного неполный и содержит паузы. Следует расширить ответ, добавить больше деталей и использовать связные предложения.

例: I like many snacks, but especially cereal bars because they are healthy and delicious. They contain a lot of protein and are easy to carry, so I can eat them anytime and anywhere.

× Generally I eat snack in cinema or maybe some food courts because, uh, I think it's really good place to be, eat snacks, some snacks because, uh, you can relax and never and nobody will, uh, conduct you. That's why.

✓ Generally I eat snacks in the cinema or maybe some food courts because, uh, I think it's a really good place to be, eat some snacks because, uh, you can relax and nobody will, uh, disturb you. That's why.

The word 'snack' should be plural 'snacks' because it refers to multiple items. 'Cinema' needs the definite article 'the' because it is a specific place. 'Good place' requires the article 'a' to be grammatically correct. 'Never and nobody will conduct you' is incorrect; 'conduct' is not the right verb here, and 'never' is unnecessary. The correct verb is 'disturb' or 'bother'. Suggestions: Use plural forms when referring to multiple items, use articles appropriately, and choose correct verbs for intended meaning.

× Generally I eat snack in cinema or maybe some food courts because, uh, I think it's really good place to be, eat snacks, some snacks because, uh, you can relax and never and nobody will, uh, conduct you. That's why.

✓ Generally I eat snacks in the cinema or maybe at some food courts because, uh, I think it's a really good place to be, eat some snacks because, uh, you can relax and nobody will, uh, disturb you. That's why.

The preposition 'in' is correct for 'cinema' but for 'food courts' the preposition 'at' is more appropriate to indicate location. Also, 'to be, eat snacks' is awkward; better phrased as 'to be and eat some snacks'. Suggestions: Use 'in' for enclosed spaces like 'cinema' and 'at' for places like 'food courts'. Ensure conjunctions connect ideas clearly.

× For another hand, you can eat only you can't eat only snacks because they can replace our genius.

✓ On the other hand, you can eat snacks, but you can't eat only snacks because they can replace our genes.

The phrase 'For another hand' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'On the other hand'. The modal verb 'can' is used correctly but the sentence structure is confusing. 'Replace our genius' is incorrect; likely meant 'replace our genes' or 'replace our nutrition'. Suggestions: Use correct idiomatic expressions and clarify meaning. Use modal verbs with clear sentence structure.

× Definitely yes. Uh, when I was a child's neck were my safer and my mom allowed me to eat them, for example when I had a snack between meals.

✓ Definitely yes. Uh, when I was a child, my father was my safer and my mom allowed me to eat them, for example when I had a snack between meals.

'Child's neck' is incorrect; should be 'child'. 'Safer' is likely a mispronunciation or misspelling of 'savior' or 'carer'. 'Them' refers to snacks, which is correct. The sentence has multiple errors including word choice and structure. Suggestions: Use correct singular nouns and correct word choice. Clarify meaning and structure sentences properly.

× Definitely yes. Uh, when I was a child's neck were my safer and my mom allowed me to eat them, for example when I had a snack between meals.

✓ Definitely yes. Uh, when I was a child, my father was my protector and my mom allowed me to eat them, for example when I had a snack between meals.

The pronoun 'my safer' is incorrect; likely intended 'my protector' or 'my guardian'. 'Child's neck' is incorrect and should be 'child'. Suggestions: Use correct pronouns and nouns to convey intended meaning clearly.

× I love many snacks but especially umm cereals bars because it's healthy and delicious. They contain a lot of protein and are available in. In any weather.

✓ I love many snacks but especially cereal bars because they're healthy and delicious. They contain a lot of protein and are available in any weather.

'Cereals bars' should be 'cereal bars' as 'cereal' is an adjective here. 'It's' should be 'they're' to agree with plural 'bars'. The phrase 'available in. In any weather.' has an unnecessary period. Suggestions: Use correct adjective forms and ensure subject-verb agreement. Avoid unnecessary punctuation.