Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct small grammar issues. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using a linking word. Also correct article use ('a sandwich') and avoid repeating ideas.

例: I usually have a snack at about 3:00 PM because my working day is long. For example, I often eat a sandwich or some fruit to tide me over until dinner.

提案: Fix word choice and pronunciation errors in phrasing (e.g., 'raise' not 'rice') and keep the answer natural: state opinion, give a brief reason, then offer an alternative using a linking word like 'so' or 'therefore'.

例: I don't think sugary snacks like cookies are healthy because they raise blood sugar quickly and cause energy crashes. Therefore, I prefer unsalted nuts or fresh fruit which provide more sustained energy.

提案: Clarify meaning and correct confusing vocabulary and grammar (e.g., 'pairs', 'trees' likely incorrect). Use a clear topic sentence about past habit, then add a concise explanation with specific details and linking words. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I often had snacks in elementary school. At first I didn't, but after I saw other children bringing snacks, I asked my mother to buy some for me, so I started having an afternoon treat every day.

提案: Make the answer more focused and natural: state preference, give a brief reason, then mention current habit using a linking word like 'but' or 'now'. Avoid unnecessary future phrasing ('in my 40s')—say 'for my health'.

例: I enjoy cookies because I have a sweet tooth, but I used to eat them every day. Now, however, I limit sugary snacks to protect my long-term health, so I choose fruit or dark chocolate instead.

× Then I often eat cookies or sandwich to keep me going until dinner.

✓ Then I often eat cookies or a sandwich to keep me going until dinner.

Use of countable noun 'sandwich' requires an article (a) when singular; this is not an -ing error but matches list items focusing on verb+noun forms. Suggest adding 'a' before 'sandwich' or making it plural ('sandwiches').

× I actually don't think eating sugary snacks such as cookies is healthy because they rice blood sugar very quickly and can cause an energy crash.

✓ I actually don't think eating sugary snacks such as cookies is healthy because they raise blood sugar very quickly and can cause an energy crash.

The verb 'rise' is incorrect in transitive use here; the correct verb is 'raise' when something causes blood sugar to increase. Use present tense 'raise' to match general truth. Also 'they raise' agrees with plural subject 'snacks'.

× I would prefer healthier options like unsalted nuts which provide more nutrition.

✓ I would prefer healthier options like unsalted nuts, which provide more nutrition.

A comma before the nonrestrictive relative clause 'which provide more nutrition' is needed. Pronoun 'which' is correct but punctuation clarifies meaning. Also 'provide more nutrition' could be 'are more nutritious' for natural phrasing.

× When I was in elementary school, I didn't have that at first, but after I saw the other pairs had trees, I asked my mom to buy me one and that's the reason why I had a snack every afternoon.

✓ When I was in elementary school, I didn't have that at first, but after I saw the other kids had treats, I asked my mom to buy me one, and that's the reason why I had a snack every afternoon.

Several errors: 'pairs' is incorrect for 'kids/peers'; 'trees' is likely a typo for 'treats.' Use past simple consistently ('saw', 'asked', 'had'). Also add comma before 'and' joining independent clauses. Ensure word choice is appropriate.

× I used to eat sugary snacks every day, but in my 20s I realized that too much sugar is unhealthy.

✓ I used to eat sugary snacks every day, but in my 20s I realized that too much sugar was unhealthy.

When narrating past habits and realizations, keep tense consistent: 'used to' and 'realized' are past, so the complementary clause can use past 'was' to match. Using present 'is' can be acceptable for general truths, but to maintain narrative past, 'was' is clearer.

× So I try to limit them now in order to get a healthy body in my 40s.

✓ So I try to limit them now in order to have a healthy body in my 40s.

Phrase 'get a healthy body' is awkward; use 'have a healthy body.' Also 'them' correctly refers to 'sugary snacks.' Maintain present tense 'try' for current habit.

× I usually have a snack in the afternoon around 3:00 PM because my working hours are long and I get quite hungry.

✓ I usually have a snack in the afternoon around 3:00 PM because my working hours are long and I get quite hungry.

Sentence is correct; no singular/plural change needed. Included to confirm no correction required.

× Then I often eat cookies or sandwich to keep me going until dinner.

✓ Then I often eat cookies or a sandwich to keep me going until dinner.

Reiterated correction: singular 'sandwich' requires 'a'. Not a third-person verb issue but best classification is article/number; added article for grammaticality.