Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cevap daha doğrudan ve düzenli olmalı. İlk cümlede net bir zaman ifadesi kullanın (ör. 'I usually...'). Gereksiz tekrarları ve dolgu sözcüklerini (umm, like) azaltın. Ardından 1–2 destekleyici detay ekleyin (neden o zamanlar, ne tür atıştırmalıklar). Cümle sayısını 3–4 ile sınırlayın ve bağlantı için 'so' veya 'because' gibi bağlaçlar kullanın.

例: I usually have snacks in the afternoon after lunch or sometimes around midnight. I often choose sweet foods because I get a craving for sugar. For example, I might buy chocolate or cookies when I feel hungry between meals.

提案: Cevap açık bir görüşle başlamalı (evet/hayır ve kısa gerekçe). Ardından somut örnekler verin ve neden sağlıksız olduğunu açıklayın. 'They are not healthy for anybody' gibi genellemeler yerine kişisel etkiyi ve sonuçları (ör. kilo alma, enerji düşüşü) belirtin. Konuşmada tekrar ve dolgu sözcüklerini azaltın.

例: I don't think most snacks are healthy. Sometimes I eat protein bars at school, which are slightly healthier because they have more protein. However, I usually eat chocolate and chips, which are high in sugar and fat, so they can make me gain weight and feel sluggish.

提案: Cevap net bir zaman çerçevesiyle başlamalı; geçmişten konuşuluyorsa 'when I was young' ifadesini doğru kullanın. Kısa ve düzenli cümlelerle sıklığı ve alışkanlıkları açıklayın. Neden böyle davrandığınızı (ör. self-control, temptation) ve bir örnek verin. Tekrarlayan ifadeler ve karışık zaman kullanımlarından kaçının.

例: When I was younger I did snack a lot every day. I often couldn't resist sweets, so if I saw snacks I would eat them quickly. Now I try to limit myself and save snacks for a single day.

提案: Cevap doğrudan 'I like...' ile başlamalı ve birkaç belirgin örnek vermeli. Sağlıklı ve sağlıksız tercihleri karşılaştırın ve tercih nedeninizi açıklayın. Gereksiz tekrarları ve dolgu sözcüklerini (like, maybe) azaltın. Cümleleri 2–3 ile sınırlayın ve bağlaçlarla akış sağlayın.

例: I mainly enjoy chocolate and chips because they taste good, but I also like healthier options such as bananas, carrots, or a sandwich. At school I usually choose a protein bar because it's convenient and more filling.

× Umm, like a midnight or like afternoon after I had my lunch.

✓ Umm, like at midnight or in the afternoon after I have my lunch.

The original sentence uses incorrect or missing prepositions for time expressions and wrong tense. Use 'at' for 'midnight' and 'in' for 'the afternoon'. Use present simple or present perfect context 'after I have my lunch' to express habitual timing. Improve by learning common time prepositions: at, in, on.

× Umm, I wanna eat something with a lot of sugar and I bought some.

✓ Umm, I want to eat something with a lot of sugar, so I buy some.

Mixes informal contraction 'wanna' and past tense 'bought' incorrectly when describing habitual desire. For habits use present simple 'I want' and 'I buy'. Avoid 'wanna' in formal contexts. Use coordinating conjunctions for reasons ('so').

× I'll buy some like snacks like chocolate.

✓ I buy snacks like chocolate.

Using 'I'll buy' (future) is inconsistent with describing usual behaviour. Use present simple 'I buy' to describe habitual actions. Also remove redundant 'like'.

× No, it's not. But sometimes I eat protein bar at school.

✓ No, it's not. But sometimes I eat a protein bar at school.

Missing article 'a' before singular countable noun 'protein bar'. English requires 'a' for singular countable nouns. Also maintain consistency in number.

× Maybe it's a little bit healthy, but normally I eat like chocolate biscuits, chips, like these umm snacks and they're not healthy for me.

✓ Maybe it's a little bit healthy, but normally I eat chocolate biscuits, chips and other snacks, and they aren't healthy for me.

Use plural 'snacks' consistently and avoid filler 'like'. Use 'they aren't' contraction for plural. 'Other snacks' is clearer than 'these umm snacks'.

× They're not healthy for anybody.

✓ They're not healthy for anyone.

'Anybody' is acceptable but 'anyone' is more natural here. Also keep present tense. Use 'anyone' for negative statements.

× Like because of it I take away.

✓ Because of them, I gain weight.

Original is unclear and ungrammatical. 'Take away' is wrong collocation. Likely intent is weight gain resulting from unhealthy snacks. Use 'Because of them' (plural) and correct verb phrase 'gain weight'.

× Actually I'm still young and I yes I eat a lot of snacks at a day but I try to like last it for a day but like I always eat a lot of snacks when I saw it.

✓ Actually I'm still young and yes, I eat a lot of snacks in a day, but I try to make them last for a day. I always eat a lot of snacks when I see them.

Multiple errors: use 'in a day' for frequency, 'make them last' is correct collocation, 'saw' (past) should be 'see' present when describing habitual action, and pronoun agreement 'them' for snacks. Also remove fillers.

× I like take it and finish it a little time.

✓ I take them and finish them quickly.

Use plural pronouns 'them' to match 'snacks'. 'A little time' is vague; 'quickly' or 'in a short time' is clearer. Use correct verb forms without 'like' filler.

× Like I really like to eat like chocolate brisket or chips like I love it or not.

✓ I really like to eat chocolate bars or chips; I love them.

'Brisket' is incorrect word choice (meat cut); likely intended 'bars'. Remove excessive 'like'. Use plural 'them' to refer to snacks. Keep concise.

× Maybe like maybe some fruits like banana or like sandwich will like carrot.

✓ Maybe some fruit like bananas, or a sandwich with carrot.

Use 'fruit' as uncountable or plural 'bananas'. 'Sandwich with carrot' is clearer than awkward phrasing. Remove filler 'like' and ensure number agreement.

× I love it. But usually I eat protein bar at school.

✓ I love them. But usually I eat a protein bar at school.

Use plural pronoun 'them' to match 'bananas/chips' or 'bars'. Again include article 'a' before 'protein bar' for a singular countable noun.