Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence saying when you usually snack, then give one or two specific reasons or examples. Avoid hesitation sounds and repetition. Use linking words like "because" or "so" to connect ideas. Keep it within 2–4 sentences.

例: I usually eat snacks in the late afternoon, around 4 or 5 pm, because I often feel hungry between lunch and dinner. For example, I’ll have a piece of fruit or a small cookie to give me energy until dinner.

提案: Answer directly and explain briefly with a clear reason and a specific example. Use correct expressions such as "healthy" and "unhealthy" and avoid filler words. Structure: short topic sentence + reason + example. Use linking word "because" or "for example" properly.

例: No, I don’t think snacking is healthy if the snacks are sugary. For example, eating chocolate or candy regularly can increase sugar intake and cause weight gain, so I try to avoid them.

提案: Give a clear past-time statement, then add a specific habit or situation that caused you to snack. Use past tense consistently and provide one concrete example. Replace vague phrases like "meet a heaps" with clear descriptions. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I often ate snacks when I was a child. For example, I would eat chocolate or biscuits after school or when I felt upset because sweets comforted me.

提案: Answer clearly by naming the snacks you like, then add a short reason or a specific detail. Use correct nouns (cookies, milk tea) and avoid unclear phrases. Keep it to 2–3 sentences and use a linking word such as "because" or "for example."

例: I usually like chocolate, cookies, and milk tea. For example, I enjoy a chocolate bar when I need a quick treat, and I often buy milk tea with a cookie as an afternoon snack.

× Yes, I prefer to eat snacky.

✓ Yes, I prefer to eat snacks.

The student used 'snacky', which is not a correct adjective here; the noun plural 'snacks' is appropriate to express preference. Use the plural form for general habits (singular/plural issue and adjective misuse). Suggestion: say 'I prefer to eat snacks' or 'I prefer snacking'.

× You know uh, snacking always is sweet.

✓ You know, snacking is always sweet.

Word order is incorrect; adverb 'always' should come before the main verb or after 'be' correctly placed as 'is always'. Also remove filler 'uh' for clarity. Suggestion: place adverbs in standard positions: 'snacking is always sweet' or 'I always snack on sweet things'.

× Uh, uh, you know, sweet snack can make make people feel happiness.

✓ Sweet snacks can make people feel happy.

Use plural 'snacks' for general statements and choose adjective/adverb 'happy' rather than the noun 'happiness' after 'feel'. Also avoid doubling words 'make make'. Suggestion: use 'make people feel happy' or 'cause happiness'.

× Umm, it can.

✓ Yes, it can.

The response 'it can' is acceptable but incomplete; adding 'yes' makes it clearer. No tense change needed; this corrects pragmatic clarity.

× No, definitely no.

✓ No, definitely not.

Use 'not' after an auxiliary or 'definitely not' as a negative response; 'no' repeated is informal and ungrammatical in this context. Suggestion: say 'No, definitely not.'

× I think it it not health, umm, uh, for example, chocolate it it include very, very uh, piece of unhealthy things, uh.

✓ I think it is not healthy. For example, chocolate includes many unhealthy things.

Multiple issues: missing verb 'is' and wrong form 'health' should be adjective 'healthy'; unnecessary repeated words 'it it'; 'include' should agree with singular subject 'chocolate' as 'includes'; 'piece of' is wrong collocation—use 'many unhealthy things' or 'a lot of unhealthy ingredients'. Suggestion: 'I think it is not healthy. For example, chocolate contains many unhealthy ingredients.'

× Yes, when I was a child I often I always to eat snack.

✓ Yes, when I was a child I often/always ate snacks.

Infinitive 'to eat' is incorrect after adverbs of frequency; use past tense 'ate' for past habits. Choose one frequency adverb: 'often' or 'always'. Use plural 'snacks'. Suggestion: 'I often ate snacks when I was a child.'

× Uh, if I meet a heaps I'll eat some chocolate or if I meet a bad thing I feel.

✓ If I find a lot of snacks, I'll eat some chocolate, or if something bad happens I feel upset.

'Meet a heaps' is incorrect collocation; use 'find a lot of' or 'have a lot of'. Tense mix: 'I'll' is future but context about habit can use present or conditional; keep 'I'll eat' for immediate reaction. 'Meet a bad thing I feel' is unclear—likely means 'if something bad happens, I feel [sad/upset]'. Suggestion: be specific about emotions: 'I feel sad' or 'I feel upset'.

× I think I have I, I haven't proved to a type of Nick I I usually to eat chocolate or cookie or milk tea.

✓ I think I haven't decided on a type. I usually eat chocolate, cookies, or drink milk tea.

The original is fragmented and uses incorrect structures: 'haven't proved to a type of Nick' is unintelligible—interpreted as 'haven't decided on a type'. Use present simple 'usually eat' for habits and plural 'cookies'. 'Milk tea' is a drink, so use 'drink milk tea'. Suggestion: keep sentences concise and use standard collocations: 'decided on a type', 'eat cookies', 'drink milk tea'.

× Uh. Any anyway I I like to eat some.

✓ Anyway, I like to eat them sometimes.

Fragment 'I like to eat some' is vague; use clearer object 'them' referring to snacks and optionally add frequency 'sometimes'. Remove filler words 'uh' and duplicated 'I'. Suggestion: 'Anyway, I like to eat them sometimes.'