Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cevap doğrudan ve anlaşılır ancak zaman uyumsuzlukları ve doldurma kelimeleri (uh, umm) var. Ayrıca cümleler daha kısa ve net olmalı; geçmiş ve şimdiki zaman kullanımlarında tutarlılık sağlanmalı. Bağlaçlarla mantıklı bir akış kurup bir örnek veya kısa açıklama ekleyin (ör. hangi öğünlerden sonra atıştırıyorsunuz).

例: I usually eat snacks in the afternoon now. I changed from night to afternoon because it helps me avoid overeating late at night. For example, I often have a piece of fruit after lunch to keep my energy up.

提案: İyi fikir ayrımı yapmışsınız fakat tekrarlar ve doldurma kelimeleri ile anlatım zayıflıyor. Daha spesifik örnekler ve kısa nedenler verin (ör. besin değeri, şeker miktarı) ve gereksiz tekrarları çıkarın.

例: It depends on the type of snack. For instance, chocolate is high in sugar so eating it often is unhealthy. On the other hand, fruits provide vitamins and fiber, so they are a healthier choice.

提案: Cevap açık ama daha organize olabilir. Gereksiz tekrarlar ve dolgu sözlerinden kaçının. Ayrıca bir bağlaç kullanarak zaman dilimini ve bir sonuç veya kısa açıklama ekleyin (ör. bunun sağlığınıza etkisi).

例: Yes, I often ate snacks when I was young. I would start in the morning and snack throughout the day, mostly on chocolates and crisps because they tasted good. As a result, I sometimes felt tired or had stomachaches.

提案: Cevap kişisel ve bilgilendirici fakat zaman uyumsuzluğu ve dolgu kelimeleri mevcut. Şimdiki zamana uygun ifadeler kullanın ve neden tercih ettiğinizi kısaça belirtin. Tek cümlede favorinizi söyleyip sonra nedenini ekleyin.

例: I used to prefer chocolate, but now I prefer fruits and nuts. My favorite snacks are bananas and hazelnuts because they are nutritious and keep me full longer.

× I used to eat snacks at night but when I grow up I started eating them in the afternoon.

✓ I used to eat snacks at night, but when I grew up I started eating them in the afternoon.

The sentence mixes past habitual 'used to' with 'grow up' (present) and 'started' (past). Use the past form 'grew up' to match the past time frame. Improve consistency by keeping past tense for events that already happened. Suggestion: Maintain consistent past tense for related actions (e.g., 'used to', 'grew up', 'started').

× I think it helps me uh, eat a few calories and avoid late night overeating.

✓ I think it helps me eat fewer calories and avoid late-night overeating.

Two issues: 'a few calories' is unnatural here; 'fewer' should be used with countable items (calories) and 'fewer calories' is correct. Also 'late night' as a compound adjective before a noun should be hyphenated: 'late-night'. Suggest using 'fewer calories' and hyphenating 'late-night'.

× I think it depends on the snacks I eat.

✓ I think it depends on the snacks I eat.

No grammatical correction needed; sentence is grammatically correct and matches present tense. Keep as is.

× For example, uh, sometimes I eat chocolates too much and I think it's not healthy, but umm, eating fruit is healthy.

✓ For example, sometimes I eat too much chocolate and I think it's not healthy, but eating fruit is healthy.

'Chocolates' is a count noun when referring to individual chocolate bars, but here 'too much' requires an uncountable noun: use 'chocolate'. Also place 'too much' before 'chocolate'. Remove filler words for clarity. Suggestion: Use 'too much chocolate' for excessive consumption.

× When I was young, I used to eat snacks a lot.

✓ When I was young, I used to eat a lot of snacks.

Word order: place the quantifier phrase 'a lot of' before the noun 'snacks' for natural word order in English. Suggestion: Use 'used to' for past habitual actions and natural modifier placement 'a lot of snacks'.

× I would start in the morning and keep, uh, eating during the day, mostly on chocolates and crisps because they were tasty.

✓ I would start in the morning and keep eating during the day, mostly on chocolate and crisps because they were tasty.

Remove filler and comma. Use 'chocolate' (uncountable) when referring to the type; 'crisps' (plural) is fine. 'Mostly on' is acceptable in conversational English but can be 'mostly eating chocolate and crisps'. Suggestion: Use 'chocolate' when speaking about the substance in general.

× When I was young, I like to eat a chocolate the most.

✓ When I was young, I liked to eat chocolate the most.

Tense inconsistency: 'When I was young' sets a past context, so use past 'liked' not present 'like'. Also use 'chocolate' without the article for general preference rather than 'a chocolate'. Suggestion: Keep past tense for preferences in the past and use uncountable 'chocolate' for general references.

× However, when I grow up I started to eat umm, fruits and nuts.

✓ However, when I grew up I started to eat fruits and nuts.

Mixes present 'grow up' with past 'started'. Use past 'grew up' to match 'started'. Also 'fruits' is acceptable but 'fruit' as an uncountable noun is more natural in this context. Suggestion: Use 'grew up' and consider 'fruit and nuts'.

× My favorite uh, is uh, bananas and hazelnuts.

✓ My favourites are bananas and hazelnuts.

Subject-verb agreement and phrasing: listing two items requires plural 'favourites' (or 'favorite things') and plural verb 'are'. Avoid filler 'uh'. If keeping singular 'My favorite is', then list a single item. Suggestion: Say 'My favourites are bananas and hazelnuts' or 'My favourite foods are bananas and hazelnuts.'