Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer and more natural: start with a direct topic sentence stating when you snack, then give 1–2 specific reasons and one example. Use correct vocabulary (snack, not snake) and correct grammar (e.g. 'it keeps me entertained' → 'they keep me from feeling bored'). Keep to 3–4 sentences and use linking words such as 'because' or 'so'.

例: I usually snack a few times throughout the day, especially mid-morning and mid-afternoon. I snack because it helps me stay focused and prevents me from getting too hungry before meals. For example, I often have a handful of mixed nuts or an apple because they are convenient and healthy.

提案: Give a direct opinion first, then support it with clear reasons and examples. Reduce hesitations and filler words (um, uh). Use accurate vocabulary (e.g. 'contain a lot of oil and salt' rather than unclear phrases). Limit to 3–4 sentences and use linking words like 'however' or 'because'.

例: I think snacking can be healthy or unhealthy depending on the choice. For example, potato chips are unhealthy because they contain a lot of oil and salt, which are bad for long-term health. However, fruit or yogurt are good snack options because they provide vitamins and protein.

提案: Answer directly and concisely: state the past habit, then contrast with current behavior using linking words like 'but' or 'now'. Use correct tense and reduce repetition. Provide one specific change and a reason.

例: Yes, I often ate snacks like potato chips when I was young because I liked the taste. But as I grew older I realized they are unhealthy, so now I eat them less often and choose fruit instead because it is better for my health.

提案: Be specific about favorite snacks and explain why you like them. Use correct words (chips, not cheap), correct phrases ('I try to eat a little each day') and give one or two clear reasons using linking words like 'because' or 'so'. Keep the answer within 3–4 sentences.

例: I like to snack on a small portion of potato chips occasionally, but I never finish the whole bag in one day. I prefer snacking on fruit like bananas or oranges because they give me vitamins and keep me energized throughout the day.

× I usually have snake throughout the day because I find it really keep me entertained and I'm feeling bored.

✓ I usually have snacks throughout the day because I find they keep me entertained when I'm bored.

Original sentence uses 'snake' instead of 'snack' and has structure problems. 'Keep' must agree with plural subject 'they', so use 'they keep me entertained'. Also replace 'and I'm feeling bored' with 'when I'm bored' for correct adverbial clause and natural phrasing. Suggestion: use the correct noun 'snacks' and ensure subject-verb agreement and clear clause connectors.

× I just some.

✓ I just eat a few.

This fragment lacks a verb and object. 'I just some' is incomplete. Use a verb like 'eat' and a quantifier 'a few' to form a complete sentence: 'I just eat a few.' Ensure every sentence has a subject and a verb.

× I'm trying to have more healthy snacks so that not different variety of nuts or even fruit.

✓ I'm trying to have healthier snacks, such as different varieties of nuts or even fruit.

Original uses incorrect structure 'so that not different variety'. Use comparative adjective 'healthier' and phrase 'such as' to give examples. Use plural 'varieties' for count noun 'variety' in this context. Suggestion: choose correct comparative/adjective forms and linking phrases for examples.

× It can consider it a snake as well so kidney healthy but.

✓ You can consider them snacks as well because they are quite healthy.

Original is ungrammatical and uses wrong words: 'kidney healthy' and 'snake'. Replace 'snake' with 'snack', correct pronoun to 'them' referring to items, and use 'because they are quite healthy' to give a clear reason. Ensure subject and verb agreement.

× Well, it depends on what kind of snack you're having.

✓ Well, it depends on what kind of snack you are having.

Contraction 'you're' is acceptable in speech, but for clarity in test responses 'you are' is preferred; no grammatical error otherwise. This suggestion is stylistic: avoid contractions for formal answers.

× I used to have, uh, lots of, umm, potato chips, which is contain lots of oils and umm, not new tears, uh, ingredients that are oil, umm, flour, which are not really good for your health.

✓ I used to eat a lot of potato chips, which contain a lot of oil and ingredients like flour that are not good for your health.

Errors: 'have' is acceptable but 'eat' is more natural for food; 'lots of, umm' should be 'a lot of'; 'which is contain' should be 'which contain' (subject-verb agreement); 'oils' -> 'oil'; 'not new tears' is nonsensical and removed; streamline to 'ingredients like flour'. Suggestion: remove fillers, ensure subject-verb agreement and use count/uncount nouns correctly.

× I'm trying to have more fruit.

✓ I'm trying to eat more fruit.

Use verb 'eat' rather than 'have' to clearly indicate consuming food. Tense is fine (present continuous for current efforts). Suggestion: choose precise verbs for clarity.

× I used to have lots of potato chips when I was young because they were really tasty and delicious to me when I was young.

✓ I used to eat a lot of potato chips when I was young because they tasted delicious to me.

Avoid repetition 'when I was young' twice. Use 'ate' or 'tasted' for past simple: 'they tasted delicious' is natural. 'Lots of' -> 'a lot of'. Suggestion: avoid repetition and use past tense consistently.

× But when as I get older I understand it's not actually healthy that I used to think it it was.

✓ But as I got older I realized it wasn't as healthy as I had thought.

Tense consistency required: 'as I got older' (past), 'realized' (past), and past perfect 'had thought' for the earlier belief. Remove duplicate 'it it'. Structure 'not actually healthy that I used to think it it was' is incorrect; use 'wasn't as healthy as I had thought.'

× So I try to have lesser chips and eat more fruit.

✓ So I try to eat fewer chips and eat more fruit.

Use 'fewer' with countable nouns like 'chips' (not 'lesser'), and use verb 'eat' for clarity. Present tense 'try' is fine for habitual action. Suggestion: use correct quantifier for countable nouns.

× Occasionally I will have cheap as a snack, but I won't I won't finish the whole bag on the same day.

✓ Occasionally I will have chips as a snack, but I won't finish the whole bag in one day.

'Cheap' is wrong word; should be 'chips'. Remove duplicate 'I won't'. Use 'in one day' or 'on the same day' for time expression; 'in one day' is more natural. Suggestion: check spelling and avoid repetition.

× I will try to eat little little every day, but I also trying to eat more fruit because I healthy give me more vitamin and prices and keep me cold throughout the day.

✓ I will try to eat a little every day, and I'm also trying to eat more fruit because it is healthy, gives me more vitamins and keeps me full throughout the day.

Multiple issues: 'little little' -> 'a little'; missing auxiliary 'I'm' before 'also trying'; 'I healthy give me' ungrammatical — change to 'it is healthy' and verb 'gives'; 'vitamin' -> plural 'vitamins'; 'prices' incorrect word, likely 'minerals' or 'nutrients' but context suggests 'vitamins' and 'keeps me full' not 'keep me cold'. Use 'keeps me full' to convey satiety. Ensure subject-verb agreement and correct vocabulary.