Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence saying when you snack, avoid hesitations and irrelevant phrases. Use 2–4 supporting details with linking words (for example, reasons or typical situations) and correct vocabulary (snack, not snake).

例: I usually eat snacks in the late afternoon before dinner. For example, I often have a piece of fruit or a small sandwich because I get hungry after school and it keeps me going until dinner.

提案: Give a clear opinion first, then explain with specific reasons and correct vocabulary. Use linking words such as 'because' and 'however' to connect ideas. Mention examples of unhealthy snacks and any healthier alternatives, and avoid repeated pronunciation errors (snake → snack).

例: I don't think most snacks I eat are healthy because they are usually high in sugar and fat. However, I snack out of boredom or stress, so I try to choose healthier options such as nuts or yogurt when possible.

提案: This answer is clear and relevant. To improve, reduce repetition, add a linking word and one more specific detail (how often or a favorite memory). Keep it within 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I often snacked when I was young, especially on sunflower seeds and chocolate. I usually had them after school because they were quick and tasty, and I often shared them with my friends during break time.

提案: Start with a direct topic sentence naming your favorite snack, then give specific context or reasons using linking words like 'because' and 'for example.' Correct grammar (plural/singular) and avoid hesitations. Mention when you usually eat that snack or why it's enjoyable.

例: My favorite snack is sunflower seeds because they taste savory and are fun to eat. For example, I like eating them while watching movies or chatting with friends because they are small and easy to share.

× I think my mom is there yeah uh, yes, yes I do.

✓ I think my mom is there, yes, I do.

The sentence has redundant fillers and unclear pronoun reference; 'there' is vague here. Remove extra interjections and keep 'there' only if context supports it. Use comma to separate clauses. Suggestion: remove filler words and clarify what 'there' refers to (e.g., 'at home').

× I usually eat snacks, especially, uh uh, before, uh, feeding.

✓ I usually eat snacks, especially before meals.

'Feeding' is incorrect in this context; 'meals' is the proper noun. Excessive pauses and commas break sentence flow. Use 'before meals' to express the intended meaning. Suggestion: avoid fillers and use the noun 'meals'.

× And then actually to be honest, that my, I have a I have a snake that.

✓ To be honest, I have a snack habit.

Original is fragmented and contains repetition and wrong word 'snake' for 'snack'. Rephrase to a clear complete sentence. Use 'snack habit' or 'a habit of snacking' to convey meaning. Suggestion: eliminate repetition and correct the lexical error 'snake' -> 'snack'.

× I don't think any snakes is healthy for me because most of snakes I ate are high and shower and fat.

✓ I don't think any snacks are healthy for me because most of the snacks I eat are high in sugar and fat.

Multiple errors: 'snakes' should be 'snacks' (word choice), subject-verb agreement 'any snacks are' (plural), 'most of snacks I ate' needs determiners and present tense 'I eat', and 'high and shower' seems to be 'high in sugar'. Use 'high in sugar and fat'. Suggestion: correct vocabulary, match noun number with verb, and use 'high in' + substance.

× Although I tend to snake when I'm bored and stressed which means it's more of an emotional habit than healthy shoes.

✓ Although I tend to snack when I'm bored and stressed, which means it's more of an emotional habit than a healthy one.

Wrong word 'snake' should be 'snack' as a verb; need a comma before 'which' and 'healthy shoes' is wrong — use 'a healthy one' to refer back to 'habit'. Use gerund 'snack' for the verb and correct noun phrase. Suggestion: use correct verb 'snack' and the pronoun 'one' to replace 'habit'.

× Yeah, when I was younger I often ate ate snacks, especially sunflower seeds and chocolate.

✓ When I was younger, I often ate snacks, especially sunflower seeds and chocolate.

Repeated 'ate' is a simple repetition error. Add a comma after the introductory clause. Tense 'ate' is appropriate. Suggestion: remove duplicate word and punctuate the introductory clause.

× I usually had them after schools because they were quick and tasty and I remember sharing them with my friends.

✓ I usually had them after school because they were quick and tasty, and I remember sharing them with my friends.

Use singular 'school' for the time period after classes; 'after school' is the correct idiom. Add a comma before the coordinating conjunction for clarity. Suggestion: use idiomatic preposition phrase 'after school'.

× Uh yeah. To be honest, my favorite snakes is sunflower seeds because sunflower seeds is, umm, very delicious.

✓ To be honest, my favorite snack is sunflower seeds because they are very delicious.

'Snakes' should be 'snack' (singular noun for 'favorite'), so subject-verb agreement requires 'is'. 'Sunflower seeds' is plural, so refer to them with 'they are'. Suggestion: use correct noun 'snack' and match verb number with subject; use 'they are' for plural 'sunflower seeds'.

× Especially, say, watch the movie.

✓ I especially like them when I watch a movie.

Fragment lacking subject and verb; rephrase to a complete sentence indicating context for eating the snack. Use 'when I watch a movie' to show timing. Suggestion: form a full sentence that links the snack to the activity 'watching a movie'.