Patience— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: คำตอบของคุณควรใช้คำว่า 'patient' แทน 'passion' และควรปรับปรุงโครงสร้างประโยคให้ชัดเจนขึ้น รวมถึงใช้คำเชื่อมเพื่อความลื่นไหล เช่น 'although' หรือ 'even though' และหลีกเลี่ยงการใช้ประโยคที่ซ้ำซ้อนหรือผิดไวยากรณ์

例: Yes, I am a patient person because I can study for a long time even though people around me are talking and gossiping, which I find annoying.

提案: ควรใช้คำว่า 'cannot stand' แทน 'can stand' และปรับปรุงโครงสร้างประโยคให้ถูกต้อง รวมถึงใช้คำเชื่อมเพื่อเชื่อมประโยคให้สมเหตุสมผลมากขึ้น

例: I cannot stand it when people distract me, for example, when I am reading a book and they invite me to talk.

提案: ควรปรับปรุงการใช้คำและโครงสร้างประโยคให้ชัดเจนขึ้น เช่น ใช้ 'I feel stuck but I try to control myself' และอธิบายเหตุผลอย่างชัดเจน พร้อมใช้คำเชื่อมเพื่อความลื่นไหล

例: I sometimes feel stuck when doing something for a long time, but I try to control myself because I remind myself that it will benefit my future career.

提案: ควรปรับปรุงการใช้ไวยากรณ์และคำศัพท์ เช่น 'I am a university student, so my only duty is to study. Everything is peaceful, and I can control myself and concentrate on my lessons.' รวมถึงใช้คำเชื่อมเพื่อความลื่นไหล

例: I am currently a university student, so my only responsibility is to study. Fortunately, everything is peaceful, and I can control myself and concentrate on my lessons.

提案: ควรใช้คำว่า 'patient' แทน 'passion' และ 'patience' แทน 'pension' รวมถึงปรับปรุงโครงสร้างประโยคให้ถูกต้องและชัดเจน ใช้คำเชื่อมเพื่อเชื่อมความคิด เช่น 'because' หรือ 'so'

例: Of course, I think I am more patient now than when I was a child because I can read books for a long time and control myself better.

× Yes, I am passion person because I can study for a long time and ignore when people do something is annoying.

✓ Yes, I am a patient person because I can study for a long time and ignore when people do something annoying.

The word 'passion' is a noun and incorrectly used as an adjective here. The correct adjective is 'patient'. Also, 'do something is annoying' is incorrect; it should be 'do something annoying' to describe the action properly.

× For example I read a book in the library but my side is talking and gossip so I don't like.

✓ For example, I read a book in the library but the person beside me is talking and gossiping, so I don't like it.

The phrase 'my side is talking and gossip' is incorrect. It should be 'the person beside me is talking and gossiping'. Also, 'gossip' as a verb requires '-ing' form here. Added 'it' at the end for clarity.

× I can stand when some people distract me when I leaving, for example if I read a book and they invite me to talking.

✓ I can't stand it when some people distract me when I am leaving; for example, if I am reading a book and they invite me to talk.

The phrase 'I can stand' should be 'I can't stand' to express impatience. 'When I leaving' is incorrect; it should be 'when I am leaving'. 'Invite me to talking' should be 'invite me to talk' because 'to' is followed by the base verb.

× I feel stuck there but I can't control myself.

✓ I feel stuck there, but I can't control myself.

A comma is needed before 'but' to separate two independent clauses properly.

× For example, I can read a book for a long time because I remind myself to go and my future career.

✓ For example, I can read a book for a long time because I remind myself of my future career goals.

The phrase 'remind myself to go and my future career' is unclear and incorrect. The correct phrase is 'remind myself of my future career goals' to express motivation.

× I don't have a job now, I am student who study in the university so my duty is just only study in.

✓ I don't have a job now; I am a student who studies at the university, so my duty is just to study.

Missing article 'a' before 'student'. 'Who study' should be 'who studies' to agree with singular subject. 'Study in' is incorrect; it should be 'study' or 'study at the university'. Added semicolon for sentence separation.

× But everything is peaceful and I think I can control myself and concentrate with my lessons.

✓ But everything is peaceful, and I think I can control myself and concentrate on my lessons.

The preposition 'with' is incorrect after 'concentrate'; the correct preposition is 'on'.

× Of course I think I'm more passion when I was shy.

✓ Of course, I think I was more patient when I was shy.

'More passion' is incorrect; the adjective 'patient' should be used. Also, 'I'm' (I am) is inconsistent with 'when I was shy'; past tense 'I was' is correct.

× I am impressive person and don't have things before due to the action.

✓ I am an impressive person and didn't have things before due to my actions.

Missing article 'an' before 'impressive person'. 'Don't have' should be past tense 'didn't have' to match 'before'. 'Due to the action' is vague; 'due to my actions' is clearer.

× So nowadays I think I have more pension and I am reading a book for a long time and I can control myself.

✓ So nowadays, I think I have more patience, and I can read a book for a long time and control myself.

'More pension' is incorrect; the correct word is 'more patience'. 'I am reading a book for a long time' should be 'I can read a book for a long time' to express ability. Removed redundant 'I can control myself' repetition.