Patience— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is generally clear and relevant, but it could be more concise and natural. Avoid redundancy such as "really patient person" and "specially when situation becomes difficult" (should be "especially in difficult situations"). Also, use linking words to improve flow, for example, "For instance" is good, but you could add "because" to explain why you listen carefully. Try to limit your answer to 3-4 sentences for better effectiveness.

例: Yes, I consider myself a patient person, especially in difficult situations. For example, when people around me are emotional and need support, I listen carefully because it helps me stay calm and empathetic.

提案: Your answer is detailed and relevant, but there is a repetition of "everything everything" which should be corrected. Also, try to use linking words like "however" or "but" to connect ideas smoothly. To improve naturalness, you could rephrase "waiting for my personal development to show results" to "waiting to see progress in my personal development."

例: I feel impatient when I have to wait to see progress in my personal development. I usually set many goals and schedule calls or meetings to stay on track, but sometimes I want to achieve everything immediately, which can be frustrating.

提案: Your answer has grammatical errors and unclear pronouns, such as "they stay patient and determine" which should be "I stay patient and determined." Also, avoid filler words like "Umm." Try to provide a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details. Use linking words like "because" to explain your attitude.

例: I stay patient and determined when I have to do something for a long time because I always make sure to finish what I started. I never leave tasks unfinished or half done.

提案: Your answer is relevant but contains grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, "require" should be "requires," and "who just suffer it really bad events" should be "who have suffered really bad events." Avoid filler words like "Umm." Use linking words such as "because" and "therefore" to improve coherence.

例: Yes, my job requires me to be very patient with our clients because they are vulnerable people who have suffered really bad events. Therefore, as someone in daily contact with them, I need to remain calm and patient.

提案: Your answer is generally clear but incomplete and slightly fragmented. For example, "I feel more like adult right now" should be "I feel more like an adult now." Also, the last sentence is incomplete. Try to combine ideas using linking words like "because" and complete your thoughts for clarity.

例: Yes, I believe I have become more patient as I grew older because my job requires it. I feel more like an adult now, and with more responsibilities, I need to be patient.

× I would say that I'm a really patient person and specially when situation becomes difficult, for instance when people around me are emotional and need support, I always listen carefully and try to stay calm and empathetic.

✓ I would say that I'm a really patient person and especially when situations become difficult, for instance when people around me are emotional and need support, I always listen carefully and try to stay calm and empathetic.

The word 'specially' is incorrect here; the correct adverb is 'especially' to indicate emphasis. Also, 'situation' should be plural 'situations' to match the general context.

× I would say that I'm a really patient person and specially when situation becomes difficult, for instance when people around me are emotional and need support, I always listen carefully and try to stay calm and empathetic.

✓ I would say that I'm a really patient person and especially when situations become difficult, for instance when people around me are emotional and need support, I always listen carefully and try to stay calm and empathetic.

The noun 'situation' should be plural 'situations' because it refers to multiple instances in general, not a single one.

× One thing that really makes me impatient is waiting for my personal development to show results.

✓ One thing that really makes me impatient is waiting for my personal developments to show results.

'Personal development' can be countable or uncountable depending on context; here, 'developments' plural better fits the idea of multiple improvements or changes expected over time.

× I often set many goals for myself and schedule numerous calls or meetings to stay on track, but sometimes I just want to accomplish everything everything immediately, and it can be frustrating.

✓ I often set many goals for myself and schedule numerous calls or meetings to stay on track, but sometimes I just want to accomplish everything immediately, and it can be frustrating.

The word 'everything' is repeated twice by mistake; removing the duplicate improves clarity.

× I would say that they stay patient and determine and I always make sure that I finish what I started.

✓ I would say that I stay patient and determined and I always make sure that I finish what I started.

The pronoun 'they' is incorrect here; it should be 'I' to match the subject. Also, 'determine' should be the adjective 'determined' to describe the speaker's quality.

× Umm, this is a thing about me that I never leave things unfinished or half done.

✓ Umm, this is something about me: I never leave things unfinished or half done.

'A thing' is less natural here; 'something' is better. Also, adding a colon improves sentence clarity.

× Actually yes, my job specifically require me to be very patient with our clients.

✓ Actually yes, my job specifically requires me to be very patient with our clients.

The subject 'my job' is singular, so the verb should be 'requires' to agree in number.

× Umm, moreover our clients are people who are very vulnerable who just suffer it really bad events in their life and me as a person who is in a daily contact with them, I need to be very patient and calm.

✓ Umm, moreover, our clients are people who are very vulnerable and have just suffered really bad events in their lives, and I, as a person who is in daily contact with them, need to be very patient and calm.

The sentence is run-on and unclear. Added commas and conjunctions to separate ideas properly. 'Suffer it really bad events' is incorrect; corrected to 'have just suffered really bad events'. 'Me' changed to 'I' as subject. 'Life' changed to plural 'lives' to match plural 'clients'.

× Yes, I believe as I grew older I became more patient than I used to be when I was a child.

✓ Yes, I believe as I have grown older, I have become more patient than I used to be when I was a child.

The present perfect tense 'have grown' and 'have become' better express the ongoing change from past to present.

× It comes with specific requirements of my job.

✓ This comes with the specific requirements of my job.

Added 'This' as subject for clarity and 'the' before 'specific requirements' to specify particular requirements.

× I feel more like adult right now.

✓ I feel more like an adult right now.

The indefinite article 'an' is needed before the singular countable noun 'adult'.

× I have more responsibilities which require me to be.

✓ I have more responsibilities which require me to be patient.

The sentence is incomplete; it needs an adjective or complement after 'to be' to complete the meaning.