Patience— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more fluent and clear by avoiding filler words like 'umm' and repeated words such as 'we, we'. Also, improve sentence structure for clarity, for example, 'I have to deal with many people's emotions, so I need to control my temper and stay calm all the time.'

例: Yes, I consider myself a patient person because as a registered nurse, I often deal with many people's emotions. Therefore, I need to control my temper and remain calm at all times.

提案: Avoid excessive filler words and improve grammar and clarity. Use linking words to connect ideas logically. For example, say 'I usually feel impatient with myself, especially when I have to wait for something like my food because I get very hungry and can't even cook it myself.'

例: I usually feel impatient with myself, especially when I have to wait for something like my food because I get very hungry and can't even cook it myself.

提案: Your answer is incomplete and unclear. Try to complete your thoughts and avoid filler words. Use linking words to connect ideas. For example, 'It depends on the task. If it's work, I might feel tired and bored after a while, but I enjoy doing something engaging for a long time.'

例: It depends on the task. If it's work, I might feel tired and bored after a while, but I enjoy doing something engaging for a long time.

提案: Improve sentence clarity and grammar. Avoid filler words and unclear phrases. For example, 'Yes, definitely. Since I work with people, I have to be patient because not every situation is enjoyable; sometimes it can be difficult and requires thoughtfulness.'

例: Yes, definitely. Since I work with people, I have to be patient because not every situation is enjoyable; sometimes it can be difficult and requires thoughtfulness.

提案: Work on grammar and vocabulary accuracy. Use linking words to make your answer coherent. For example, 'Yes, I am more patient now than when I was a child because children's emotions are not fully developed, so they often lack patience. As we grow up, we learn many things, including how to be patient.'

例: Yes, I am more patient now than when I was a child because children's emotions are not fully developed, so they often lack patience. As we grow up, we learn many things, including how to be patient.

× Well, I think I am due to, I have to work as a registered nurse and that kind of work, umm, have to deal with a lot of everybody's emotions.

✓ Well, I think I am because I have to work as a registered nurse and that kind of work involves dealing with a lot of everybody's emotions.

The phrase 'have to deal' should be in the '-ing' form 'involves dealing' to correctly express the ongoing action related to the noun 'work'. This is a common structure where a noun is followed by a gerund to describe its characteristics.

× So yeah, we, we have to control our temper and stay calm the time and even.

✓ So yeah, we have to control our temper and stay calm all the time and even more.

The phrase 'the time' is incorrect; it should be 'all the time' to indicate continuous action. Also, 'and even' is incomplete and unclear; adding 'more' clarifies the meaning. Adverbs and phrases indicating time should be placed correctly to convey the intended meaning.

× I always feel impatient for myself, like umm sometime I have to wait for something like umm, my food.

✓ I always feel impatient with myself, like sometimes I have to wait for something like my food.

The correct preposition with 'impatient' is 'with' not 'for'. Also, 'sometime' should be 'sometimes' to indicate frequency. Prepositions are important to convey the correct relationship between words.

× I was like I was so hungry and I can't even bake for it.

✓ I was so hungry and I couldn't even wait for it.

The phrase 'I was like' is informal and unnecessary here. 'Can't' should be in past tense 'couldn't' to match 'was'. Also, 'bake for it' is incorrect; the intended verb is likely 'wait'. Using correct past tense verbs maintains tense consistency.

× Yeah, it's depends on what I'm doing.

✓ Yeah, it depends on what I'm doing.

The verb 'depends' should be used without 'is' in present simple tense. 'It depends' is the correct subject-verb agreement. Using 'it's depends' is incorrect because 'it's' is a contraction of 'it is' which does not fit here.

× Like if it's the work, is it my work?

✓ Like if it's work, like my work?

The phrase 'is it my work?' is awkward and unnecessary. Simplifying to 'like my work?' is more natural. Also, 'the work' is less natural than just 'work' in this context. Pronouns and articles should be used appropriately for clarity.

× But I do love doing something for a while because.

✓ But I do love doing something for a while.

The conjunction 'because' is used to introduce a reason but here it is left incomplete, making the sentence fragmentary. Removing 'because' completes the sentence properly. Conjunctions should be used with complete clauses.

× So we cannot control it to be enjoyable all the time.

✓ So we cannot expect it to be enjoyable all the time.

The phrase 'cannot control it to be enjoyable' is incorrect. The intended meaning is better expressed with 'cannot expect it to be enjoyable'. Using correct verbs and pronouns improves clarity.

× We can't deny that sometimes is have to be like umm, terrible and thoughtful.

✓ We can't deny that sometimes it has to be terrible and difficult.

The phrase 'sometimes is have to be' is grammatically incorrect. It should be 'sometimes it has to be'. Also, 'thoughtful' is incorrect in this context; 'difficult' fits better. Subject-verb agreement and word choice are important here.

× I would say yes, of course, because when I was child, I think our emotion didn't get fully development, so we might lack of patience at some point.

✓ I would say yes, of course, because when I was a child, I think our emotions didn't fully develop, so we might have lacked patience at some point.

The phrase 'when I was child' needs the article 'a'. 'Emotion' should be plural 'emotions'. 'Didn't get fully development' is incorrect; it should be 'didn't fully develop'. 'Might lack of patience' should be 'might have lacked patience'. Correct use of articles, plural forms, verb tenses, and verb forms is necessary.

× But when we've grown up, you learn a lot of things and we learn about patient.

✓ But when we've grown up, we learn a lot of things and we learn about patience.

The pronoun shifts from 'you' to 'we' which is inconsistent; it should be consistent 'we'. Also, 'patient' is an adjective; the noun form 'patience' is correct here. Consistent pronoun use and correct noun forms improve clarity.