Patience— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Сіздің жауабыңызда грамматикалық қателер мен сөздердің дұрыс қолданылмауы байқалады. Жауапты қысқа әрі нақты етіп, бір тақырыпқа шоғырлану керек. Мысалы, сабырсыздығыңызды түсіндіру үшін нақты себептер мен мысалдар келтіріңіз.

例: No, I am not a patient person because I often get distracted and want to finish tasks quickly. For example, when I study, I find it hard to focus on one subject for a long time.

提案: Жауабыңызда сұрақты қайталағансыз, бұл қажетсіз және жауапты табиғи емес етеді. Жауапты нақты және логикалық байланысты сөздермен толықтырыңыз. Мысалы, сабырсыздықтың себебін түсіндіріңіз.

例: I feel impatient when I cannot concentrate on one task because my mind keeps wandering. This makes me frustrated and eager to finish quickly.

提案: Жауабыңызда сөйлем құрылымы мен сөздердің дұрыс қолданылуы жетіспейді. Жауапты толық әрі түсінікті етіп, нақты мысалдармен толықтырыңыз. Логикалық байланысты сөздерді қолданыңыз.

例: I feel uncomfortable when I have to do something for a long time because I get distracted easily. For example, social media often interrupts my concentration.

提案: Жауабыңызда қайталаулар көп және сөйлемдер түсініксіз. Жауапты қысқа әрі нақты етіп, сұраққа тікелей жауап беріңіз. Мысалы, қазіргі жағдайыңызды айтып, болашақ жоспарларыңызды қосыңыз.

例: I am a student and do not have a job now. However, I think that any job will require patience, especially if I want to earn money in the future.

提案: Жауабыңызда қарама-қайшылық бар және сөйлемдер дұрыс құрылған жоқ. Жауапты нақты әрі логикалық етіп, өткен мен қазіргі жағдайды салыстырыңыз.

例: No, I am less patient now than when I was a child because I get distracted by social media more often. When I was younger, I could focus better on tasks.

× I can't study focusing only for example, for laptop Peter as well.

✓ I can't study focusing only on one thing, for example, on my laptop or Peter as well.

The preposition 'on' is required after 'focusing' to indicate the object of focus. Also, the sentence structure was unclear and needed clarification to specify what the student cannot focus on.

× MMM, I'm impatient. What is it that makes you feel impatient? My focus makes me feel impatient because I can't focus on only one thing. It makes me feel impatient.

✓ I'm impatient because I can't focus on only one thing. That makes me feel impatient.

The original sentence included a repeated question and was redundant. The correction removes the repeated question and clarifies the cause of impatience in a concise way.

× I always always social medias are disturbing me when I try to do else I always. Bothering with social media?

✓ Social media always disturbs me when I try to do something else.

The phrase 'bothering with social media' is incorrect. The correct verb is 'disturbs' and the preposition 'with' is unnecessary. Also, the sentence was fragmented and needed restructuring for clarity.

× Actually I'm 15 years old adolescents and I'm studying at school. Actually I not I'm not working at this moment.

✓ Actually, I'm a 15-year-old adolescent and I'm studying at school. Actually, I'm not working at the moment.

The word 'adolescents' is plural and incorrect here; it should be 'adolescent' to match the singular subject. Also, the sentence had a double negative and missing auxiliary verb 'am' in 'I not I'm not' which was corrected.

× So I don't know my job required but it's but I want to be financed.

✓ So I don't know if my job requires patience, but I want to be financially independent.

The sentence was unclear and had incorrect pronoun and verb usage. 'My job required' should be 'my job requires' to match present tense and subject-verb agreement. Also, 'I want to be financed' is awkward; 'financially independent' is clearer.

× No, when I was child, I was more patient than now because, uh, in adolescents age, I always used to watching social medias and it, it was uh, destroying my focusing.

✓ No, when I was a child, I was more patient than now because, during adolescence, I used to watch social media a lot and it was destroying my focus.

The phrase 'when I was child' needs the article 'a'. 'In adolescents age' should be 'during adolescence'. 'Used to watching' is incorrect; it should be 'used to watch'. 'Social medias' should be 'social media' as it is uncountable. 'Destroying my focusing' should be 'destroying my focus'.