Patience— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is somewhat clear but contains some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'talk brutally' and 'compliments on my patients'. Try to use more natural expressions and correct vocabulary. Also, avoid redundancy and keep your answer concise within 5 sentences. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: Yes, I consider myself a patient person. For example, when I have to wait for a bus or if a friend is late, I try to stay calm and not get upset. My family and friends often tell me that I am very patient, which I appreciate. I believe patience helps me handle difficult situations better.

提案: Your answer addresses the question but has several language errors and unclear phrases like 'having a plot on one one plate'. Try to use clearer and more natural expressions. Also, organize your answer logically with linking words and avoid unnecessary repetition.

例: I usually feel impatient when the Wi-Fi connection is slow or unavailable. Since I live in a fast-paced world and have many tasks to complete on my computer, a poor internet connection can really slow me down. Therefore, I get frustrated when I cannot work efficiently.

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains many grammatical mistakes and awkward phrases such as 'really static to me' and 'Commission it to any others'. Try to express your ideas clearly and use appropriate vocabulary. Also, structure your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details connected by linking words.

例: When I have to do something for a long time, I usually feel bored and restless. Therefore, I try to finish the task quickly or delegate it to someone else if possible. However, if the task is important, I motivate myself by taking short breaks and finding ways to stay focused.

提案: Your answer is relevant but has grammatical errors and unclear expressions like 'studying career require no patience' and 'keep moving keep'. Try to use correct grammar and clearer sentences. Also, provide specific examples and use linking words to improve coherence.

例: Although I am still a high school student, my studies require a lot of patience. Sometimes, I feel frustrated when I cannot understand difficult topics despite trying hard. However, I remind myself to be patient and keep studying, which helps me improve over time.

提案: Your answer attempts to compare past and present patience but contains many unclear and incorrect phrases such as 'originally had worshipper', 'acted aggressively or bottomly', and 'persistent Incarnate'. Use simpler and clearer language to express your ideas. Also, organize your answer logically with linking words and specific examples.

例: Yes, I am definitely more patient now than when I was a child. In the past, I used to get angry easily when facing difficult challenges, especially in my studies. However, with experience, I have learned that patience and persistence are very important for success in both academic and professional life.

× I consider myself as a person who is really level headed and patient.

✓ I consider myself a person who is really level-headed and patient.

The verb 'consider' is followed directly by the object without the preposition 'as'. Also, 'level headed' should be hyphenated as 'level-headed' when used as a compound adjective before a noun.

× I consider myself as a person who is really level headed and patient.

✓ I consider myself a person who is really level-headed and patient.

The adjective 'level headed' should be hyphenated to form the compound adjective 'level-headed' when describing a person.

× Whenever it comes to waiting for a bus or for a friend missing the appointment, I will try my best to not act aggressively and talk brutally.

✓ Whenever it comes to waiting for a bus or a friend missing an appointment, I try my best not to act aggressively or speak harshly.

The phrase 'talk brutally' is unnatural; 'speak harshly' is more appropriate. Also, 'to not act' should be 'not to act' for correct infinitive negation. 'For a friend missing the appointment' should be 'a friend missing an appointment' for natural phrasing.

× I will try my best to not act aggressively and talk brutally.

✓ I try my best not to act aggressively or speak harshly.

Use 'speak harshly' instead of 'talk brutally' as it is more natural. Also, 'try my best not to' is the correct negation form.

× Moreover, my friends and my family members also put compliments on my patients since I always try my best to achieve.

✓ Moreover, my friends and family members also compliment my patience since I always try my best to persevere.

The phrase 'put compliments on my patients' is incorrect; the correct expression is 'compliment my patience'. Also, 'patients' should be 'patience' (noun). 'Try my best to achieve' is vague; 'try my best to persevere' fits the context better.

× Moreover, my friends and my family members also put compliments on my patients since I always try my best to achieve.

✓ Moreover, my friends and family members also compliment my patience since I always try my best to persevere.

The pronoun 'my patients' is incorrect; it should be 'my patience' to refer to the quality of being patient.

× Well, I believe that the most common reason must be due to the lacking Wi-Fi connection.

✓ Well, I believe that the most common reason must be the lack of Wi-Fi connection.

The phrase 'due to the lacking Wi-Fi connection' is incorrect. 'Due to' should be followed by a noun phrase; 'the lack of Wi-Fi connection' is correct.

× It sounds a little bit mundane, but to be honest, living in a fast changing world and having a plot on one one plate, I always have to act quickly and also Internet is very crucial for my work since I have to do multiple tasks on my computer.

✓ It sounds a little mundane, but to be honest, living in a fast-changing world and having a lot on my plate, I always have to act quickly. Also, the Internet is very crucial for my work since I have to do multiple tasks on my computer.

'Fast changing' should be hyphenated as 'fast-changing'. 'Having a plot on one one plate' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'having a lot on my plate'. 'Internet' should be preceded by 'the' as it is a specific noun.

× ...and also Internet is very crucial for my work since I have to do multiple tasks on my computer.

✓ ...and also the Internet is very crucial for my work since I have to do multiple tasks on my computer.

The noun 'Internet' requires the definite article 'the' when referring to the global network.

× For most cases, I it would be really static to me.

✓ In most cases, it would be really static to me.

The phrase 'I it' is incorrect and redundant. 'In most cases' is the correct prepositional phrase. The sentence structure needs correction for clarity.

× For most cases, I it would be really static to me.

✓ In most cases, it would be really boring to me.

The word 'static' is not appropriate to describe feelings of boredom; 'boring' is the correct adjective.

× So particularly I feel very bored and return.

✓ So particularly, I feel very bored and restless.

The word 'return' is incorrect in this context; likely the intended word is 'restless' to describe a feeling of impatience or discomfort.

× Yes, I usually make it a point to uh, finish the task as soon as possible or Commission it to any others, but when it's crucial for me, I would make it a point to energize myself and entertain the things.

✓ Yes, I usually make it a point to finish the task as soon as possible or commission it to others, but when it's crucial for me, I make it a point to energize myself and entertain myself with the tasks.

'Commission' should not be capitalized. 'Any others' is incorrect; 'others' suffices. 'Entertain the things' is unnatural; 'entertain myself with the tasks' is clearer.

× ...or Commission it to any others...

✓ ...or commission it to others...

The phrase 'any others' is unnecessary; 'others' is sufficient and more natural.

× ...I would make it a point to energize myself and entertain the things.

✓ ...I make it a point to energize myself and entertain myself with the tasks.

The phrase 'entertain the things' is unclear and unnatural; it should be 'entertain myself with the tasks' to convey the intended meaning.

× In fact, I am still a high school student, but that doesn't mean that my studying career require no patience.

✓ In fact, I am still a high school student, but that doesn't mean that my studying career requires no patience.

The subject 'studying career' is singular, so the verb should be 'requires' to agree in the present tense.

× Actually, I have undergone multiple times of feelings hopeless.

✓ Actually, I have experienced multiple times of feeling hopeless.

The phrase 'undergone multiple times of feelings hopeless' is incorrect. 'Experienced multiple times of feeling hopeless' is the correct expression.

× Like I try my best to understand the point of the knowledge but nothing progress or improve.

✓ I try my best to understand the point of the knowledge, but nothing progresses or improves.

The verbs 'progress' and 'improve' need to be in the third person singular form 'progresses' and 'improves' to agree with the singular subject 'nothing'.

× ...but nothing progress or improve.

✓ ...but nothing progresses or improves.

The subject 'nothing' is singular, so the verbs must be in third person singular form: 'progresses' and 'improves'.

× So I need to be patient to keep moving keep.

✓ So I need to be patient to keep moving forward.

The phrase 'keep moving keep' is incorrect and redundant; 'keep moving forward' is the correct expression.

× Back then when I originally had worshipper, I always acted aggressively or bottomly whenever it comes to hard and persistent challenging, especially in study.

✓ Back then, when I was younger, I always acted aggressively or badly whenever it came to hard and persistent challenges, especially in studying.

The word 'worshipper' is incorrect; likely intended 'was younger'. 'Bottomly' is not a word; 'badly' is correct. 'Challenging' should be plural 'challenges'. 'In study' should be 'in studying'.

× Back then when I originally had worshipper, I always acted aggressively or bottomly whenever it comes to hard and persistent challenging, especially in study.

✓ Back then, when I was younger, I always acted aggressively or badly whenever it came to hard and persistent challenges, especially in studying.

The verb tense should be past tense 'came' to match 'back then' and 'acted'.

× Back then when I originally had worshipper, I always acted aggressively or bottomly whenever it comes to hard and persistent challenging, especially in study.

✓ Back then, when I was younger, I always acted aggressively or badly whenever it came to hard and persistent challenges, especially in studying.

The adverb 'bottomly' is incorrect; the correct adverb is 'badly'.

× But now after what I have gone through and gained in life, I knew that patience, persistent Incarnate are very important in studying and academical and professional settings.

✓ But now, after what I have gone through and gained in life, I know that patience and persistence incarnate are very important in academic and professional settings.

The verb tense should be present 'know' to match 'now'. 'Persistent Incarnate' is incorrect; it should be 'persistence incarnate'. 'Academical' is incorrect; the correct adjective is 'academic'.