Patience— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Verbessern Sie die Klarheit und Grammatik Ihrer Antwort. Vermeiden Sie Wiederholungen und unvollständige Sätze, um die Natürlichkeit zu erhöhen. Verwenden Sie klare Beispiele und strukturieren Sie Ihre Antwort logisch.

例: I'm not a very patient person, but I've improved over time. For instance, when my brother doesn't respond quickly, I used to get very impatient and angry, but now I try to stay calm.

提案: Achten Sie auf Grammatik und Satzstruktur, insbesondere bei Zeitformen und Subjekt-Verb-Übereinstimmung. Verwenden Sie verbindende Wörter, um Ihre Argumentation klarer und flüssiger zu gestalten.

例: I'm not always sure what exactly makes me impatient, but I think time pressure is the main cause. For example, when I have a strict deadline, I realize I can't finish my tasks quickly enough, which makes me anxious and frustrated, especially during exams.

提案: Verbessern Sie die Satzstruktur und Vollständigkeit Ihrer Antworten. Vermeiden Sie unvollständige Sätze und stellen Sie sicher, dass Ihre Gedanken klar und vollständig ausgedrückt werden.

例: It depends on the task. For example, I am more patient when studying for an exam because it directly affects my future, but I might be less patient with long-term goals like working out for a year to improve my figure.

提案: Vermeiden Sie vage Formulierungen und unklare Aussagen. Strukturieren Sie Ihre Antwort klar und verwenden Sie passende Beispiele, um Ihre Meinung zu unterstützen.

例: I don't have a job currently because I'm taking a gap year, but I believe most jobs require patience in certain situations. For example, customer service roles often demand a lot of patience.

提案: Achten Sie auf Grammatik und Satzbau, insbesondere bei Zeitformen und der Verwendung von Hilfsverben. Verwenden Sie verbindende Wörter, um Ihre Antwort flüssiger zu gestalten.

例: I'm definitely more patient now than when I was a child because I used to show my temper immediately. Now, I try to control my emotions and even if I'm impatient, I don't show it.

× if I wanted that my brother for example, to get something done and he didn't answer right now I would get very impatient and angry.

✓ if I wanted my brother, for example, to get something done and he didn't answer right away, I would get very impatient and angry.

The phrase 'answer right now' is incorrect; it should be 'answer right away' to indicate immediate response. Also, 'wanted that my brother' is incorrect; it should be 'wanted my brother' without 'that'.

× Actually I'm not always sure what's exactly make me feel impatient, but if I had to guess I would say the time pressure is the main cause,

✓ Actually, I'm not always sure what exactly makes me feel impatient, but if I had to guess, I would say the time pressure is the main cause,

The verb 'make' should be in third person singular form 'makes' to agree with the singular subject 'what'. Also, 'what's exactly' is incorrect; it should be 'what exactly'.

× because if I had a strict deadline I realized that I can finish my task quickly enough.

✓ because if I had a strict deadline, I realized that I could finish my task quickly enough.

The modal verb 'can' should be in past form 'could' to match the past tense context introduced by 'had' and 'realized'.

× That made me feel anxious and quite frustrated, for example during exam when I'm rushing to meet.

✓ That made me feel anxious and quite frustrated, for example during exams when I'm rushing to meet deadlines.

The sentence is incomplete and lacks clarity. 'During exam' should be 'during exams', and 'rushing to meet' should specify what is being met, e.g., 'deadlines'.

× It really depends on the thought what I have to do if I have to learn for an exam.

✓ It really depends on the thought of what I have to do; if I have to learn for an exam,

The phrase 'depends on the thought what I have to do' is awkward and ungrammatical. It should be 'depends on the thought of what I have to do'. Also, the sentence is incomplete and needs proper punctuation.

× I would definitely be way more patient than compared to if I have to work out for a year to have a better figure because exam directly influence your.

✓ I would definitely be way more patient compared to if I have to work out for a year to have a better figure because exams directly influence you.

The verb 'influence' should be in third person singular 'influences' or plural 'influence' matching 'exams'. Also, 'than compared to' is redundant; 'compared to' alone suffices. The sentence ends abruptly and needs completion.

× I don't have a job now because I'm in a gap year, but I think every job requires one to be patient in a certain situation.

✓ I don't have a job now because I'm in a gap year, but I think every job requires someone to be patient in certain situations.

The pronoun 'one' is formal and less common in spoken English; 'someone' is more natural here. Also, 'a certain situation' should be plural 'certain situations' to generalize.

× I can imagine there is a job that doesn't have to be patient all the time, so I would definitely try to be like that.

✓ I can imagine there is a job where you don't have to be patient all the time, so I would definitely try to have a job like that.

The phrase 'a job that doesn't have to be patient' is incorrect because jobs cannot be patient; people are patient. It should be 'a job where you don't have to be patient'. Also, 'try to be like that' is unclear; 'try to have a job like that' is better.

× I'm definitely more patient now than I was a child because as a child I would definitely show my temper.

✓ I'm definitely more patient now than I was as a child because, as a child, I would definitely show my temper.

The phrase 'than I was a child' is missing 'as' to compare properly: 'than I was as a child'. Commas improve clarity.

× If I am impatient I will directly show it.

✓ If I am impatient, I will directly show it.

A comma is needed after the conditional clause 'If I am impatient' to separate it from the main clause.

× But now I'm always try to control my emotion and my temper.

✓ But now I always try to control my emotions and my temper.

The verb 'am' should be removed; 'I always try' is correct. Also, 'emotion' should be plural 'emotions'.

× Even I'm impatient, I wouldn't show it.

✓ Even if I'm impatient, I wouldn't show it.

The phrase 'Even I'm impatient' is incorrect; it should be 'Even if I'm impatient' to express the condition.