Patience— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to reduce filler words like 'uh' and 'I' repetitions to make your answer sound more natural and fluent. Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly and avoid redundancy. For example, you can say: "Yes, I am a patient person now, but when I was younger, I lacked patience. However, I gradually developed it through meditation and self-reflection."

例: Yes, I am a patient person now, but when I was younger, I lacked patience. However, I gradually developed it through meditation and self-reflection.

提案: Avoid filler words and improve sentence structure for clarity. Use linking words like 'also' or 'in addition' to connect ideas. For example, "I feel impatient when I catch someone lying. In addition, I cannot tolerate people being late or making me wait."

例: I feel impatient when I catch someone lying. In addition, I cannot tolerate people being late or making me wait.

提案: Improve grammar and sentence flow. Use linking words to connect ideas. For example, "Doing the same thing for a long time makes me bored because I prefer exploring new ideas. Therefore, it often makes me feel impatient."

例: Doing the same thing for a long time makes me bored because I prefer exploring new ideas. Therefore, it often makes me feel impatient.

提案: Avoid repetition and correct grammar mistakes. Use linking words to improve coherence. For example, "Yes, my job often requires patience because I deal with demanding partners and dealers who sometimes complain. Therefore, I have to stay calm and patient."

例: Yes, my job often requires patience because I deal with demanding partners and dealers who sometimes complain. Therefore, I have to stay calm and patient.

提案: Improve sentence structure and grammar. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly. For example, "Yes, I am definitely more patient now compared to when I was a child because I developed this trait through a lot of practice and meditation."

例: Yes, I am definitely more patient now compared to when I was a child because I developed this trait through a lot of practice and meditation.

× I gradually developed it, uh, with the meditation and with the, uh, check on my behavior.

✓ I gradually developed it, uh, with meditation and by checking my behavior.

The phrase 'with the meditation and with the, uh, check on my behavior' is awkward and incorrect. 'Meditation' is an uncountable noun and does not need 'the'. Also, 'check on my behavior' should be expressed as 'checking my behavior' to correctly use the verb in the present participle form after a preposition.

× if, if I find someone speaking, uh, lie, then I get impatience.

✓ if I find someone telling a lie, then I get impatient.

The phrase 'speaking lie' is incorrect; the correct expression is 'telling a lie'. Also, 'impatience' is a noun, but here an adjective 'impatient' is needed to describe the feeling.

× if a person is being late or if I'm forced to wait for someone that also make me impatient.

✓ if a person is late or if I'm forced to wait for someone, that also makes me impatient.

The verb 'make' should be 'makes' to agree with the singular subject 'that'. Also, 'being late' is better expressed as 'is late' in this context.

× For doing same thing for a long time make me bored.

✓ Doing the same thing for a long time makes me bored.

The phrase 'For doing same thing' is incorrect; it should be 'Doing the same thing'. Also, the verb 'make' should be 'makes' to agree with the singular subject 'Doing the same thing'.

× I prefer doing new things and explore new ideas.

✓ I prefer doing new things and exploring new ideas.

After 'prefer', when using two verbs connected by 'and', both should be in the same form. Here, 'doing' is gerund, so 'explore' should be changed to 'exploring' to maintain parallel structure.

× So I have to make my I have to be patients and keep calm.

✓ So I have to be patient and keep calm.

The phrase 'make my I have to be patients' is incorrect and confusing. The correct expression is 'I have to be patient'. Also, 'patients' is plural noun, but here the adjective 'patient' is needed.

× Oh yes, this is true that I am more patient now in compared to my old days.

✓ Oh yes, it is true that I am more patient now compared to my old days.

The phrase 'in compared to' is incorrect; the correct phrase is simply 'compared to'. Also, 'this is true' is better expressed as 'it is true' in this context.