Patience— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contains some grammatical errors. Try to give a direct response first, then support it with clear and specific reasons. Avoid redundancy and ensure your sentences are grammatically correct.

例: Yes, I consider myself a patient person because I work with children. They learn by imitation, so I need to stay calm and set a good example. Although I sometimes get angry, I have learned to be more patient over time.

提案: Your answer addresses the question but lacks clarity and contains some awkward phrasing. Try to organize your ideas logically using linking words and correct grammar. Also, avoid incomplete sentences.

例: I feel impatient when I have to wait for a long time or when my plans are suddenly changed. I prefer to keep my schedule organized, so disruptions make me uneasy. However, I am trying to be more flexible and patient in these situations.

提案: Your answer is relevant but contains some grammatical mistakes and informal expressions. Use more formal language and clear sentence structures. Also, use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.

例: Initially, I used to get impatient quickly when doing tasks for a long time. However, now I try to stay calm and focus on completing my work quietly. I also respect others' time by waiting patiently before starting my assigned tasks.

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant but could be improved by using more varied vocabulary and smoother linking phrases. Also, avoid repeating words unnecessarily.

例: Patience is essential in my job as a pediatric physiotherapist because working with children requires calmness. I need to demonstrate willingness to help, even when the children become impatient. Therefore, patience is a key quality in my profession.

提案: Your answer addresses the question but contains some incorrect word choices and awkward phrasing. Use appropriate vocabulary and clearer sentence structures. Also, try to link your ideas logically.

例: My mother told me that I was a very tantrum-prone child. I used to throw many tantrums. However, now I am more mature and stable. I remain calm and composed, which helps me perform well in my responsibilities.

× I sometimes get angry, but also it is important to be extremely patient and calm with the kids.

✓ I sometimes get angry, but it is also important to be extremely patient and calm with the kids.

The phrase 'but also it is important' is awkward and incorrect in word order. The correct form is 'but it is also important' to maintain proper sentence flow and clarity.

× Since they have a habit of adaption, they imitate a lot that is still learned by examples.

✓ Since they have a habit of adapting, they imitate a lot, which is still learned by examples.

The word 'adaption' is incorrect; the correct gerund form is 'adapting'. Also, the sentence structure is unclear; adding 'which' clarifies that imitation is learned by examples.

× So I have become very patient over.

✓ So I have become very patient over time.

The phrase 'over' is incomplete and unclear. Adding 'time' completes the expression 'over time', indicating gradual change.

× If something gets on my nose, that would definitely be having to wait.

✓ If something gets on my nerves, that would definitely be having to wait.

The idiom is 'gets on my nerves', meaning something annoys me. 'Gets on my nose' is incorrect.

× I hate change of plans I need to order to my schedules.

✓ I hate changes to plans; I need to stick to my schedules.

The phrase 'change of plans I need to order to my schedules' is incorrect. The correct expression is 'changes to plans' and 'stick to my schedules' to convey maintaining order.

× So if there is a break into that or if there's something that has upset my schedule, I become very impatient.

✓ So if there is a break in that or if something upsets my schedule, I become very impatient.

The phrase 'break into that' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'break in that'. Also, 'has upset' can be simplified to 'upsets' for present tense consistency.

× However, I am working on all of those things now. I.

✓ However, I am working on all of those things now.

The sentence ends abruptly with 'I.' which is incomplete and should be removed for clarity.

× At first, I remember I used to be very impatient.

✓ At first, I remember that I used to be very impatient.

Adding 'that' after 'remember' improves sentence clarity and correctness.

× However, now I'm like I said, I'm working on my patients.

✓ However, now, as I said, I'm working on my patience.

The word 'patients' is incorrect; the correct noun is 'patience' meaning the ability to be patient.

× I make sure that I sit there, quietly finish whatever I am doing and allow the person to do his or her work before I can do what is being assigned to me.

✓ I make sure that I sit there quietly, finish whatever I am doing, and allow the person to do his or her work before I do what is assigned to me.

The sentence needed commas to separate actions and 'can do' is unnecessary; 'do' suffices for present tense.

× You have to show them that you're willing to work no matter how impatient they get.

✓ You have to show them that you're willing to work no matter how impatient you get.

The pronoun 'they' is incorrect here because it refers to the person being addressed; 'you' is appropriate.

× As far as I remember, my mother has always told me that I was a child, a very tantrumatic child.

✓ As far as I remember, my mother has always told me that I was a child who threw many tantrums.

The word 'tantrumatic' is not a correct adjective. The correct expression is 'a child who threw many tantrums' or 'a very tantrum-prone child'.

× However, now I am quite mature and stable.

✓ However, now I am quite mature and stable.

This sentence is correct and needs no correction.

× I always keep my peace.

✓ I always keep my peace of mind.

The phrase 'keep my peace' is incomplete; the correct idiom is 'keep my peace of mind' meaning to remain calm.

× I make sure I am in my calm and composed self so that I am able to perform well in whatever I am required to.

✓ I make sure I am calm and composed so that I am able to perform well in whatever I am required to do.

The phrase 'in my calm and composed self' is awkward; 'I am calm and composed' is correct. Also, 'required to' should be followed by 'do'.