Patience— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and fluent. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers and repetition, and add one specific example that shows patience. Use linking words for coherence.

例: Yes, I consider myself a patient person. For example, when classmates ask me for help with homework, I often spend extra time explaining each step calmly so they understand, even if it takes a long time.

提案: Clarify the idea and give a specific cause. Avoid unclear phrases and filler words. State the main point, then give a brief example or reason using linking words.

例: I feel impatient when people repeatedly ask the same basic question. For instance, it frustrates me when a colleague keeps asking how to use a feature after I have already explained it because it slows down our progress.

提案: Make a clear contrast and finish your sentence. Use linking words (however, but) and give a specific example of an interesting versus boring task. Reduce hesitation and repetition.

例: If a task interests me, I enjoy working on it for hours and feel motivated; for example, I can study a topic deeply because I find it fascinating. However, if the task is boring, I quickly lose focus and become tired.

提案: Respond directly and give a specific example of how patience is required in your studies. Remove filler words and complete your thoughts with linking words like because or for example.

例: Yes, being a college student requires patience because learning complex subjects takes time; for example, preparing for exams often means revising material repeatedly and practising problems patiently until I understand them.

提案: Give a clear comparison and a concrete reason with an example. Use linking words (because, since) and avoid fragmented sentences. State how you changed and why.

例: Yes, I am more patient now than as a child because I understand the steps needed to achieve goals. For example, when studying a difficult topic I now follow a study plan step by step rather than getting frustrated and quitting.

× Uh, after, after time, I think I'm a patient person because I think I can, I can spend, uh, some, a, a lot of time to, to people who want to ask me some question. I think I'm a patient person.

✓ After some time, I think I'm a patient person because I can spend a lot of time with people who want to ask me questions. I think I'm a patient person.

The original has awkward repetition and incorrect preposition and noun forms. Use present simple 'I am' and 'I can spend' for a general truth. Use 'spend time with someone' not 'spend time to people', and plural 'questions' for countable items. Remove repeated filler words to improve clarity.

× Oh, let me think. I think if a if something question make me feel impatient. If a simple and the same question. Uh, lower than 2nd.

✓ Let me think. I get impatient if a question is simple and is asked repeatedly, or if I have to answer the same question many times.

The original sentences are fragmented and have incorrect verb form 'make' instead of 'makes' and unclear noun phrases. Reconstruct as full sentences: subject 'a question' requires third-person singular verb 'is' and 'is asked repeatedly' or 'I have to answer the same question many times' clarifies meaning.

× Uh, if, uh, if this thing is my, uh, interesting, interesting to this, I can spend time, spend a lot of time for this. I feel it's good to me. But if it's nothing is.

✓ If the task is interesting to me, I can spend a lot of time on it and I feel good about it. But if it is not interesting, I do not enjoy it.

Use present simple to express general situations. Use correct preposition 'spend time on something' and avoid fragments like 'it's nothing is'. Replace 'interesting to this' with 'interesting to me' and form the negative as 'it is not interesting'.

× Yes, uh, you know, I'm still a college student, so my work required my, my to be patient. I need to patient to finish my study at work. Uh, knowledge is, uh, knowledge need me to spend time to understand them and.

✓ Yes, I'm still a college student, so my work requires me to be patient. I need to be patient to finish my studies and to understand the knowledge, which takes time.

Problems: verb form 'required' should be 'requires' to match present tense and singular subject 'work'; pronoun usage 'my to be patient' is incorrect — use 'requires me to be patient'. Use infinitive 'to be patient'. 'Study' should be plural 'studies' or 'my studies'. 'Knowledge' is uncountable and should be followed by singular references or 'it takes time' rather than 'them'.

× I think I'm more patient now. If I know what, uh, what do I do? Uh, I know this special step that I need to do, so I usually keep me, Keep me.

✓ I think I'm more patient now. If I know what I should do and the steps I need to take, I usually keep calm and follow them.

Original has incorrect question word order 'what do I do' inside a conditional and unclear phrase 'keep me'. Use 'know what I should do' and 'keep calm' or 'compose myself'. Use plural 'steps' and 'follow them' for clarity and correct pronoun reference.