Patience— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Clarify meaning, correct contradictions and be concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid saying you have conflicts if you mean the opposite, and give one brief supporting detail using a linking word. Watch grammar ("have conflict" → "don't have conflicts" or "try to avoid conflicts").

例: Yes, I consider myself a patient person, especially at work. For example, when situations get stressful, I try to stay calm and listen carefully to my manager so misunderstandings are resolved quickly.

提案: Be precise and correct grammar and vocabulary. Use linking words to connect points and give one clear specific example. Fix errors ("it loves plans" unclear → "it disrupts plans") and avoid repetition. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: Being late and rude behavior make me impatient. For instance, when someone arrives late to a meeting it disrupts our plans and wastes time, and I also get annoyed if people talk over me during conversations.

提案: Good structure and clear detail. To improve, add a linking phrase and a brief result or example to show effect. Keep sentences natural and concise.

例: At first I often feel a bit overwhelmed because I know it will take a lot of time and energy; therefore, I break the task into smaller steps and make a schedule, which helps me stay focused and complete the work on time.

提案: Complete your supporting example and correct grammar. Use linking words and state a clear result of being patient. Finish the anecdote (what happened when explanation was missing) and correct "misunderstanding occur" to "misunderstandings occur."

例: Yes, it definitely does because my role requires frequent communication with colleagues and managers. For example, last week a product manager gave unclear instructions, so I stayed calm, asked clarifying questions, and avoided a costly mistake.

提案: Fix awkward phrasing and be specific. Start with a clear contrast sentence, correct expressions ("quite so tempered" is unclear), and give a concrete example of how you now behave differently. Limit to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I am more patient now than I was as a child. I used to be impulsive, but now I take a moment to think before I respond; for example, I pause to consider a solution instead of reacting angrily when a problem arises.

× I really have conflict with my colleagues because I always try to stay calm and listen carefully to my boss and colleagues during stressful situations.

✓ I really have conflicts with my colleagues because I always try to stay calm and listen carefully to my boss and colleagues during stressful situations.

The noun 'conflict' should be plural 'conflicts' to agree with the idea of repeated or multiple disagreements. Use plural when referring to more than one instance or a general countable concept. Suggestion: use 'conflicts' or rephrase to 'I often have conflicts' or 'I have conflicts sometimes'.

× I hate when people arrive late because it wastes time and it loves plans.

✓ I hate when people arrive late because it wastes time and ruins plans.

The pronoun 'it' is incorrectly used with 'loves plans'; the intended verb is 'ruin' to express that lateness spoils plans. 'It' can remain to refer to arriving late, but the verb must be appropriate. Suggestion: use 'ruins plans' or rephrase 'because being late wastes time and ruins plans.'

× Yes, it definitely does. My job involves a lot of communication with colleagues and my manager, so I often need to stay calm when misunderstanding occur.

✓ Yes, it definitely does. My job involves a lot of communication with colleagues and my manager, so I often need to stay calm when misunderstandings occur.

The noun 'misunderstanding' should be plural 'misunderstandings' to match the plural verb 'occur'. Also subject-verb agreement requires plural subject with 'occur'. Suggestion: use plural 'misunderstandings occur' or rephrase 'when there are misunderstandings.'

× For example, last week a product manager didn't explain.

✓ For example, last week a product manager didn't explain the situation clearly.

The sentence is incomplete: the verb 'explain' is transitive and requires an object (what was not explained). Add a direct object or additional information to complete the thought. Suggestion: specify what was not explained, e.g., 'didn't explain the requirements' or 'didn't explain the situation clearly.'

× Yes, I was quite so tempered and impulsive as a child, but as I grew older I became more patient and more mature.

✓ Yes, I was quite hot-tempered and impulsive as a child, but as I grew older I became more patient and more mature.

The phrase 'quite so tempered' is unidiomatic. The correct adjective is 'hot-tempered' to describe someone quick to anger. 'Quite' can be used with 'hot-tempered' (or simply 'very hot-tempered') but 'so' is unnecessary here. Suggestion: use 'hot-tempered' or 'easily temperamental' and avoid the 'quite so' combination.

× For example, I now try to stay calm and react when problems arise.

✓ For example, I now try to stay calm and to react appropriately when problems arise.

The original is acceptable, but adding 'to' before 'react' and 'appropriately' makes the parallel structure clearer and more natural. This addresses verb parallelism and adverb choice. Suggestion: maintain parallel infinitive forms 'try to stay... and to react...' or use gerunds consistently if rephrased.