Patience— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence stating whether you are patient, then briefly give one concrete reason or example. Avoid hesitations and filler words (umm, uh). Aim for 2–3 sentences and include a linking phrase (for example, because, since) to show cause.

例: Yes, I consider myself a patient person. For example, I often stay calm when helping children learn new skills, and I can repeat instructions several times without getting frustrated.

提案: Give a specific trigger and explain why it makes you impatient. Use a topic sentence followed by one or two supporting details with linking words (such as when, because, for instance). Avoid vague phrases and fill pauses.

例: I feel impatient when people are consistently late, because it wastes my time and disrupts my plans. For instance, if a colleague arrives late to a meeting, I have to repeat information and we lose productivity.

提案: Structure the answer with a clear opinion and specific reasons or an example. Reduce repetition and correct grammar (e.g., 'it's a waste of time'). Use linking words (because, therefore) and keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: I usually feel frustrated when I have to work on a task for a very long time because it feels like a waste of time if there is no progress. Therefore, I try to break large tasks into smaller steps to stay motivated and efficient.

提案: Give a clear, well-structured response: state your job and explicitly explain how patience is required with specific examples. Fix grammar (e.g., 'I work as an early childhood educator') and avoid redundancy. Use cohesive devices (for example, therefore, because) and keep within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes. I work as an early childhood educator, so patience is essential in my job. For example, I often need to calmly repeat instructions, resolve conflicts when children hit each other, and listen carefully to their needs so they feel secure and learn better.

提案: Answer with a clear comparison: state whether you are more patient now and give specific reasons or an anecdote from childhood. Use correct grammar (e.g., 'I was the opposite' and 'I used to cry a lot') and linking words (when, because, whereas). Keep it concise and avoid fillers.

例: Yes, I am more patient now than when I was a child. As a child I used to cry and insist on getting what I wanted, but with experience and responsibility at work I have learned to stay calm and think before reacting.

× Yes, I am a patient person because a lot of times I have seen that umm uh.

✓ Yes, I am a patient person because I have often seen that.

The original sentence is wordy and contains filler words. 'A lot of times' is better expressed as 'often' and 'I have seen that' needs a clear object or clause; simplifying to 'I have often seen that' improves clarity and sentence structure.

× Well, sometimes there are situations when I, uh, feel impatient. Like whenever.

✓ Well, sometimes there are situations when I feel impatient, for example when things take too long.

The fragment 'Like whenever.' is incomplete. Provide a full clause to complete the thought. Remove filler 'uh' and give a clear example to complete the sentence.

× Uh, to be honest, I don't feel good because, uh, for me, it's really time wasting to do a thing for a long time.

✓ To be honest, I don't feel good because, for me, it is really a waste of time to do something for a long time.

'Time wasting' is awkward as an adjective; use the noun phrase 'a waste of time'. 'Do a thing' is unnatural; use 'do something'. Expand contractions consistently and remove fillers. Tense is present and should remain present.

× Because if a thing, if everything is on time, we can make it more easier for us to finish anything.

✓ If everything is on time, it is easier for us to finish tasks.

Beginning with 'Because' creates a sentence fragment; rephrase to a full conditional sentence. 'Make it more easier' is incorrect (double comparative); use 'it is easier'. 'Anything' is too broad; 'tasks' is clearer.

× But if the.

✓ But if things are not on time, we cannot finish easily.

'But if the.' is an incomplete fragment. Provide a full clause explaining the consequence when things are not on time.

× Yeah, umm, I work as a easy early childhood educator in a degree.

✓ Yes, I work as an early childhood educator and I have a degree.

Use the article 'an' before a vowel sound ('easy' would take 'an', but 'easy early childhood educator' is awkward). The intended meaning seems to be holding a degree; rephrase to 'I have a degree'. Remove filler words.

× So it's really important for me to stay patient with the kids because I know their kids.

✓ So it's really important for me to stay patient with the kids because I know they are children and may not understand what to do.

'I know their kids' is incorrect and unclear. Use 'they are children' or 'they may not know what to do' to express the idea. Clarify pronoun reference.

× They don't know what to do or what to, not what not to.

✓ They don't know what to do or what not to do.

The original repeats and confuses the negation. Correct structure is 'what to do or what not to do.'

× So I always have to stay patient with them.

✓ So I always have to be patient with them.

'Stay patient' is understandable but 'be patient' is more natural in this context.

× I have to listen them calmly.

✓ I have to listen to them calmly.

The verb 'listen' requires the preposition 'to' when followed by an object: 'listen to someone.'

× Sometimes they are hitting each other. I have.

✓ Sometimes they hit each other.

Use the simple present 'hit' for habitual actions rather than the present continuous 'are hitting'. The fragment 'I have.' is incomplete and should be removed or completed; likely unnecessary here.

× Uh, yeah. So now I know like it's important to a patient, but when I was a child, I was completely opposite.

✓ Yes. Now I know it is important to be patient, but when I was a child I was completely the opposite.

'Important to a patient' is incorrect; use 'important to be patient.' 'Completely opposite' needs the definite article 'the opposite.' Remove filler 'like' and contractions for clarity.

× I were, I used to cry for twice.

✓ I would cry twice,

'I were' is incorrect; use 'I was' or restructure. 'Cry for twice' is ungrammatical; likely intended 'I would cry twice' or 'I used to cry a lot.' If referring to repeated past habit, use 'I would cry twice' or 'I used to cry often.'

× Uh, I always ask my parents, I want this and this.

✓ I always asked my parents, 'I want this and that.'

When reporting past habitual actions, use past tense 'asked.' Also, when quoting requests, use 'this and that' rather than repeating 'this and this.'

× And if they say no, uh, I remember.

✓ And if they said no, I would remember and be upset.

The original mixes tenses and ends with a fragment. Maintain past tense for childhood memories: 'if they said no' and complete the consequence 'I would remember and be upset.'