Machine— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer lacks clarity and contains grammatical errors. Try to form a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, followed by specific supporting details. Avoid incomplete sentences and ensure your answer is coherent and natural. Also, keep your response within five sentences.

例: My favourite machine at home is the vacuum cleaner. Before we had it, cleaning was very tiring and time-consuming. The vacuum cleaner makes cleaning much easier and faster by simply sucking up dust and dirt. It saves me a lot of effort, especially when cleaning carpets and floors.

提案: Your answer addresses the question but is somewhat unclear and contains grammatical mistakes. Use linking words to connect your ideas logically and provide specific reasons. Also, avoid redundancy and aim for natural phrasing.

例: Yes, washing machines and sweeping machines are essential in our daily lives. They save a lot of time and effort, especially for people living in busy cities who are often tired after work. Because of these machines, household chores become much easier and quicker to complete.

提案: Your answer is relevant but could be more concise and better structured. Start with a clear topic sentence, then use linking words to explain your reasoning. Also, correct grammatical errors and improve sentence flow for naturalness.

例: It depends on the machine. If I have used it before, like a vacuum cleaner, I usually don't read the instructions when I get a new one. However, if the machine is completely new to me, I always read the instructions carefully to understand how to use it properly.

提案: Your answer conveys the main idea but contains grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Use a clear topic sentence and provide specific reasons with linking words. Also, avoid vague expressions and ensure your answer sounds natural.

例: Yes, I think it is very important to read the instructions. They help us use machines correctly and safely. Without reading them, we might misuse the machines, which could lead to accidents or damage.

× I like the vacuum cleaner the most in my home before the existence of this machine, I've always I.

✓ I like the vacuum cleaner the most in my home. Before the existence of this machine, I always found cleaning the house much more difficult.

The original sentence is confusing and incomplete, lacking proper sentence structure. It combines two ideas without clear separation, causing ambiguity. Splitting into two sentences clarifies the meaning and corrects the structure.

× Cleaning the house is much more difficult and vacuum cleaner makes this easier by just simply.

✓ Cleaning the house was much more difficult, and the vacuum cleaner makes this easier by working simply.

The phrase 'by just simply' is incomplete and unclear. Adding 'working simply' clarifies the method. Also, 'cleaning' as a gerund is correct, but the sentence needs a clearer verb phrase to complete the idea.

× Yeah, they are essentials in our life without their labor saving machines which reduce the time of spending to households as nowadays people living in cities were very tired after work and these machines really helps.

✓ Yeah, they are essential in our lives. Without these labor-saving machines, which reduce the time spent on household chores, people living in cities nowadays would be very tired after work, and these machines really help.

'Essentials' should be 'essential' as an adjective describing 'they'. 'Time of spending to households' is incorrect; it should be 'time spent on household chores'. 'Helps' should be 'help' to agree with plural subject 'machines'. The sentence is also split for clarity.

× If the machine I have used already before like a vacuum cleaner, my home already have it before and just changing a new one then I won't read the instructions.

✓ If I have already used the machine before, like a vacuum cleaner that my home already has and I am just changing to a new one, then I won't read the instructions.

The original sentence misuses prepositions and has awkward phrasing. 'Have used already before' is redundant; 'already used before' is better. 'My home already have it' should be 'my home already has it' for subject-verb agreement. 'Changing a new one' should be 'changing to a new one'.

× However, if it is a brand new machine to me that I have never used its function before, I read.

✓ However, if it is a brand new machine to me that I have never used before, I read the instructions.

The phrase 'used its function before' is awkward and incorrect. It is better to say 'used before'. Also, the sentence ends abruptly; adding 'the instructions' completes the thought.

× Certainly instructions guide us how to use these machines correctly, and using the machines may result a terrible outcome like exploring, so I think we should.

✓ Certainly, instructions guide us on how to use these machines correctly, and using the machines incorrectly may result in a terrible outcome like an explosion, so I think we should read them carefully.

The sentence is incomplete and contains errors: 'result a terrible outcome' should be 'result in a terrible outcome'. 'Exploring' is incorrect; the intended word is 'explosion'. The sentence ends abruptly; adding 'read them carefully' completes the idea.