Machine— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: In your answer, try to use more natural and grammatically correct sentences. Avoid redundancy and improve sentence structure for clarity. For example, instead of 'It takes my time less, but clean very properly,' say 'It saves me time and cleans thoroughly.' Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: My favourite machine at home is the vacuum cleaner because it helps me clean the floors quickly and efficiently. For example, it saves me time when cleaning the bedrooms, hall, and kitchen. Therefore, I find it very useful and convenient.

提案: Your answer lacks clarity and coherence. Try to organize your ideas logically and use linking words. Also, avoid filler words like 'uh' and incomplete sentences. For example, explain why these machines are important and how they save time.

例: Yes, I believe washing machines and sweeping machines are very important because they help us clean our homes efficiently. They save a lot of time and effort compared to cleaning manually, which makes household chores easier.

提案: Your answer needs clearer sentence structure and more precise vocabulary. Avoid confusing phrases like 'went to office' and explain the benefits of reading instructions more clearly. Use linking words to connect your ideas.

例: Yes, I always read the instructions before using a machine because they provide important information. For instance, the instructions tell me how to operate the machine safely, how long to use it, and how to save electricity.

提案: Your answer contains contradictions and incomplete sentences. Avoid saying 'poor information' if you mean useful information. Also, complete your sentences and use linking words to explain why reading instructions is important.

例: Yes, I think it is very important to read the instructions before using a machine because they provide useful information on how to operate it correctly. For example, the manual explains when and how long to use the machine, which helps prevent damage and accidents. It also includes important safety precautions.

× It's helped me clean the floor quickly and efficiently, especially in the three bedrooms and hall and the kitchens.

✓ It has helped me clean the floor quickly and efficiently, especially in the three bedrooms, the hall, and the kitchen.

The sentence incorrectly uses 'kitchens' in plural when referring to a single home; it should be singular 'kitchen'. Also, 'hall' should be preceded by 'the' for clarity. Correcting plural forms to singular where appropriate improves grammatical accuracy.

× It takes my time less, but clean very properly.

✓ It takes less of my time, but cleans very properly.

The phrase 'takes my time less' is awkward and incorrect. The correct expression is 'takes less of my time'. Also, 'clean' should be 'cleans' to agree with the singular subject 'it'.

× And this way, I like it so much, these machines, it's really useful.

✓ In this way, I like it so much; this machine is really useful.

The sentence mixes singular and plural pronouns incorrectly. 'These machines' conflicts with 'it'. Since the subject is singular 'vacuum cleaner', 'this machine' and 'it' should be used consistently.

× Yes, definitely I do things that both of these machines are so much important for cleaning and for, uh, for the less time to manage and everything in the last time it's cleaned properly and very good way.

✓ Yes, definitely. I think both of these machines are very important for cleaning because they save time and ensure everything is cleaned properly and efficiently.

The original sentence is confusing and ungrammatical. It lacks clear structure and proper connectors. Rewriting it with clear subject-verb agreement and logical flow improves clarity.

× Umm, and the most important thing is the sweeping is electronical machine and.

✓ Umm, and the most important thing is that the sweeper is an electrical machine.

'Electronical' is incorrect; the correct adjective is 'electrical'. Also, the sentence is incomplete and needs 'that' to introduce the clause and 'an' before 'electrical machine'.

× Yes I do read the instructions before using the machine because it has a lot of information and knowledge.

✓ Yes, I do read the instructions before using the machine because they contain a lot of information and knowledge.

'It' incorrectly refers to 'instructions' which is plural; the correct pronoun is 'they'. Also, 'contain' is better than 'has' for information.

× It makes it easy for me that things to or the machine to how to use it and when to use it, for how long I can use it and went to office.

✓ They make it easy for me to understand how and when to use the machine, for how long I can use it, and when to turn it off.

The sentence has unclear pronoun references and awkward phrasing. 'It' should be 'they' referring to 'instructions'. Also, 'went to office' is unclear and likely incorrect; 'turn it off' fits the context better.

× It's also good for electric.

✓ It is also good for electrical safety.

The phrase 'good for electric' is incomplete and unclear. Adding 'electrical safety' clarifies the meaning.

× Yes, I always read the instruction before using a machine because they provide poor information and knowledge how to operate exactly and effectively.

✓ Yes, I always read the instructions before using a machine because they provide important information and knowledge on how to operate it correctly and effectively.

'Instruction' should be plural 'instructions'. Also, 'poor information' contradicts the intended meaning; it should be 'important information'. The phrase is restructured for clarity.

× For example, the manual explain when and how long I should I should use the machine, which help prevent damage or accidents.

✓ For example, the manual explains when and how long I should use the machine, which helps prevent damage or accidents.

The verb 'explain' should be 'explains' to agree with singular subject 'manual'. The repeated phrase 'I should' is redundant and removed. 'Help' should be 'helps' to agree with singular 'which'.

× Is also include a safety precaution specially for.

✓ It also includes safety precautions, especially for users.

The sentence is incomplete and lacks a subject. Adding 'It' as subject and completing the sentence improves clarity and grammatical correctness.