Machine— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is somewhat repetitive and contains grammatical errors that affect clarity. Try to make your response more concise and directly answer the question with a clear topic sentence, followed by specific supporting details. Avoid repeating words and ensure correct sentence structure.

例: My favorite machine at home is my mobile phone. It helps me study, chat, and call my loved ones easily. I rely on it for many daily tasks, making it an essential device for me.

提案: Your answer has several repetitions and unclear phrases that reduce its effectiveness. Focus on delivering a clear topic sentence and use linking words to connect your ideas logically. Also, avoid redundancy and ensure your sentences are grammatically correct.

例: Yes, washing and sweeping machines are very important. They save time and effort by automating household chores, allowing people to focus on other tasks. For example, a washing machine helps avoid the tiring process of hand washing clothes.

提案: Your answer is understandable but contains some grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing. Try to organize your response with a clear topic sentence and supporting details, using linking words to improve coherence. Also, avoid filler words and repetitions.

例: I usually don't read the instruction manuals when I buy a new machine. Instead, I watch YouTube videos that show the correct way to use the device. This method feels more convenient and easier to understand than reading long booklets.

提案: Your answer has some repetition and unclear expressions. To improve, provide a clear opinion with supporting reasons, use linking words for coherence, and avoid repeating words. Make sure your sentences are complete and grammatically correct.

例: I believe reading instruction manuals can help understand a machine briefly. However, YouTube tutorials offer practical and detailed guidance, which many people find easier to follow. Therefore, watching videos can be a better alternative to reading manuals.

× there are numerous machine and we are surrounded always science advancement

✓ there are numerous machines and we are always surrounded by scientific advancements

The noun 'machine' should be plural 'machines' to agree with 'numerous'. Also, 'surrounded always science advancement' is incorrect; it should be 'always surrounded by scientific advancements' to use the correct preposition and plural form.

× we are surrounded always science advancement

✓ we are always surrounded by scientific advancements

The preposition 'by' is required after 'surrounded' to indicate what surrounds us. Also, 'science advancement' should be plural and adjective form 'scientific' is more appropriate.

× one of the favorite advancement which is machine that is around me is my mobile phone

✓ one of the favorite advancements which is a machine that is around me is my mobile phone

'Advancement' should be plural 'advancements' because it is preceded by 'one of the'. Also, 'a machine' is needed to specify the noun.

× I can do all my stuff whether whether it is up to study or good to chat or call with my loved ones

✓ I can do all my stuff whether it is studying, chatting, or calling my loved ones

The phrase 'up to study' and 'good to chat or call with' are incorrect. The correct gerund forms 'studying', 'chatting', and 'calling' should be used without prepositions here.

× I can do all this, all this with this

✓ I can do all this with it

The pronoun 'this' is repeated unnecessarily and 'with this' is unclear. 'With it' correctly refers to the mobile phone.

× washing machines and sweeping machines are important

✓ washing machines and sweeping machines are important

This sentence is correct; no correction needed.

× one can one can avoid hand washing and load their clothes in that washing machine

✓ one can avoid hand washing and load his or her clothes into that washing machine

The pronoun 'their' is plural and should be replaced with 'his or her' to agree with the singular 'one'. Also, 'load in' should be 'load into'.

× load their clothes in that washing machine

✓ load their clothes into that washing machine

The correct preposition to use with 'load' in this context is 'into' to indicate movement inside the machine.

× and moreover can do their and focus on their other task apart from watching and doing watching by clothes by their

✓ and moreover can do their other tasks and focus on them apart from washing clothes by hand

The original sentence is unclear and contains pronoun misuse. 'Their other task' should be plural 'tasks', and 'watching' is incorrect; it should be 'washing'. Also, 'by their' is incorrect; 'by hand' is appropriate.

× apart from watching and doing watching by clothes by their

✓ apart from washing clothes by hand

The phrase 'watching and doing watching by clothes by their' is incorrect. The correct phrase is 'washing clothes by hand'.

× I don't read any instructions when I purchase a new machine and I am very dependent on the YouTube videos which told the perfect and the correct manner to how to correct manner how to use that particular machine

✓ I don't read any instructions when I purchase a new machine and I am very dependent on YouTube videos which tell the perfect and correct way how to use that particular machine

The verb 'told' is past tense but the context requires present tense 'tell' because the videos generally provide instructions. Also, 'the perfect and the correct manner to how to correct manner' is redundant and incorrect; 'the perfect and correct way how to use' is better.

× I am very dependent on the YouTube videos which told the perfect and the correct manner to how to correct manner how to use that particular machine

✓ I am very dependent on YouTube videos which tell the perfect and correct way to use that particular machine

The phrase 'to how to correct manner how to use' is incorrect and redundant. It should be simplified to 'way to use'.

× And it I it feel really, really convenient for me and that I had to not to read that booklet of 10 to 12 pages

✓ And it feels really convenient for me and I don't have to read that booklet of 10 to 12 pages

The phrase 'it I it feel' is incorrect; it should be 'it feels'. Also, 'I had to not to read' is incorrect; it should be 'I don't have to read' to express present convenience.

× Apart from that I prefer to watch

✓ Apart from that, I prefer to watch videos

The sentence is incomplete; adding 'videos' clarifies what is preferred to watch. Also, a comma after 'Apart from that' improves readability.

× reading reading instruction manual can be a good way to glance about that particular machine

✓ reading the instruction manual can be a good way to get an overview of that particular machine

'Reading reading' is repetitive; 'the instruction manual' requires the definite article 'the'. 'Glance about' is incorrect; 'get an overview of' is more appropriate.

× YouTube tutorials are full of instruction and tell us about how to use the machine in a particular in a particular and practical manner

✓ YouTube tutorials are full of instructions and tell us how to use the machine in a particular and practical manner

'Instruction' should be plural 'instructions'. The phrase 'tell us about how to use' is better as 'tell us how to use'. The repeated phrase 'in a particular' should appear only once.

× And one person can avoid these reading panel books and easily fill these

✓ And one person can avoid reading these manuals and easily follow the instructions

The phrase 'reading panel books' is incorrect; 'reading these manuals' is better. 'Fill these' is unclear; 'follow the instructions' is appropriate. Also, 'and' is correctly used here.