Machine— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is good but needs improvement in sentence structure and clarity. Avoid redundancy and grammatical errors. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly. Also, try to keep your answer within 5 sentences and make sure each sentence is clear and natural.

例: My favourite machine at home is the coffee maker because I love starting my day with a fresh cup of coffee. It is more convenient and cost-effective than buying coffee outside. Additionally, I enjoy experimenting with different coffee beans and flavours. The coffee maker fits perfectly in my kitchen and has become an essential part of my morning routine.

提案: Your answer addresses the question well but contains some repetition and minor grammatical errors. Use linking words like 'for instance' or 'therefore' to improve coherence. Also, try to be more specific in your examples and avoid vague phrases like 'and more'.

例: Yes, I believe washing machines and sweeping machines are very important because they reduce human effort and save a lot of time. For instance, washing clothes used to be a hectic and time-consuming task, but now you simply put clothes in the machine and start it. Therefore, these machines make household chores much easier and more efficient.

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant but contains minor errors such as 'Jean' instead of 'Yes' and singular/plural inconsistencies. Use linking words like 'for example' and 'therefore' appropriately. Also, try to avoid small mistakes to make your answer more natural.

例: Yes, I always read the instructions before using a machine because they explain how to operate it safely and efficiently. For example, when I bought a coffee maker, the user manual helped me learn different settings and avoid accidents. Therefore, reading instructions helps to prolong the machine's lifespan and ensures safety.

提案: Your answer is relevant but a bit repetitive and lacks linking words. Try to combine ideas using connectors like 'because' and 'which helps to'. Also, avoid repeating the same points and try to add variety in vocabulary.

例: Yes, I think it is very important to read the instructions because they help you learn different settings, which prevents damage and ensures the machine's safety and longevity.

× My favorite machine in my home is coffee maker as I love to start my day with a cup of coffee and find it more convenient and cost effective as compared to buying coffee outside.

✓ My favorite machine in my home is the coffee maker as I love to start my day with a cup of coffee and find it more convenient and cost effective compared to buying coffee outside.

The phrase 'coffee maker' needs the definite article 'the' because it refers to a specific machine in the home. Also, 'as compared to' is better simplified to 'compared to' for clarity and correctness.

× I eat perfectly fits in my kitchen and become part of essential, become an essential part of my morning routine.

✓ It perfectly fits in my kitchen and becomes an essential part of my morning routine.

The original sentence has a subject-verb agreement issue and missing subject. 'I eat' is incorrect here; it should be 'It' referring to the coffee maker. Also, 'become' should be 'becomes' to agree with the singular subject 'It'. The phrase 'part of essential' is incomplete and corrected to 'an essential part'.

× I think washing machines and sweeping machines are very important because they reduce human efforts and saves a lot of time.

✓ I think washing machines and sweeping machines are very important because they reduce human effort and save a lot of time.

The plural subject 'washing machines and sweeping machines' requires the plural verb 'save' instead of 'saves'. Also, 'human efforts' is better expressed as 'human effort' in singular uncountable form.

× For example, washing used to washing clothes used to be a hectic and time consuming process, but nowadays you just have to put your clothes in the machine and start it.

✓ For example, washing clothes used to be a hectic and time-consuming process, but nowadays you just have to put your clothes in the machine and start it.

The phrase 'washing used to washing clothes' is redundant and incorrect. It should be 'washing clothes used to be'. Also, 'time consuming' should be hyphenated as 'time-consuming' when used as an adjective.

× Jean yes, I read the instruction before using a machine because it explains how to use it safely and efficiently.

✓ Yes, I read the instructions before using a machine because they explain how to use it safely and efficiently.

'Jean yes' seems to be a typo and should be 'Yes'. 'Instruction' should be plural 'instructions' because manuals usually contain multiple instructions. The pronoun 'it' referring to 'instructions' should be 'they' to agree in number.

× For example, when I bought a coffee maker, the user manual helped me to learn different settings and avoid accident.

✓ For example, when I bought a coffee maker, the user manual helped me learn different settings and avoid accidents.

The phrase 'avoid accident' needs to be plural 'accidents' because it refers to any possible accident. Also, 'helped me to learn' is better as 'helped me learn' for natural English usage.

× I believe reading instructions helps to prolong the lifespan of a machine and ensure safety.

✓ I believe reading instructions helps to prolong the lifespan of a machine and ensures safety.

The verb 'helps' is singular, so the following verb should be 'ensures' to maintain parallel structure and subject-verb agreement.

× Yes, I think it is. It is very important to read the instructions because you can learn different settings and avoid any damage and it can also affect the lifespan of a machine and safety.

✓ Yes, I think it is. It is very important to read the instructions because you can learn different settings, avoid any damage, and it can also affect the lifespan of a machine and safety.

The sentence is a run-on and needs commas to separate ideas clearly. Adding commas after 'settings' and 'damage' improves readability and sentence structure.