Machine— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to avoid redundancy and filler words like 'uh' and 'but'. Start with a clear topic sentence and provide specific reasons with linking words to make your answer more natural and effective.

例: My favourite machine at home is the washing machine because it saves both my time and money. For example, it cleans clothes quickly and uses less water compared to hand washing.

提案: Avoid vague phrases like 'it varies' unless you explain clearly. Use linking words to connect ideas and provide specific examples to support your opinion.

例: Yes, I think washing and sweeping machines are very important because they save time and effort. For instance, with busy schedules, these machines help people keep their homes clean without spending too much time.

提案: Avoid filler words like 'uh' and unclear phrases such as 'drill the instructions'. Use clear and natural expressions and provide a concise explanation.

例: Yes, I usually read the instructions when I use a new machine or if it has advanced features. This helps me avoid damaging it and use it correctly.

提案: Try to make your sentences more concise and avoid repetition. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly and provide specific reasons.

例: Yes, I believe reading instructions is important because it helps people understand how to use machines properly. Therefore, they can operate them safely and efficiently.

× But yes, I really like washing machine.

✓ But yes, I really like the washing machine.

The noun 'washing machine' is a singular, countable noun and requires a definite article 'the' when referring to a specific item. Omitting the article makes the sentence grammatically incorrect.

× But because, uh, it's uh, saves my money as well as my time.

✓ Because it saves my money as well as my time.

Starting a sentence with 'But because' is redundant and incorrect. 'Because' alone is sufficient to introduce the reason. Also, 'it's saves' is incorrect; it should be 'it saves'.

× If we talk about the washing machines, yes, it's very important because it saves the people time as well as money.

✓ If we talk about washing machines, yes, they are very important because they save people time as well as money.

The subject 'washing machines' is plural, so the verb and pronouns must also be plural ('they are', 'they save'). Also, 'the people' is unnecessary; 'people' alone is correct.

× They did not have enough time to wash and sweep the home.

✓ They do not have enough time to wash and sweep the home.

The sentence refers to a current situation, so present tense 'do not have' is appropriate instead of past tense 'did not have'.

× if the machine is new or any advancement of technology, so that time I have to drill the instructions because I do not want to damage machine.

✓ If the machine is new or has any technological advancements, at that time I have to read the instructions because I do not want to damage the machine.

'Advancement of technology' should be 'technological advancements'. 'So that time' is incorrect; 'at that time' is correct. 'Drill the instructions' is incorrect; 'read the instructions' is appropriate. Also, 'damage machine' needs the article 'the'.

× So it's very easy if we read the instructions, so we can easily follow and can start the machines.

✓ So it's very easy if we read the instructions; we can easily follow them and start the machines.

The pronoun 'them' is needed to refer back to 'instructions'. Also, the sentence is better connected with a semicolon or conjunction to avoid run-on.