Machine— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 답변이 자연스럽지 않고 문법적으로 부정확하며, 중복된 표현이 많습니다. 명확한 주제 문장과 구체적인 이유를 간결하게 제시하는 연습이 필요합니다.

例: My favourite machine at home is the air vaporizer because it helps to add moisture to the dry air during this season, which prevents health problems caused by dryness.

提案: 답변이 명확하지 않고 문장이 완성되지 않았으며, 중복된 단어 사용이 많습니다. 질문에 직접 답하고, 이유를 구체적이고 논리적으로 연결하는 연습이 필요합니다.

例: Yes, washing machines and sweeping machines are very important because they help us save time and effort in daily household chores, making our lives easier.

提案: 답변이 다소 중복되고 어색한 표현이 있습니다. 간결하고 자연스러운 문장으로 자신의 습관과 이유를 명확히 표현하는 연습이 필요합니다.

例: Yes, I always read the manuals of electronic devices because they explain how to use the machines effectively and safely.

提案: 답변에 중복과 어색한 표현이 있으며, 문장이 다소 길고 복잡합니다. 명확한 이유와 결과를 간결하게 연결하는 연습이 필요합니다.

例: Yes, I think reading instructions is important because it helps me use and maintain the machine properly, which saves time and prevents damage.

× I would say the air vaporizer and because why is this important? Because is because it is so dry in this season.

✓ I would say the air vaporizer, and the reason why it is important is because it is so dry in this season.

The original sentence has a confusing structure with repeated conjunctions and misplaced question format. The correction clarifies the sentence by properly connecting ideas and removing unnecessary question form, improving coherence and grammatical correctness.

× So the dryness came to all of the diseases.

✓ So the dryness leads to all kinds of diseases.

The phrase 'came to all of the diseases' is incorrect because 'came to' is not the right preposition to express causation. Using 'leads to' correctly indicates that dryness causes diseases.

× Do you think washing machines and sweeping machines are important? Student: Yes, it is very important because, uh, homemading, uh, work is so much overwhelming because, because they are so.

✓ Yes, they are very important because homemaking work is so overwhelming.

The pronoun 'it' does not agree with the plural subject 'washing machines and sweeping machines.' Changing 'it' to 'they' corrects the subject-pronoun agreement. Also, 'homemading' is corrected to 'homemaking' for proper noun form.

× Do it in a daily life, so they should be helping us.

✓ We do it daily, so these machines should help us.

The original sentence is awkward and unclear. 'Do it in a daily life' is not idiomatic. The correction uses a clearer subject and verb structure and proper modal verb usage for suggestion.

× Yes, I personally, uh, am a person that reads the manual of the electronic devices and that tells me uh, how, how this machine is going to work and a very effective way.

✓ Yes, I personally read the manuals of electronic devices, and they tell me how this machine works in a very effective way.

The original sentence has redundant phrases and awkward placement of adverbs and conjunctions. The correction streamlines the sentence, placing adverbs correctly and improving clarity.

× Yes, I think I I prefer reading it because it tells me not only to, uh, play the machine, but also to maintain, and that saves me a lot of time when it's broken.

✓ Yes, I think I prefer reading the instructions because they tell me not only how to operate the machine but also how to maintain it, which saves me a lot of time when it breaks down.

The pronoun 'it' is ambiguous and 'play the machine' is incorrect; 'operate the machine' is appropriate. Also, 'maintain' needs an object. The correction clarifies pronoun references and uses correct verbs.