Machine— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to use more varied vocabulary and avoid repeating simple words like 'like'. Also, add linking words to make your answer more coherent. For example, you can say 'I particularly enjoy my fridge because it stores various items such as chocolate, ice cream, and fresh fruits. Whenever I open it, I often grab some snacks, which brings me a little happiness in my daily life.'

例: I particularly enjoy my fridge because it stores various items such as chocolate, ice cream, and fresh fruits. Whenever I open it, I often grab some snacks, which brings me a little happiness in my daily life.

提案: Your answer is clear but can be improved by using linking words and more precise vocabulary. Instead of 'help a lot', you can say 'significantly improve efficiency'. Also, try to avoid redundancy by combining sentences smoothly.

例: Yes, I believe both washing machines and sweeping machines are important because they significantly improve efficiency. For instance, washing clothes by hand is time-consuming due to multiple steps, so using machines saves a lot of time and effort.

提案: Try to avoid repeating the same idea and improve sentence structure. Use linking words like 'not only... but also' correctly and ensure subject-verb agreement. For example, 'Not only do instructions help us use machines correctly, but they also prevent dangers caused by misuse.'

例: Yes, I always read the instructions before using a machine. Not only do they help me operate the machine correctly, but they also prevent potential dangers caused by misuse.

提案: Improve grammar and clarity by correcting subject-verb agreement and word choice. For example, 'Moreover, by following the guidelines, the machine functions properly and reduces the risk of accidents caused by misuse.' Also, avoid using 'drills' which is not appropriate here.

例: Yes, reading instructions is very important because it helps prevent damage to the machine. Moreover, by following the guidelines, the machine functions properly and reduces the risk of accidents caused by misuse.

× I think it contributes small happiness in my daily life.

✓ I think it contributes a small amount of happiness in my daily life.

The phrase 'small happiness' is incorrect because 'happiness' is an uncountable noun and requires a quantifier like 'a small amount of' to be grammatically correct. Using 'a small amount of happiness' properly quantifies the uncountable noun.

× Not only it can help us to use the machine correctly, but also avoid some danger that caused by misuse of a machine.

✓ Not only can it help us to use the machine correctly, but also avoid some danger caused by misuse of a machine.

The sentence structure with 'Not only' requires inversion of the auxiliary verb and subject ('can it' instead of 'it can'). Also, 'that caused by misuse' should be 'caused by misuse' without 'that' to be grammatically correct. These corrections improve sentence clarity and grammatical accuracy.

× Moreover, following the guidelines and drills, the machine function properly and reduce the risk of accidents caused by misuse.

✓ Moreover, by following the guidelines and drills, the machine functions properly and reduces the risk of accidents caused by misuse.

The original sentence lacks a proper subject and verb agreement. Adding 'by' before 'following' clarifies the action, and 'machine' as singular requires verbs 'functions' and 'reduces' in singular form to agree with the subject. This correction fixes sentence structure and subject-verb agreement.