Machine— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers (uh, um), correct grammar (e.g., "I live alone" not "I live in bachelor"), and add one specific detail about how you use the fridge. Use 2–4 sentences with linking words for coherence.

例: My favourite machine at home is the refrigerator because I live alone and need to store food for the week. It helps me plan meals and prevents food from spoiling, so I save time and money.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence, avoid repetition, and explain clearly with one or two specific reasons. Use linking words (for example, because, and) and finish the thought. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I think washing machines and vacuum cleaners are important because they save a lot of time in daily chores. For example, a washing machine cleans clothes quickly and a vacuum removes dust that can cause allergies, so both improve hygiene and free up time.

提案: Start with a clear statement and correct word choice ("read the manual" not "reach the manual"). Remove hesitations and repeat words. Add a specific example of information you check in the manual. Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I always read the manual when I buy a new machine because it explains important safety steps and basic settings. For example, the washing-machine manual shows which program to use for different fabrics, which helps me avoid damaging clothes.

提案: Respond with a concise main idea, correct grammar (e.g., "instructions" plural), avoid fillers and repetition, and give one clear reason and a short consequence. Use linking words like "because" or "so" to connect ideas.

例: Yes, reading instructions is important because they explain safe operation and correct installation. If you ignore them, you might damage the machine or risk injury, so following instructions helps protect both the device and the user.

× Uh, in my home, my favorite machine is our fridge or refrigerator because it is very helpful as I live in bachelor.

✓ Uh, in my home, my favorite machine is our fridge or refrigerator because it is very helpful since I live alone.

The phrase 'live in bachelor' is incorrect. The student intended to say they live alone or are a bachelor. Use 'live alone' for clarity. Also 'as' can be replaced with 'since' to show reason. This fixes word choice and singular/plural sense of living situation.

× So there, there are lots of things that I need to keep in fridge and that it also helped me to, uh, plan out my whole week or whole months, uh, meal.

✓ So there are lots of things that I need to keep in the fridge, and it also helps me plan out my meals for the week or month.

Problems: missing article 'the' before 'fridge' and tense/person inconsistency ('helped' should be present 'helps'). 'Whole months' should be 'month' or 'months' with correct phrasing; 'plan out my whole week or whole months meal' is ungrammatical. Corrected to 'plan out my meals for the week or month' for clarity and grammatical agreement.

× So it is the most favorite thing.

✓ So it is my favorite appliance.

The phrase 'most favorite' is redundant and awkward. Use 'favorite' alone. 'Thing' is vague; 'appliance' is more appropriate. This improves word choice and sentence structure.

× Yeah, it's very helpful because it requires so many time of our daily, daily routine and also it's very, uh, it's very helpful for our health also.

✓ Yeah, it's very helpful because it saves a lot of time in our daily routine, and it's also good for our health.

'Requires so many time' is incorrect; appliances usually 'save time' not 'require time'. 'So many time' mixes countable/uncountable issues. Replaced with 'a lot of time' and corrected repetition and awkward phrasing.

× I think so it is important to have this, but if we don't have that or don't.

✓ I think it is important to have them, but if we don't, we can manage without them.

Original sentence is incomplete and unclear. 'This' should be pluralized to 'them' when referring to washing and sweeping machines. Added a completion 'we can manage without them' to make a full coherent sentence.

× Yeah, I always try to reach the manual because there is lots of things that I could not understand even when I got the machine or get the machine.

✓ Yeah, I always try to read the manual because there are lots of things I don't understand even when I get a new machine.

Problems: 'reach the manual' is incorrect verb choice; 'read' is correct. 'There is lots of things' should be 'there are lots of things' (subject-verb agreement). Tense inconsistency 'could not understand even when I got the machine or get the machine' corrected to present habitual 'don't understand even when I get a new machine.'

× So I need to read the manual for that and it all it it it get me a clear picture of how how to use this.

✓ So I need to read the manual for that, and it gives me a clear picture of how to use it.

Remove filler repetition. Use correct verb 'gives' (present simple for habitual action). Replace 'how to use this' with 'how to use it' and fix article usage and sentence flow.

× Yes, definitely it is very important to read the instruction.

✓ Yes, definitely it is very important to read the instructions.

'Instruction' as countable in this context should be plural 'instructions' or use 'the instruction manual.' Using 'instructions' is natural when referring to usage guidance.

× Cause without knowing anything about any machine, yeah, we cannot be uh, open it or we cannot be install it.

✓ Because without knowing anything about a machine, we cannot open it or install it.

Incorrect auxiliary 'be' with verbs 'open' and 'install' is unnecessary. Use base verbs 'open' and 'install.' Also 'Cause' should be 'Because' in formal speech; use 'a machine' for indefinite reference.

× So it is important for a long term process or it can, could be harmful without knowing or switching, switching on anything.

✓ So it is important for long-term use, because it could be harmful to switch anything on without knowing how it works.

'Can, could' is redundant; choose 'could' for potential harm. 'Long term process' should be 'long-term use.' Reordered clause for clarity and corrected gerund/infinitive usage 'switch anything on' and 'without knowing how it works.'

× So instruction is very important.

✓ So instructions are very important.

Use plural 'instructions' and plural verb agreement 'are' to match. This makes the sentence grammatically correct and consistent with earlier corrections.