Machine— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid fillers (uh, because, kind of). Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail and one brief reason. Use more precise adjectives (e.g., 'convenient' or 'reliable') and remove repetition.

例: My favourite machine at home is my coffee machine because it brews fresh coffee quickly every morning. It helps me feel energetic and saves time before work, especially on busy weekdays.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence and then one clear reason with a specific example. Remove hesitations and redundant words ('imagine, imagine', 'very, very'). Use linking words for clarity.

例: Yes, I think they are essential because they save time and reduce physical effort. For example, a washing machine cleans large loads of clothes much faster than washing by hand, which is especially helpful for busy families.

提案: Good direct answer. Improve by replacing vague phrases ('some extra details that I need to reach about') with specific situations and adding a linking word to connect ideas. Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

例: It depends. If the appliance looks straightforward I usually don't read the manual, but I always read instructions when it has unfamiliar features or safety warnings, for example when setting up a new oven.

提案: Make the answer clearer and more structured: state the importance, give one concrete reason and one specific example. Avoid repetition ('in the right way', 'read it well') and refine vocabulary ('harm to your health').

例: Yes, it's important to read instructions because incorrect use can damage the device or harm you. For instance, reading dosage and usage guidelines for medications prevents dangerous side effects.

× I think it's a coffee machine 'cause I really enjoy drinking a cup of coffee in the morning because it makes me feel energetic during the day.

✓ I think it's a coffee machine because I really enjoy drinking coffee in the morning since it makes me feel energetic during the day.

Use of 'drinking a cup of coffee' is not wrong but repetitive with 'coffee'; more natural is 'drinking coffee'. Also replace informal ' 'cause' with 'because' and duplicate 'because' with 'since' to avoid repetition; this relates to gerund usage and style rather than grammar form.

× And, uh, I can imagine my life with such comfortable, uh, item as a coffee machine because, because it makes coffee really fast and, uh, kind of delicious.

✓ And I can imagine my life with such a comfortable item as a coffee machine because it makes coffee really quickly and quite delicious.

Use 'a' before 'comfortable item' (article error but handled here with pronoun/determiner correction) and replace adverb 'really fast' with adverb 'really quickly' to modify verb 'makes'. 'Kind of delicious' is informal; 'quite delicious' is clearer. Also remove filler sounds. This mainly corrects pronoun/determiner and adverb form.

× Yeah, of course they are very important nowadays because I can't imagine, imagine our life to, uh, make these actions with like jersey clothes manually 'cause it's very, it's very difficult for a person who has never tried it before.

✓ Yes, of course they are very important nowadays because I can't imagine doing these tasks with jersey clothes manually since it would be very difficult for a person who has never tried it before.

Replace 'imagine our life to, uh, make these actions' with 'imagine doing these tasks' to use the correct verb pattern (imagine + -ing). 'Would be' expresses hypothetical difficulty; this involves modal/conditional clarity. Also change 'jersey clothes' to 'jersey clothing' or 'jersey garments' for natural collocation.

× It depends on the situation.

✓ It depends on the situation.

No grammatical error; sentence is correct in present tense and fits context. Included to show no change needed.

× If I see that the appliance is really easy to use, I don't actually read manuals.

✓ If I see that the appliance is really easy to use, I don't usually read the manual.

Use 'usually' rather than 'actually' for frequency and 'the manual' or 'the manuals' depending on context; singular 'the manual' is more natural when referring to that appliance's instructions. This corrects pronoun/determiner and adverb choice.

× But if I see that it has some extra details that I need to reach about, of course I read.

✓ But if I see that it has some extra details I need to find out about, of course I read them.

Replace 'need to reach about' with 'need to find out about' (correct verb and preposition). Add 'them' to refer to 'details' and maintain object. This addresses incorrect preposition and verb choice.

× Yeah, of course it's very important because you can cause damage if you don't use it right in the right way.

✓ Yes, of course it's very important because you can cause damage if you don't use it in the right way.

Remove redundant 'right' before 'in the right way'. 'You can cause damage' is acceptable but 'it can cause damage' or 'you can damage it' may be clearer. This corrects awkward phrasing and redundancy.

× And especially you need read instructions for medical treatment because it can cause a harm for health if you don't read it well, I mean instructions.

✓ And especially you need to read the instructions for medical treatment because it can harm your health if you don't read them carefully.

Add 'to' after 'need' (need to read), use 'the instructions' and plural pronoun 'them' to refer back, replace 'cause a harm for health' with 'harm your health', and 'read them carefully' is natural. This corrects pronoun use, article use, and verb pattern.