Machine— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise, correct repetition and minor grammar, and add one specific detail about how you use the MacBook to show depth. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two linked supporting details. Avoid repeating words (e.g., “most most”) and use correct verb forms.

例: My favourite machine at home is my MacBook Pro. I rely on it for most of my administrative work, such as preparing tax documents and organising receipts, so it saves me a lot of time. Because it is fast and reliable, I use it daily for both work and personal tasks.

提案: Start with a direct opinion, then add specific reasons and link them coherently. Fix awkward phrasing (e.g., 'family that doesn't have a lot of family members') and use articles correctly. Keep it to two or three sentences max.

例: Yes, I think washing and sweeping machines are important at home. They save time and reduce physical strain, especially for busy households, so family members can spend more time on work or study.

提案: Give a clear direct answer, correct small grammar mistakes, and use linking words to connect reason and result. Remove fillers like 'just' where unnecessary. Be specific about what instructions you pay attention to or an example of when it helped.

例: Yes, I usually read the instructions before using a machine to avoid damaging it or using it incorrectly. For example, I always check safety warnings and proper setup steps on new kitchen appliances to prevent accidents.

提案: Start with a firm topic sentence, then give a specific reason and a brief example. Fix grammar (e.g., 'make sure the user uses the machine correctly') and avoid vague phrases like 'accidents or incidents'.

例: Absolutely — reading instructions is important for safety and correct operation. For instance, following the manufacturer's guidelines for a new blender prevents misuse and prolongs the appliance's lifespan.

× So I really do rely on my MacBook and that's why I love it.

✓ So I really do rely on my MacBook, and that's why I love it.

The original sentence is acceptable grammatically; only a comma is needed before 'and' connecting two independent clauses. This falls under sentence structure but also relates to punctuation. Suggestion: add a comma to separate independent clauses for clarity.

× It was a MacBook Pro with the M4 chip and I really do like it because I complete most most of my tax on my MacBook.

✓ It is a MacBook Pro with the M4 chip, and I really like it because I complete most of my taxes on my MacBook.

Problems: tense and redundancy and plural noun. 'It was' implies past; the speaker still owns it so 'It is' fits (present tense). 'Really do like' is acceptable but 'really like' is more natural. 'most most' is a duplication error. 'tax' should be plural 'taxes' when referring to general tax filings. Suggestion: use present tense for possessions, remove duplicate word, and use plural for general countable concept 'taxes'.

× I do think washing machines and sweeping machines are important in a family, especially for a family that doesn't have a lot of family members.

✓ I do think washing machines and vacuum cleaners are important in a family, especially for a family that doesn't have many members.

Problems: 'sweeping machines' is an unusual phrase in English; 'vacuum cleaners' is the correct common term. Repetition of 'family' is redundant; simplify. Use 'many members' rather than 'a lot of family members' for concise grammar. Also 'a family that doesn't have many members' is clearer. Suggestion: use standard vocabulary and avoid repetition.

× So that washing machine and cleaning machine may help doing chores.

✓ So the washing machine and the cleaning machine can help with doing chores.

Problems: missing articles before singular nouns and unnatural modal 'may help doing chores'. Use 'can help with doing chores' or better 'can help with chores'. Suggestion: add definite articles if referring to specific machines and use 'help with' + noun or 'help to do' + verb.

× Yeah, I typically just make sure my I read the instruction before I use any machine, just to avoid breaking them or using them incorrectly and prevent me from some danger.

✓ Yeah, I typically make sure I read the instructions before I use any machine, just to avoid breaking it or using it incorrectly and to prevent danger to myself.

Problems: extra 'my' before 'I' is an error, 'instruction' should be plural 'instructions' in this context, pronoun agreement: 'any machine' is singular so refer to it with 'it' not 'them'. 'Prevent me from some danger' is unnatural; use 'prevent danger to myself' or 'prevent injury'. Suggestion: remove extra word, match singular/plural consistently, and use natural expressions for avoiding harm.

× Yeah, absolutely. I do think it is important to read the instructions before using any machines.

✓ Yeah, absolutely. I do think it is important to read the instructions before using any machine.

Problem: 'any machines' should be singular 'any machine' when used with 'before using' to talk about an individual instance. Both are possible, but 'any machine' is more idiomatic here. Suggestion: use singular when referring to an unspecified single item.

× It just helps avoid accidents or incidents and make sure the user use the machine right and effectively.

✓ It just helps avoid accidents or incidents and makes sure the user uses the machine correctly and effectively.

Problems: parallel verb forms and subject-verb agreement. 'helps' must pair with 'makes' (or 'helps... and helps') and 'user use' should be 'user uses' (third person singular). Also 'right' is informal; use 'correctly'. Suggestion: ensure verbs agree with the subject and use adverbs 'correctly' and 'effectively' to modify 'uses'.