Machine— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct minor grammar and word-choice errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repeating ideas (e.g. ‘helps me a lot’ and ‘I love it the most’ are redundant) and correct vocabulary errors like ‘marinate...using less pie’ and article usage (‘an air fryer’ → correct).

例: I particularly like my air fryer, which I bought a few months ago. It is healthier because it cooks with very little oil, and it saves time by preheating and cooking food quickly. For example, I often use it to cook marinated paneer and chicken, which come out crispy without needing much oil.

提案: Improve grammatical accuracy (subject-verb agreement, articles) and organise ideas with linking words. Begin with a direct statement, then give specific reasons and an example. Avoid vague phrases like ‘all the stuff’ and reduce repetition of ‘help’.

例: Yes, I think they are essential. They save a lot of time and make household chores manageable for busy families. For instance, a washing machine finishes multiple loads while a robotic sweeper cleans daily, so working parents can focus on other tasks.

提案: Correct grammatical mistakes and streamline the structure. Use clearer linking words (e.g. ‘however’, ‘if not’). Avoid wordy or unclear phrases like ‘provided in the template under the in the box’. Be concise and give a clear condition and example.

例: It depends. If I already know how to use a device, I usually skip the manual; however, if it seems complicated, I read the instruction booklet that comes with the product to avoid mistakes and ensure safe use.

提案: Make the answer more coherent and correct collocations and prepositions. Replace vague phrases (‘and everything’) with specific points (safety, settings, maintenance). Use linking words to connect cause and effect (e.g. ‘because’, ‘so’).

例: Yes, it is important because the manual explains safe operating procedures, recommended settings, and basic maintenance. For example, reading the instructions can prevent damage and extend the life of the appliance.

× My favorite machine in my home is an air fryer which I bought few months back.

✓ My favorite machine at home is an air fryer which I bought a few months ago.

Use of articles: 'in my home' is unnatural; 'at home' is preferred. Missing article 'a' before 'few months' and wrong time expression 'back' should be 'ago' for past reference. Use 'a few months ago' to indicate time in the past.

× It helped me a lot and I love it the most because of its ability to provide the healthy food and marinate the dishes in just few minutes by using a little oil.

✓ It has helped me a lot and I love it the most because of its ability to provide healthy food and marinate dishes in just a few minutes using very little oil.

Tense and article/adverb issues: 'helped' can be improved to present perfect 'has helped' to show recent relevance. 'the healthy food' should be 'healthy food' (no definite article). 'in just few minutes' needs article 'a few minutes'. 'by using a little oil' is more natural as 'using very little oil'.

× For example, I use it to marinate meat and paneer using less pie.

✓ For example, I use it to marinate meat and paneer using less oil.

Word choice error: 'pie' is incorrect in this context; intended word is 'oil'. Use correct vocabulary to match meaning.

× Definitely yes. Both these machines helps to save time and are very convenient in today's hectic schedule.

✓ Definitely yes. Both these machines help to save time and are very convenient in today's hectic schedule.

Subject-verb agreement: plural subject 'machines' requires plural verb 'help' not 'helps'.

× As both the members of a family are working so it becomes very difficult to manage all the stuff at a single time.

✓ Since both members of a family are working, it becomes very difficult to manage everything at the same time.

Redundant conjunctions and wording: 'As' and 'so' together is redundant; use 'Since' or 'As' alone. 'Both the members of a family' is wordy; 'both members of a family' is concise. 'all the stuff' is informal; use 'everything'. 'at a single time' is better as 'at the same time'.

× So to help them and unload their hectic workload it helps a lot.

✓ Therefore, to help them and reduce their heavy workload, these machines are very useful.

Pronoun and clarity: 'So' at sentence start is informal; 'unload their hectic workload' is awkward. 'It helps a lot' is vague—clarify subject 'these machines are very useful'. Use 'reduce their heavy workload' for clearer meaning.

× Well, it depends. If I already have enough knowledge to operate the machine, I avoid the instructions.

✓ Well, it depends. If I already have enough knowledge to operate the machine, I skip the instructions.

Verb choice: 'avoid the instructions' is unusual; 'skip the instructions' is idiomatic. Tense is fine (present simple for habitual actions).

× But when I think when I find it something difficult, I follow the instructions and procedures provided in the template under the in the box of the equipment.

✓ But when I find something difficult, I follow the instructions and procedures provided in the manual or in the box with the equipment.

Redundancy and word order: remove repeated 'when'. 'I find it something difficult' should be 'I find something difficult'. 'Template' is incorrect word; use 'manual'. 'provided in the template under the in the box of the equipment' is ungrammatical—correct to 'in the manual or in the box with the equipment'.

× Yes, I think it is important to read the manual before operating the machine as it helps to provide ample of information on the uses at effects of the machine, equipment and its sizes and everything.

✓ Yes, I think it is important to read the manual before operating a machine, as it provides ample information on the uses and effects of the machine, its specifications, and other details.

Article and word choice issues: use 'a machine' for general statement. 'helps to provide ample of information' is incorrect; 'provides ample information' is correct. 'uses at effects' is incorrect — should be 'uses and effects'. 'equipment and its sizes and everything' is vague; use 'its specifications and other details' for clarity.