Machine— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Clarify and correct grammar (use singular/plural and pronouns), make a clear topic sentence, and add one specific detail with a linking word. Keep it within 3–4 sentences and avoid repetition.

例: My favourite machine at home is the air conditioner. In summer, it cools the apartment quickly, which is essential because Nanjing gets very hot. Also, in winter I use the heater function, so it keeps me warm and comfortable.

提案: Start with a direct topic sentence, fix grammar and redundancy, and connect ideas with linking words (e.g., because, so). Add a specific example of how they save time or effort.

例: Yes, I think they are very important because they save time and effort. For example, the washing machine cleans clothes quickly, and the robot sweeper keeps the floor tidy without much work, so my parents are less tired.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence and avoid repeating the same idea. Correct grammar (use full clauses) and give a specific example of an instruction you check. Use a linking word to introduce the example.

例: Yes, I always read the instructions before using a machine because I want to avoid mistakes. For example, I check the air conditioner manual to learn how to use the timer and different modes so I don't press the wrong button.

提案: Answer directly, avoid repeating the same sentence twice, and give a concrete reason and example. Correct grammar and use linking words (for example, therefore) to make it coherent.

例: Yes, it is important to read instructions because they help you operate machines safely and efficiently. For example, before using the washing machine I read the cycle descriptions so I choose the right setting for delicate clothes.

× I think his air conditions because in summer is very hot and I open the air machine and it makes me feel very cool and in winter is very cold in Nanjing and it makes me feel warm.

✓ I think the air conditioner is my favourite because in summer it is very hot, so I turn on the air conditioner and it makes me feel cool; in winter it is very cold in Nanjing, so it keeps me warm.

Errors: incorrect pronoun 'his' used instead of the definite article; plural/singular mismatch 'air conditions' should be singular 'air conditioner'; omitted subjects before 'is' and wrong noun 'air machine'. Suggestions: use 'the' for a specific appliance, use singular 'air conditioner', include subjects for clauses ('it is'), and use appropriate verbs ('turn on', 'keeps me warm') to make sentences grammatical and cohesive.

× Of course. Yes, because washing machines can help me wash the clothes while sweeping machines can help me sweep the floors. It both makes me make me home, become tidy and it makes me parents feel less tired.

✓ Of course. Washing machines help me wash clothes, and vacuum sweepers help me clean the floors. Both make my home tidy and make my parents feel less tired.

Errors: unnecessary 'the' before 'clothes'; awkward term 'sweeping machines'—use 'vacuum cleaners' or 'sweepers'; incorrect pronoun 'It both' should be 'Both'; repeated 'make me' and incorrect 'it makes me parents' should be 'make my parents'. Suggestions: remove unnecessary articles, use correct appliance names, ensure plural agreement with 'both' and maintain parallel structure.

× Of course yes, because if I don't read the instructions I will not know what this button used for.

✓ Of course, yes, because if I don't read the instructions I will not know what this button is used for.

Errors: missing auxiliary verb 'is' in passive construction 'is used for'; punctuation improvement. Suggestions: include the auxiliary 'is' to form the correct passive 'is used for' and add a comma after 'Of course' for clarity.

× Such as before I use the air conditions I will read the instructions to know what this button is used for.

✓ For example, before I use the air conditioner I will read the instructions to know what each button is used for.

Errors: informal 'Such as' at sentence start should be 'For example'; 'air conditions' should be singular 'air conditioner'; missing plural 'each' for 'button' to be natural. Suggestions: use 'air conditioner', choose appropriate discourse marker 'For example', and include 'each' if referring to multiple buttons.

× Of course yes, because if I don't read the instructions I will not know what this button used for.

✓ Of course, yes, because if I don't read the instructions I will not know what this button is used for.

Same error repeated: missing auxiliary 'is' in passive phrase. Suggestions: include 'is' to form 'is used for' and add comma for natural speech pacing.

× Such as before I use the washing machine I will look at the instructions because I don't know what the button used for.

✓ For example, before I use the washing machine I will look at the instructions because I don't know what the buttons are used for.

Errors: 'Such as' should be 'For example'; missing auxiliary verb and number agreement: 'the button used for' should be 'the buttons are used for' (plural) or 'what a button is used for' (singular). Suggestions: use 'For example', ensure subject-verb agreement in passive constructions ('are used for') and match singular/plural as intended.