Machine— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Reduce repetition, open with a clear topic sentence, and add one specific detail to enrich the answer. Keep it within 3–4 sentences and use a linking phrase to connect ideas.

例: My favorite machine at home is the television because it helps me relax. For example, I like to binge-watch drama series on weekends, which lets me unwind after a busy week. Because it has a smart platform, I can stream films and shows easily.

提案: Start with a direct topic sentence, avoid repetition, correct simple grammar (plural/singular and articles), and include a specific example or reason using a linking word.

例: Yes, I think both washing machines and vacuum cleaners are very important. For instance, washing machines save time by cleaning large loads quickly, and vacuum cleaners keep dust and allergens off the floor, which makes the home healthier.

提案: Be concise and avoid filler words. Use clear tense and a linking phrase to explain your routine, and correct small phrasing errors. Limit to 2–3 sentences for clarity.

例: I usually don't read the instructions; I prefer to try the machine myself. If I run into problems, I watch a short YouTube tutorial to learn the correct steps.

提案: Give a clearer opinion with one supporting reason and acknowledge a counterpoint briefly. Avoid hesitations and fragmented sentences; use linking words like 'however' or 'although'.

例: I don't usually read instructions because I've managed fine without them so far. However, I admit that reading instructions can be useful for complicated or dangerous devices to avoid mistakes.

× My my favorite machine in the house must be the TV because I love to watch a good series and movies and take a day off sometimes.

✓ My favorite machine in the house is the TV because I love to watch good series and movies and sometimes take a day off.

The repetition 'My my' is a speech disfluency; remove the duplicate. 'Must be' is unnecessary here; use simple present 'is' to state a preference. Use parallel nouns 'series and movies' without 'a' before 'good series'. Place 'sometimes' before 'take a day off' for natural word order. Suggested improvement: avoid repeating words, use simple present for general facts or preferences, and keep parallel structure.

× Yes, it's super important with the sweping machines and washing machines because washing machines take care of all The Dirty clothes that's so nice, and the sweeping machines take care of the floor and make it clean and cozy in the house. So it's very important.

✓ Yes, it's very important to have sweeping machines and washing machines because washing machines take care of all the dirty clothes, which is great, and sweeping machines take care of the floor and make the house clean and cozy. So they are very important.

Use 'very' rather than informal 'super' for more natural speech; correct spelling 'sweping' to 'sweeping'. Use 'to have' or 'to use' rather than 'with'. 'The Dirty' should be lowercase 'the dirty' and 'clothes' plural is fine. Replace 'that's so nice' with 'which is great' to connect clauses. Use 'they are' to refer back to machines. Suggested improvement: fix spelling, use appropriate linking words ('which'), and maintain correct capitalization and pronoun references.

× I never read the instructions before I use the machine. I just go straight on, try to put it on and try to figure out the on the way how to do it and if I if I can't do something I just watch YouTube to figure it out. I hate instructions.

✓ I never read the instructions before I use a machine. I just go straight to it, try to switch it on and figure things out along the way, and if I can't do something I watch YouTube to learn how. I hate instructions.

Maintain consistent present simple: 'before I use the machine' -> 'before I use a machine' (general habit). 'Go straight on' is incorrect; use 'go straight to it'. 'Put it on' is better as 'switch it on'. 'Figure out the on the way how to do it' is wordy and incorrect; use 'figure things out along the way'. Remove repeated filler 'if I'. Suggested improvement: simplify phrases, avoid fillers, and use standard collocations like 'switch on' and 'figure out'.

× I don't think so because so far in my whole life I've never read the instructions and everything I have at homework, uh, my computer works. I never struggled with not reading the instructions, so for me personally it works without.

✓ I don't think so because so far in my life I've never read the instructions and everything I have, like my computer, works. I have never struggled from not reading instructions, so for me personally it works without them.

Remove redundant 'whole' and awkward 'at homework'. Reorder to 'everything I have, like my computer, works' for clarity. Use present perfect 'I have never struggled' and correct preposition: 'struggled from' could be 'struggled due to' but better 'have never struggled from not reading instructions' is uncommon; clearer: 'have never had problems from not reading instructions' or 'have never struggled because I didn't read instructions'. Add 'them' to refer to 'instructions'. Suggested improvement: simplify sentence, use correct prepositions, and include pronoun references for clarity.