Memory— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is somewhat natural but contains grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'academical knowledge' and 'a memories like a elephant.' Try to use correct expressions and avoid redundancy. Also, keep your answer concise and directly address the question with clear supporting details.

例: It depends on the type of information. I find it difficult to memorize academic material, but I have a good memory for everyday things like car plate numbers or phone numbers. For example, I can easily recall my friends' phone numbers without writing them down.

提案: Your answer addresses the question but has several grammatical mistakes and unclear phrases like 'bed in mind' and 'electric devices.' Try to use clearer vocabulary and correct grammar. Also, organize your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details using linking words.

例: Yes, I have. Recently, I forgot to attend my IELTS mock test, which was important because it helped me get familiar with the electronic devices used during the exam. Although I tried to remember by adding it to my to-do list, I still missed it.

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contains awkward expressions like 'inhale a lot of knowledge' and 'circular activities.' Try to use more natural phrases and organize your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details connected by linking words. Avoid redundancy and keep sentences concise.

例: As a student, I need to remember academic knowledge and attend classes regularly from Monday to Friday. Additionally, I participate in school clubs and extracurricular activities, so I have to keep track of deadlines and tasks for those as well.

提案: Your answer provides relevant content but has grammatical errors and unclear phrases like 'purchasing type them.' Try to use correct vocabulary and grammar. Also, organize your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details using linking words to improve coherence.

例: I usually rely on mental notes and electronic devices like my laptop or phone to remember important things. I keep reminding myself of crucial information and often jot them down in my phone's notes app or type them on my computer to help retain the information.

× It also depends to be honest, whenever it comes to academical knowledge, I find myself quite challenging to memorize all of them.

✓ It also depends, to be honest. Whenever it comes to academic knowledge, I find it quite challenging to memorize all of it.

The phrase 'depends to be honest' is incorrect; it should be 'depends, to be honest' with a comma. 'Academical' is not a correct adjective; the correct form is 'academic'. Also, 'I find myself quite challenging' is incorrect; it should be 'I find it quite challenging' because 'challenging' describes the task, not the person. 'All of them' is better as 'all of it' when referring to knowledge as an uncountable noun.

× But when there are just some random things in daily life like car plate numbers or someone mobile phones numbers, I feel like I have a memories like a elephant that I can recollect them at any time.

✓ But when there are just some random things in daily life like car plate numbers or someone's mobile phone numbers, I feel like I have a memory like an elephant that I can recollect at any time.

The phrase 'someone mobile phones numbers' is incorrect; it should be 'someone's mobile phone numbers' to show possession and correct singular/plural forms. 'I have a memories' is incorrect; 'memories' is plural, so it should be 'I have a memory'. Also, 'a elephant' is incorrect; it should be 'an elephant' because 'elephant' starts with a vowel sound. 'Recollect them' is better as 'recollect' without 'them' since 'memory' is singular.

× Recently I just forgot to pick my IELTS mock test.

✓ Recently, I just forgot to take my IELTS mock test.

The verb 'pick' is incorrect in this context; the correct verb is 'take' when referring to attending a test. Also, a comma after 'Recently' improves clarity.

× It was so important to me since it helped me to get familiar with their electric devices used during the test and preparing mentally even though I try my best to bed in mind and put it on my daily To Do List.

✓ It was so important to me since it helped me get familiar with the electronic devices used during the test and prepare mentally, even though I tried my best to keep it in mind and put it on my daily To Do List.

'Get familiar with' is correct without 'to'. 'Electric devices' should be 'electronic devices'. 'Preparing mentally' should be parallel with 'get familiar', so 'prepare mentally'. 'Try my best to bed in mind' is incorrect; it should be 'tried my best to keep it in mind'. Also, past tense 'tried' matches 'was' and 'helped'. Commas improve sentence clarity.

× As a student, there are things I can say.

✓ As a student, there are things I can mention.

The phrase 'things I can say' is awkward here; 'things I can mention' or 'things I can talk about' is more appropriate in this context.

× Particularly, I believe that the most common one must be academical knowledge.

✓ Particularly, I believe that the most common one must be academic knowledge.

'Academical' is not a correct adjective; the correct form is 'academic'.

× Either go to school like mostly every day from Monday to Friday and inhale a lot of knowledge and attendance of classes.

✓ I usually go to school almost every day from Monday to Friday and absorb a lot of knowledge by attending classes.

'Either go to school like mostly every day' is incorrect and unclear. 'Inhale a lot of knowledge' is a wrong metaphor; 'absorb' or 'gain' knowledge is correct. 'Attendance of classes' should be 'attending classes'. The sentence structure is improved for clarity.

× Moreover, I also attend in some school clubs and circular activities that I need to remember deadlines and tasks.

✓ Moreover, I also attend some school clubs and extracurricular activities where I need to remember deadlines and tasks.

The verb 'attend' does not require the preposition 'in'. 'Circular activities' is incorrect; the correct term is 'extracurricular activities'. 'That' is better replaced with 'where' to refer to the clubs and activities.

× Usually I would rely on my mental notes and my electric devices like laptop or phone.

✓ Usually, I rely on my mental notes and my electronic devices like my laptop or phone.

'Electric devices' should be 'electronic devices'. 'Laptop or phone' should be 'my laptop or phone' for clarity. 'Would rely' is better as 'rely' to indicate habitual action. A comma after 'Usually' improves readability.

× I usually keep reminding myself the crucial informations.

✓ I usually keep reminding myself of the crucial information.

'Information' is an uncountable noun and does not have a plural form; 'informations' is incorrect. Also, 'remind myself the' should be 'remind myself of the'.

× At the same time, I would jot them down on the notes on my phone or sometime uh, purchasing type them on my computers in order to retain my memory and familiar.

✓ At the same time, I jot them down in the notes on my phone or sometimes type them on my computer in order to retain my memory and familiarity.

'Jot down on the notes' should be 'jot down in the notes'. 'Sometime uh, purchasing type them' is incorrect; it should be 'sometimes type them'. 'Computers' should be singular 'computer' if referring to one device. 'Retain my memory and familiar' is incorrect; it should be 'retain my memory and familiarity'.