Memory— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and use correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence stating whether you are good at memorising, then give one brief specific example with correct tense and linking words. Avoid redundancy and long unclear phrases.

例: I’m fairly good at memorising things. For example, if I study the night before a test I usually remember about 80% of the material, because I review key points and quiz myself. This method helps me feel confident on exam day.

提案: Use past tense consistently and organize the story clearly. Start with a topic sentence, then give specific details (what, when, consequence) using linking words like 'for example' and 'as a result'. Correct factual vocabulary (e.g. '100 ml' not '100 liters').

例: Yes, once I forgot something important while travelling. For example, I packed a large perfume bottle in my carry-on before a flight, but security only allows bottles up to 100 ml, so it was confiscated. As a result, I had to buy a new one at the airport.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and list two or three specific daily tasks with linking words. Use correct phrasing (e.g. 'I plan the night before' and 'put on the list'). Avoid filler words and keep within four or five sentences.

例: I always need to remember the tasks I plan the night before. For example, today I must take an iOS exam at 3:00 PM and finish my school homework. I write these tasks on a list so I don’t forget them during the day.

提案: Be specific about methods and give one brief reason why they work. Use correct grammar and smoother linking phrases like 'also' and 'in addition'. Avoid absolute claims like 'I don't forget anything'.

例: I usually make a to-do list the night before and set phone reminders, which helps me prioritise tasks. In addition, my friends sometimes remind me about important things, so using these methods keeps me organised and less likely to forget.

× Well, I'm not 100% sure about that, but for example, if I have to take a test tomorrow and I have to remember something the night before the test like I would got it 80% of all of it.

✓ Well, I'm not 100% sure about that, but for example, if I have to take a test tomorrow and I have to remember something the night before the test, I would get about 80% of it.

The original uses 'would got' which mixes modal conditional with past tense. Use base form 'get' after 'would'. Also '80% of all of it' is wordy; 'about 80% of it' is clearer. Ensure comma before the conditional result clause. Suggestion: Use 'would' + base verb for hypothetical results and simplify redundant phrases.

× Yes I have. For example there is one time I have to travel through another countries and I forgetting things like forgot to take my perfume out of my bag which is there doesn't allow more than 100 liters and also I forgot to put my suitcase back.

✓ Yes, I have. For example, one time I had to travel to another country and I forgot things, like my perfume, because the regulations didn't allow more than 100 ml, and I also forgot to bring back my suitcase.

Multiple tense and number errors: 'there is one time' should be 'one time' or 'on one occasion.' 'I have to travel' should be past 'I had to travel.' 'another countries' should be singular 'another country' or 'other countries.' 'I forgetting' is incorrect; use past 'I forgot.' 'which is there doesn't allow' is ungrammatical; use 'because the regulations didn't allow.' '100 liters' is unrealistic and incorrect unit; likely '100 ml.' Also 'forgot to put my suitcase back' -> 'forgot to bring back my suitcase.' Suggestion: Align verbs to past tense for past events, match singular/plural nouns, and use correct units.

× ...and I forgetting things like forgot to take my perfume out of my bag...

✓ ...and I forgot things, like my perfume, out of my bag...

The gerund/continuous 'forgetting' is incorrectly used in a narrative of past events. Use the simple past 'forgot' to match surrounding past tense. Suggestion: Use simple past for completed past actions.

× I had to travel to another country and I forgot things, like my perfume, because the regulations didn't allow more than 100 ml, and I also forgot to bring back my suitcase.

✓ I had to travel to another country and I forgot things, like my perfume, because the regulations didn't allow more than 100 ml, and I also forgot to bring my suitcase back.

Placement of 'back' is more natural after the noun ('bring my suitcase back') or before ('bring back my suitcase'). Original effectively had both; ensure correct placement for clarity. Suggestion: Place particles like 'back' in natural positions: 'bring my suitcase back' or 'bring back my suitcase'.

× I have planned to do this the night before today so I would really need to remember the things that I put it on the list.

✓ I planned to do this last night, so I really need to remember the things I put on the list.

Tense and redundancy errors: 'have planned to do this the night before today' is awkward; 'planned to do this last night' is clearer. 'would really need' mixes conditional unnecessarily; use present 'really need.' 'the things that I put it on the list' has extra pronoun 'it' and wrong clause; use 'things I put on the list.' Suggestion: Use simple past for completed planning and remove redundant pronouns.

× Like for example I have to go to take a iOS exam test today at 3:00 PM.

✓ For example, I have to take an iOS exam today at 3:00 PM.

Preposition 'go to take' is unnecessary; 'take an exam' is correct. Article before 'iOS' should be 'an' because 'i' is a vowel sound. Also 'exam test' is redundant; use 'exam.' Suggestion: Use 'take an exam' and choose correct article based on pronunciation.

× I usually make A to do list the night before show.

✓ I usually make a to-do list the night before.

Articles and word order: 'A' should be lowercase 'a' and 'to do list' should be hyphenated 'to-do list.' 'the night before show' is unnatural; 'the night before' suffices. Suggestion: Use 'a to-do list the night before' for natural phrasing.

× I usually make A to do list the night before show.

✓ I usually make a to-do list the night before.

The phrase 'before show' is incomplete and causes sentence structure problems. Remove 'show' unless context requires it. Suggestion: Keep sentence simple and complete: subject + verb + object + time expression.

× I don't forget anything.

✓ I usually don't forget anything.

The original absolute present 'I don't forget anything' is acceptable but adding 'usually' better matches intended habitual meaning conveyed elsewhere. Suggestion: Use 'usually' to indicate habit rather than absolute certainty.

× I also set a reminder on my phone and sometimes my friends remind me of the important task which help me stay organized and stay reminded.

✓ I also set a reminder on my phone, and sometimes my friends remind me of important tasks, which helps me stay organized and remember them.

Several agreement and relative clause issues: 'the important task' should be plural 'important tasks.' 'which help' should be 'which helps' because the relative clause refers to the act of reminding (singular concept) or rephrase to 'remind me ... and help me.' Also 'stay reminded' is unnatural; use 'remember them.' Suggestion: Ensure noun number consistency, subject-verb agreement in relative clauses, and use natural verbs like 'remember'.