Memory— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and reduce hesitations. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g., “I’m fairly good at remembering emotional events”), then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler words like “uh” and “umm” to sound more fluent.

例: I’m fairly good at remembering events that are emotionally significant. For example, I can easily recall my graduation day and the feelings I had, because strong emotions make those memories more vivid.

提案: Provide a direct answer then one clear specific example. Correct grammar and avoid repetition. Use a linking word (e.g., “but” or “however”) to contrast negative and positive memories.

例: Yes, I have forgotten some important things, especially unpleasant events, which I don’t mind forgetting. However, I usually remember positive and important moments, such as family celebrations, because I often look at photos and talk about them.

提案: Begin with a direct topic sentence about practical daily reminders, then add the personal or emotional aspects as supporting detail. Keep sentences short and use connectors like “also” or “for example.”

例: Daily, I need to remember practical things like appointments and tasks, and also to stay calm and grateful. For example, each morning I remind myself to be thankful and not to focus on worries, which helps me start the day positively.

提案: This answer is clear and practical but can be tightened to remove hesitations and repetition. Start with a concise topic sentence, then give two specific methods and a brief example of effectiveness. Use linking words like “for example” or “also.”

例: I usually set phone reminders and write notes to remember important things. For example, I set an alarm and a calendar reminder for meetings, and that way I rarely miss appointments.

× I will not say that I am an expert, uh, in memorizing things.

✓ I will not say that I am an expert in memorizing things.

Remove the unnecessary comma after 'expert' and filler 'uh' for clarity; the participle form 'memorizing' is correct. The error is punctuation/filler not in list — but keep sentence streamlined to fluent form.'

× However, umm, all the events and all the things that happened that usually are tied to emotions or links to strong emotions that I felt at that time.

✓ However, all the events and things that happened which were tied to strong emotions I felt at the time I usually remember easily.

Original sentence is a fragment (no main verb for the subject). Rewrote to include main verb 'remember' and made relative clause concise. Suggestion: ensure each sentence has a subject and finite verb and avoid stacked relative clauses.'

× I usually remember these kind of events so easily.

✓ I usually remember these kinds of events so easily.

Mismatch between 'these' (plural) and 'kind' (singular). Use plural 'kinds' with 'these' or use 'this kind of event' for singular. This is a pluralization/phrase agreement issue (choose correct noun form).'

× Yes, I have forgotten a lot of important memories, but some of these memories are unpleasant, so it's a good to not remember them anyway.

✓ Yes, I have forgotten many important memories, but some of them are unpleasant, so it is good not to remember them.

Use 'many' with countable 'memories' instead of 'a lot of' for formality; remove extraneous 'a' before 'good' and change 'to not remember' to 'not to remember' or 'good not to remember' for natural word order. Present perfect 'have forgotten' is fine.'

× However, all the good memories and all the important things are usually I'm good at remember them.

✓ However, I am usually good at remembering all the good memories and important things.

After 'good at' use the -ing form 'remembering' not the base verb 'remember'. Also fix word order: subject 'I' before predicate. Suggestion: remember preposition + gerund pattern.'

× Like in general, on a daily basis I need to always remember that God is with me and I don't have to be anxious.

✓ In general, on a daily basis I always need to remember that God is with me and I do not have to be anxious.

Style: place adverb 'always' before main verb 'need' for natural word order. Contraction 'don't' changed to 'do not' optionally for formality; tense is present simple and correct.'

× I have to always remember to be grateful for all the little things I am pleased with and not to dwell on negative emotions a lot.

✓ I have to always remember to be grateful for all the little things that please me and not to dwell on negative emotions.

Use active clause 'things that please me' instead of awkward 'things I am pleased with'. Remove redundant 'a lot'. Maintain infinitive 'to be grateful' and 'not to dwell'. Suggestion: prefer concise phrasing.'

× Like in order to remember important things that I have to do throughout the day or an important event that that is coming up, I usually set a reminder on my phone or I'll write a note, uh, to.

✓ To remember important things I have to do during the day or an upcoming event, I usually set a reminder on my phone or write a note.

Original had duplicated 'that that', an unfinished phrase 'write a note to', and filler 'uh'. Rewrote to complete the idea and correct sentence structure. Suggestion: avoid repetition and ensure each clause is complete.'

× So whenever the day comes, the phone beeps or I set an alarm.

✓ So whenever the day comes, the phone beeps or I set an alarm.

Original spoken form used 'the phone beeps' which is acceptable in simple present to describe habitual actions; if intended 'the phone will beep' for future, use future tense. No change needed, but ensure consistency: 'the phone beeps or I set an alarm' is fine for habits.'

× So it, it reminds me of the event.

✓ So it reminds me of the event.

Remove duplicate 'it' and extra comma. Ensure subject and verb are clear. Suggestion: avoid hesitation words and repetitions for clarity.'