Memory— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cải thiện: (1) Phát âm và ngữ pháp: sửa lỗi ngữ pháp (ví dụ "would like to say" -> "would like to say that I'm" hoặc đơn giản "I'm"), sử dụng động từ đúng ("excel" -> "excellent" hoặc "excel at" với cấu trúc phù hợp). (2) Giảm tiếng ồ ừ và ngập ngừng: luyện nói lưu loát, tránh các từ như "uh". (3) Cấu trúc câu rõ ràng: mở đầu bằng câu chủ đề ngắn, rồi dùng một hoặc hai chi tiết hỗ trợ có liên kết. (4) Từ vựng: dùng từ phù hợp hơn ("memorizing techniques" tốt nhưng tránh từ không chính xác như "reconciliate"). Cách thực hiện cụ thể: luyện các câu ngắn, tự ghi âm rồi sửa, luyện phát âm từ dễ nhầm, và học vài liên từ để nối ý (e.g., "for example", "also").

例: I'm quite good at memorising, especially for subjects like history and literature because they involve a lot of facts. For example, I often use repetition and mnemonic techniques to review information later, which helps me recall dates and names more easily.

提案: Cải thiện: (1) Rõ ràng và đúng ngữ pháp: tránh cụm từ lạ hoặc sai ("loss of target lives" vô nghĩa) và dùng thì đúng. (2) Tránh lặp từ và ngập ngừng: gỡ bỏ "umm", "uh" và lặp từ như "how how". (3) Sắp xếp ý theo cấu trúc: nói ngắn gọn sự việc, lý do và bài học rút ra. (4) Cung cấp chi tiết cụ thể: nêu thời điểm, hậu quả ngắn gọn để tăng thuyết phục. Thực hành: chuẩn bị cấu trúc mẫu (situation, reason, result/lesson) và tập nói theo nó.

例: Yes, I once missed a deadline for a writing assignment because I was overwhelmed with other commitments at that time. As a result, I learned to use a planner and set reminders so I don't overlook important tasks in the future.

提案: Cải thiện: (1) Tránh diễn đạt lủng củng và từ sai ("be the titleized" vô nghĩa). (2) Nói ngắn gọn: nêu ưu tiên cần nhớ (passwords, deadlines, appointments) rồi giải thích ngắn gọn vì sao. (3) Dùng liên từ và từ vựng phù hợp để nối ý ("besides", "moreover"). (4) Thực hành paraphrase để thay từ lặp lại (ví dụ "deadlines" thay bằng "due dates").

例: I need to remember a few things every day, especially my phone password because I use my phone to stay connected and access important information. Besides that, I always keep track of deadlines and appointments so I don't miss any commitments.

提案: Cải thiện: (1) Câu trả lời đã rõ ràng nhưng nên cô đọng hơn và dùng từ đúng thì ("enabled" -> "enables"). (2) Thêm một hoặc hai chi tiết cụ thể hoặc ví dụ để làm phong phú (ví dụ dùng ứng dụng nhắc việc, ghi note). (3) Dùng linking words để mạch lạc ("for example", "also"). Thực hành: luyện nói trong 3-4 câu, kèm ví dụ cụ thể và giữ thì thống nhất.

例: I use several techniques to remember important tasks. For example, I check my daily schedule every morning and at lunchtime, and I also set reminders on my phone and write short to-do notes so I always know what I need to do next.

× Well, would like to say that I'm quite excel at memorizing things, especially when it comes to the subject such as history or literature, which required me to retain a large volume of information.

✓ Well, I would like to say that I'm quite good at memorizing things, especially when it comes to subjects such as history or literature, which require me to retain a large volume of information.

The original sentence has multiple issues: 'would like to say' lacks the subject 'I' (sentence structure) and 'excel' is incorrectly used; the correct collocation is 'be good at' or 'excel at' followed by a noun. 'Subject' should be plural 'subjects' when speaking generally, and the relative clause should use present tense 'require' to agree with 'subjects'. Suggestions: include the subject 'I', use the correct adjective 'good' or the verb phrase 'excel at' with a noun, pluralize 'subject' to 'subjects', and use present tense 'require' for subject-verb agreement.

× For example, I usually uh, use repetition or memorizing techniques to re reconciliate uh, later.

✓ For example, I usually use repetition or memorization techniques to reconcile information later.

'Reconciliate' is not idiomatic; the correct verb is 'reconcile' and here it takes an object 'information'. 'Memorizing techniques' is better as 'memorization techniques' (noun form). Remove filler words and duplicated words. Suggestion: use 'reconcile' and the noun 'memorization' for clarity.

× Yes, of course, I once fully forgot about the deadline, my writing assignment, umm, that was mainly because I had a loss of target lives at the time and I uh, did not pay much attention about that Homework, umm, that taught me how how to manage my time effectively.

✓ Yes, of course. I once completely forgot about the deadline for my writing assignment. That was mainly because I was overwhelmed at the time and I did not pay much attention to that homework. It taught me how to manage my time effectively.

Problems: 'fully forgot' is awkward; 'completely forgot' is natural. 'Loss of target lives' is incorrect and unclear; likely intended 'was overwhelmed' or 'had a lot going on'. 'Did not pay much attention about' should be 'did not pay much attention to'. 'Homework' should be lowercase. Also remove repeated words. Suggestion: use clear past-tense expressions like 'was overwhelmed' and the preposition 'to' after 'pay attention'.

× Well, on top of that, I would say a password of my mobile phone is a must to remember since it is the only tool for me to keep connected with the outside world and access to the Internet.

✓ Well, on top of that, I would say the password for my mobile phone is a must to remember since it is the only tool for me to stay connected with the outside world and access the Internet.

Use of articles and prepositions: 'a password of my mobile phone' is awkward; use 'the password for my mobile phone' or 'my phone password'. 'Stay connected' is more natural than 'keep connected'. 'Access to the Internet' should be 'access the Internet' or 'access the internet'. Suggestion: use 'the' for a specific password and correct prepositions and verbs.

× Uh, beside that, the, those deadlines are equally, if not more important because, uh, without being formally conscious of it, we cannot be the titleized.

✓ Besides that, those deadlines are equally, if not more, important because without being aware of them, we cannot be organized.

Multiple issues: 'beside' should be 'besides'. 'The, those deadlines' is redundant; choose 'those deadlines'. 'Without being formally conscious of it' is unnatural; use 'without being aware of them'. 'We cannot be the titleized' is meaningless; likely intended 'we cannot be organized' or 'we cannot prioritize'. Suggestion: use correct pronouns ('them' to refer to deadlines), fix word choice and remove filler words.

× For example, I make it a habit to check my daily schedule at a certain time, such as in the early morning or at lunchtime, which enabled me to know exactly what I'm working towards and what I have done.

✓ For example, I make it a habit to check my daily schedule at a certain time, such as in the early morning or at lunchtime, which enables me to know exactly what I'm working towards and what I have done.

Tense inconsistency: the main clause uses present simple 'make it a habit', so the relative clause should use present simple 'enables' rather than past 'enabled'. 'What I'm working towards' and 'what I have done' are acceptable; ensure consistent present reference. Suggestion: maintain consistent present tense for habitual actions.