Memory— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be natural and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar (use 'good at memorising' and past tense forms), avoid redundancy, and give one specific, coherent example. Use linking words if adding details.

例: Yes, I am quite good at memorising. For example, I still remember a picture book I used to read as a child and the theme song of a cartoon I watched often, which helps me recall the stories and characters vividly.

提案: Organise the story with a clear timeline, correct verb tenses, and fewer repetitions. Start with a topic sentence ('Yes, once I forgot...'), then give cause, result and reaction using linking words like 'because' and 'so'. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, once I forgot an important massage appointment because I had a very busy day at work. The therapist called to remind me, and I apologised and asked to reschedule for the next day. After that I started setting reminders on my phone to avoid the same mistake.

提案: Begin with a direct statement, then add specific examples with correct grammar and linking words. Be precise about what details you must remember (ingredients, timings, recipes) and avoid vague or incorrect phrases.

例: I need to remember my daily work tasks, especially recipes and ingredients, because I work as a chef. For example, I must recall which dishes need no salt or sugar and the exact cooking times, so the food is consistent every time.

提案: Give a clear sequence of strategies and use linking words to connect ideas. Use correct verb forms and be specific about tools (phone reminders, lists, sticky notes) and how often you use them.

例: I usually write important tasks down in a notebook or set reminders on my phone. If I need to memorise something, I repeat it aloud several times and sometimes stick a small note on the wall so I see it throughout the day.

× Yes, I think I'm good in memorizing.

✓ Yes, I think I'm good at memorizing.

Use 'good at' not 'good in' to indicate skill with a gerund. Change the preposition to 'at' to be idiomatic.

× I can remember some of my childhood memory, for example, the book that I have been read and also some cartoon I've been washing washed.

✓ I can remember some childhood memories, for example, books that I have read and also some cartoons I watched.

Use plural 'memories' for multiple recollections (singular/plural issue). 'The book that I have been read' is incorrect: use 'books that I have read' (past participle read and plural). 'Cartoon I've been washing washed' is wrong verb and form; use 'cartoons I watched' or 'that I watched'. Simplify tense to present perfect 'have read' and simple past 'watched' for past events. Also remove unnecessary 'the'.

× Yes, it's happened before.

✓ Yes, it happened before.

Use simple past 'it happened' for a completed event rather than present perfect continuous form 'it's happened' which is awkward here. This fits narrative of a past occurrence.

× I remember there was one time I book an appointment for a body massage but I end up forgot that I've been booking so someone called me that.

✓ I remember one time I booked an appointment for a body massage, but I ended up forgetting that I had booked it, so someone called me about it.

Multiple past-tense errors: use simple past 'booked' and 'ended up' with -ing 'forgetting' for sequence. Use past perfect 'had booked' to show earlier action. Also replace 'so someone called me that' with 'so someone called me about it' for correct preposition and pronoun reference.

× Oh hey, are you Evian? I said yes.

✓ Oh hey, are you Evian? I said yes.

This sentence is acceptable as reported speech; no correction needed other than punctuation. It correctly uses pronouns. (Included for completeness; no grammatical change.)

× Oh you forgot to come, you already make an appointment.

✓ Oh, you forgot to come; you had already made an appointment.

Use simple past 'forgot' and past perfect 'had already made' to indicate the appointment was made before the missed visit. 'Make' must be in past tense 'made'.

× I say Oh yes sorry, sorry, can I cancel the appointment and commit on the next day?

✓ I said, 'Oh yes, sorry. Can I cancel the appointment and reschedule for the next day?'

Use past reporting verb 'said' not 'say' for past narrative. 'Commit on the next day' is incorrect; use 'reschedule for the next day' or 'move it to the next day'. Also punctuation and phrasing adjusted. Pronoun use was fine but verb tense and vocabulary needed correction.

× I need to remember my work tasks. For example, I'm a chef, so I need to remember every details of the food that I cook.

✓ I need to remember my work tasks. For example, I'm a chef, so I need to remember every detail of the food that I cook.

Use singular 'every detail' not 'every details' (quantifier + noun requires singular). This corrects agreement between 'every' and the noun.

× Some food that I don't need to like put salt or sugar or some ingredient.

✓ Some dishes do not need salt, sugar, or certain ingredients.

'Some food that I don't need to like put' is ungrammatical. Use 'dishes' and reorder to 'do not need salt, sugar, or certain ingredients.' Prepositions unnecessary; simplify phrase structure for clarity.

× That's why I need to remember all of the thing that I've been called.

✓ That's why I need to remember all of the things that I've been taught.

'Thing' should be plural 'things' when referring to multiple items (quantifier/pronoun agreement). 'I've been called' is incorrect verb choice; likely intended 'I've been taught' or 'I've been told'. Use appropriate past participle 'taught' or 'told' depending on meaning.

× At first I will try to write down or I will try to remember.

✓ At first I try to write things down or I try to remember them.

For habitual actions, use simple present 'I try' rather than 'I will try'. Also 'write down' needs an object 'things' and include pronoun 'them' for clarity.

× If I can't remember, I will repeat myself, remember that again and again.

✓ If I can't remember, I repeat the information to myself again and again.

Use simple present for habitual action: 'I repeat' not 'I will repeat' in this context. Also 'repeat myself, remember that' is awkward; use 'repeat the information to myself.'

× Or even sometime I write a small note and stick it on my wall.

✓ Or sometimes I write a small note and stick it on my wall.

Use 'sometimes' not 'sometime' for occasional actions. For habitual actions use simple present tense 'write' and 'stick'.