Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is generally clear and relevant, but it could be more concise and natural. Avoid repeating phrases like "eating chocolate" and try to use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly. Also, try to limit your response to about 4-5 sentences for better effectiveness.

例: I enjoyed eating chocolate when I was younger because of its sweet and comforting taste. However, as I grew up, I started avoiding it due to health concerns. Despite this, I still occasionally treat myself to a small piece because I like its flavor.

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant, but it would be better to use linking words to connect your ideas and avoid listing too many effects without explanation. Also, try to be more specific about how often you eat chocolate to give a clearer picture.

例: I rarely eat chocolate because I know it can negatively affect my health, like causing weight gain or lowering my energy. Therefore, I try to maintain a healthy lifestyle by limiting sweets to special occasions only.

提案: Your answer has good content but contains grammatical errors and redundancy. Use past tense consistently and avoid repeating phrases like "when I was a kid." Also, avoid unnecessary phrases like "And yes." Try to provide a clearer example with proper sentence structure.

例: Yes, I often ate chocolates as a child because I enjoyed their sweet taste. For example, I sometimes took money from my mother to buy chocolates secretly.

提案: Your answer is good and relevant, but watch for small grammar mistakes like "chocolates is" instead of "chocolate is." Also, try to use linking words like "because" and "therefore" to improve coherence. Adding a bit more specific detail would enhance your response.

例: Chocolate is popular worldwide because of its rich, sweet taste that appeals to all ages. Moreover, it is often associated with celebrations and comfort, making it a go-to treat during special occasions or stressful times.

提案: Your answer has several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Use past tense correctly and avoid redundancy. Try to make your sentences clearer and more natural by simplifying and organizing your ideas logically.

例: My favorite flavor is white chocolate because I enjoy its sweet taste. Since I was a child, I have preferred buying white chocolate over other types.

提案: Your answer is well-structured and clear with good use of examples. To improve, try to use more varied vocabulary and linking words to enhance coherence and make your opinion stronger.

例: I believe it depends on the recipient since some people love chocolate while others may not. Personally, I think chocolate can be an ordinary or impersonal gift. Therefore, for a meaningful present, it's better to choose something unique or tailored to the person's interests.

× When I was a kid I often eat chocolates because I really enjoyed their taste and sweets.

✓ When I was a kid I often ate chocolates because I really enjoyed their taste and sweets.

The sentence refers to a past time ('when I was a kid'), so the verb should be in the past tense. 'Eat' is present tense; it should be changed to 'ate' to match the past context.

× I often stole money from my mother to purchasing some pieces of chocolates.

✓ I often stole money from my mother to purchase some pieces of chocolate.

After 'to' (a preposition indicating purpose), the base form of the verb should be used, not the '-ing' form. Therefore, 'purchasing' should be corrected to 'purchase'. Also, 'chocolates' is better as 'chocolate' here as an uncountable noun.

× I often stole money from my mother to purchasing some pieces of chocolates.

✓ I often stole money from my mother to purchase some pieces of chocolate.

The word 'chocolates' is plural, but when referring to pieces or types of chocolate, 'chocolate' as an uncountable noun is more appropriate. 'Pieces of chocolate' is the correct phrase.

× I think that chocolates is common because of its rich, sweet taste that appeals to people of all ages.

✓ I think that chocolate is common because of its rich, sweet taste that appeals to people of all ages.

'Chocolate' here is an uncountable noun and should be singular. Using 'chocolates' (plural) is incorrect in this context.

× Additionally, chocolate is often treated with celebrations and comfort, making it a go to treat during special occasions or stressful times.

✓ Additionally, chocolate is often associated with celebrations and comfort, making it a go-to treat during special occasions or stressful times.

The phrase 'treated with' is incorrect here. The correct phrase is 'associated with' to express a connection. Also, 'go to' should be hyphenated as 'go-to' when used as an adjective.

× Actually my favorite flavor of chocolate is white chocolate because I really enjoy its taste and since from my child I often prefer to buy white chocolate because I really find it more sweetest for me.

✓ Actually, my favorite flavor of chocolate is white chocolate because I really enjoy its taste and since I was a child I have often preferred to buy white chocolate because I find it sweeter for me.

The phrase 'since from my child' is incorrect; it should be 'since I was a child'. Also, 'more sweetest' is incorrect; 'sweetest' is a superlative and should not be combined with 'more'. 'Sweeter' is the correct comparative form here.

× I really find it more sweetest for me.

✓ I really find it sweeter for me.

The word 'sweetest' is a superlative and should not be used with 'more'. The correct comparative form is 'sweeter'.