Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答は自然ですが、'them'の使い方が不適切で、単数形の'chocolate'に対して複数形の代名詞を使っています。また、内容がやや冗長で、もう少し簡潔にまとめると効果的です。

例: Yes, I love eating chocolate because it is sweet and helps me feel refreshed and relaxed after a long, busy day.

提案: 回答が不明瞭で文法的な誤りが多いです。'special locations'は誤用で、'special occasions'が適切です。また、理由の説明が途中で終わっているため、文を完結させる必要があります。

例: I don't eat chocolate very often, only sometimes on special occasions like birthdays, Valentine's Day, and Christmas because chocolate contains a lot of sugar and artificial ingredients.

提案: 文法と語彙の誤りが多く、意味が伝わりにくいです。'one of their favorite sweet'は誤りで、'one of my favorite sweets'が正しいです。また、'kid girl kindergarten'は不自然で、単に'kindergarten'で十分です。

例: Yes, chocolate was one of my favorite sweets when I was a child, and my mom often bought it for me after I went to kindergarten.

提案: 回答は内容がやや散漫で、文法的な誤りもあります。'I guess from the reason is'は不自然で、'I think the reason is that'が適切です。また、'decorate some ingredient'は'decorate chocolates with various toppings'の方が自然です。

例: I think chocolate is popular worldwide because there are many types available in supermarkets and convenience stores. For example, in my country, strawberry and white chocolates are popular among young people. Moreover, chocolates can be decorated with various toppings, making them more attractive.

提案: 'Moreover'を繰り返し使っているため、接続詞のバリエーションを増やすと良いです。また、'during I watch their favorite YouTube channel'は不自然で、'while watching my favorite YouTube channel'が適切です。

例: My favorite flavor of chocolate is definitely strawberry because it's sweet and delicious. It helps me feel relaxed and happy, especially after a long day. I also enjoy eating it while watching my favorite YouTube channel.

提案: 回答はやや曖昧で、'sacred'はチョコレートの贈り物に対して不自然な表現です。より適切な形容詞を使い、理由を具体的に述べると良いでしょう。

例: I think chocolate makes a great gift in many countries because it is considered special and enjoyable, and many people like receiving it on special occasions.

× so that's why I really enjoy eating them.

✓ so that's why I really enjoy eating it.

The word 'chocolate' is singular and uncountable here, so the pronoun should be singular 'it' instead of plural 'them'.

× especially on special locations like birthday, Valentine's Day and the Christmas Day

✓ especially on special occasions like birthdays, Valentine's Day, and Christmas Day

The word 'locations' is incorrect; 'occasions' is appropriate for events. Also, 'birthday' should be pluralized to 'birthdays' to generalize, and 'the Christmas Day' should be 'Christmas Day' without 'the'.

× because chocolate is very sweet and the contains a lot of sugar and other artificial ingredients so I have.

✓ because chocolate is very sweet and contains a lot of sugar and other artificial ingredients, so I avoid it.

The sentence has a structure problem: 'the contains' is incorrect; 'contains' should be used without 'the'. Also, the sentence ends abruptly with 'so I have' which is incomplete. It should be completed to express the intended meaning, e.g., 'so I avoid it.'

× I guess chocolate was my one of their favorite sweet when I was a child

✓ I guess chocolate was one of my favorite sweets when I was a child

The phrase 'my one of their favorite sweet' is incorrect. It should be 'one of my favorite sweets' to correctly express possession and plural form of 'sweet'.

× after I went to a kid girl kindergarten.

✓ after I went to a girls' kindergarten.

The phrase 'kid girl kindergarten' is awkward and incorrect. 'Girls' kindergarten' is more natural and grammatically correct.

× there are many types of chocolate available at supermarket or convenience store.

✓ there are many types of chocolate available at supermarkets or convenience stores.

The nouns 'supermarket' and 'convenience store' should be plural to match the general statement.

× Moreover, they also can decorate some ingredient on the chocolate.

✓ Moreover, they can also decorate the chocolate with some ingredients.

The verb 'decorate' is followed by 'with' to indicate what is used for decoration. Also, 'ingredient' should be plural 'ingredients' and the word order is improved.

× Moreover, I really enjoy eating them during I watch their favorite YouTube channel.

✓ Moreover, I really enjoy eating it while I watch my favorite YouTube channel.

'Them' should be 'it' referring to chocolate (singular/uncountable). 'During I watch' is incorrect; 'while I watch' is appropriate. Also, 'their' should be 'my' to match the speaker.

× Oh I've never thought that, but I guess chocolate is the best gift in many countries because they are regarded as sacred, special, and uh, enjoyable things as a gift.

✓ Oh, I've never thought about that, but I guess chocolate is the best gift in many countries because it is regarded as sacred, special, and enjoyable as a gift.

'They' refers to chocolate (singular/uncountable), so 'it' should be used. Also, 'never thought that' should be 'never thought about that' for correct expression. 'Things' is unnecessary and incorrect here.