Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Ваш ответ содержит грамматические ошибки и неестественные выражения, такие как "mustn't eat" и "try to to not eating". Рекомендуется использовать простые и правильные конструкции, например, "I have to avoid chocolate because my blood sugar is high". Также стоит избегать повторов и излишних слов.

例: I don't eat chocolate often because I have high blood sugar, so I try to avoid it to stay healthy.

提案: Ответ содержит ошибки в структуре и словоупотреблении, например, "We have traditional" и "try to can't eat". Следует использовать правильные выражения и более четко отвечать на вопрос, например, "We usually eat chocolate after school or work with tea, but now I try not to eat it."

例: Usually, my family and I eat chocolate with tea after school or work, but recently I try to avoid it because of my health.

提案: В ответе есть грамматические ошибки и неясные фразы, например, "my grandparents both Me every month for a couple of them". Рекомендуется использовать простые предложения и уточнять детали, например, "I ate chocolate every day because I liked it, and my grandparents gave me some every month."

例: When I was a child, I ate chocolate every day because I loved it, and my grandparents gave me some every month as a treat.

提案: Ответ содержит повторы и нечеткие выражения, например, "a lot of a lot of" и "take take off to us". Следует использовать более точные и разнообразные слова, а также связки для логичности, например, "Chocolate is popular because it is affordable, convenient to carry, and delicious."

例: I think chocolate is popular worldwide because it is affordable, easy to carry, and tastes great.

提案: В ответе есть ошибки в словах и структуре, например, "flower" вместо "flavour" и "we can eat chocolate, eats chocolate only with strawberry". Рекомендуется использовать правильные слова и более связные предложения, например, "My favorite chocolate flavor is strawberry because my mom and I used to eat it together."

例: My favorite chocolate flavor is strawberry because my mom and I used to enjoy eating it together when I was a child.

提案: Ответ понятен, но содержит повторы и неестественные выражения, например, "it's better than it's better gift instead of nothing". Рекомендуется использовать более естественные фразы и связки, например, "Chocolate is a good gift because many people like it, and it's better than giving nothing."

例: I believe chocolate makes a great gift because most people enjoy it, and it's better than giving no gift at all.

× Recently I decided that I mustn't eat chocolate because I have a very high sugar in my blood.

✓ Recently I decided that I must not eat chocolate because I have very high sugar in my blood.

The contraction 'mustn't' is typically used to express prohibition, but in this context, 'must not' is more appropriate to indicate a personal decision or necessity. Also, 'a very high sugar' is incorrect; 'very high sugar' without 'a' is correct because 'sugar' is uncountable here.

× That's why I try to to not eating very often chocolate.

✓ That's why I try not to eat chocolate very often.

The phrase 'try to to not eating' is incorrect. The correct form is 'try not to eat' because 'try' is followed by the infinitive form of the verb. Also, the word order is corrected to place 'very often' appropriately.

× We have traditional that after our school and after our work job, we can eat chocolate with the tea and it's very cool and exciting for our family.

✓ We have a tradition that after school and work, we can eat chocolate with tea, and it's very nice and exciting for our family.

The word 'traditional' is an adjective; the noun 'tradition' is needed here. 'Our school' and 'our work job' are better expressed as 'school' and 'work'. 'With the tea' should be 'with tea' as tea is uncountable. 'Cool' is informal and less appropriate here; 'nice' fits better.

× Umm, now I try to can't eat chocolate.

✓ Umm, now I try not to eat chocolate.

The phrase 'try to can't eat' is incorrect because 'try' should be followed by an infinitive verb without modal verbs like 'can't'. The correct form is 'try not to eat'.

× Honestly, I ate chocolate every day when I was a child because for me it's very yummy and delicious snacks.

✓ Honestly, I ate chocolate every day when I was a child because for me it was a very yummy and delicious snack.

The phrase 'it's very yummy and delicious snacks' mixes singular and plural forms incorrectly. Since 'chocolate' is singular here, 'snack' should be singular and the verb 'is' should be past tense 'was' to match the past context.

× And my grandparents both Me every month for a couple of them.

✓ And my grandparents gave me some every month for a couple of years.

The original sentence is unclear and grammatically incorrect. 'Both Me' is incorrect pronoun usage. The corrected sentence uses 'gave me' to indicate receiving chocolate and clarifies the time period.

× In my opinion, chocolate is popular around the world because, uh, it's cheaper than a lot of a lot of other sweets and snacks.

✓ In my opinion, chocolate is popular around the world because it's cheaper than many other sweets and snacks.

The phrase 'a lot of a lot of' is redundant and incorrect. 'Many' is a better quantifier here.

× Also it's convenient to take take off to us and it's delicious and just simple.

✓ Also, it's convenient to take with us, and it's delicious and simple.

The phrase 'take take off to us' is incorrect. The correct expression is 'take with us'. Also, 'just simple' is better as 'simple' alone.

× In my childhood, my mom and I had habits that we can eat chocolate, eats chocolate only with strawberry.

✓ In my childhood, my mom and I had a habit of eating chocolate only with strawberry.

The phrase 'had habits that we can eat chocolate, eats chocolate' is incorrect. 'Had a habit of eating' is the correct expression. Also, 'eats' should be 'eat' or better replaced by 'eating'.

× That's why my favorite flower of chocolate is chocolate with strawberry.

✓ That's why my favorite flavor of chocolate is chocolate with strawberry.

The word 'flower' is a misspelling; the correct word is 'flavor'.

× It's delicious, yummy and it's energy. Energy for me.

✓ It's delicious and yummy, and it gives me energy.

The phrase 'it's energy' is incorrect. The correct expression is 'it gives me energy' to indicate the effect of chocolate.

× Without a doubt I can say that chocolate is a good gift for other people because in my opinion, all people in our world love chocolate.

✓ Without a doubt, I can say that chocolate is a good gift for other people because, in my opinion, everyone in the world loves chocolate.

The phrase 'all people in our world' is awkward; 'everyone in the world' is more natural. Also, commas are added for clarity.

× Also, it's better than it's better gift instead of nothing.

✓ Also, it's a better gift than giving nothing.

The original sentence is repetitive and unclear. The corrected sentence uses proper comparison structure and removes redundancy.