Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is generally good but can be improved by avoiding redundancy and making the response more natural. For example, avoid repeating words like 'which' and phrases like 'I absolutely love' multiple times. Also, try to structure your answer with a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details using linking words for coherence.

例: Yes, I really enjoy eating chocolate because I have a sweet tooth. I especially like dark chocolate due to its rich and creamy taste. Moreover, dark chocolate is known for its antioxidants, which makes it a healthier choice.

提案: Your answer provides relevant information but can be more concise and natural. Avoid filler phrases like 'The answer would be' and correct grammatical errors such as 'my is post meals'. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: I eat chocolate quite often, usually after meals. For instance, I have a small piece of chocolate after lunch and dinner every day, but I make sure to keep the portion small.

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant but can be improved by combining short sentences for better flow. Avoid starting sentences with conjunctions like 'Which'. Use linking words to connect ideas logically.

例: Actually, I did not eat chocolate often as a kid because my parents were quite strict about my diet. They only allowed me to have chocolates on special occasions, such as birthdays or festivals, which were quite rare.

提案: Your answer is brief and could be expanded with more specific details and linking words. Avoid phrases like 'Like I said' in formal speaking. Provide reasons and examples to support your opinion.

例: Chocolate is popular worldwide mainly because of its delicious taste and sweetness. Additionally, dark chocolate has become more popular recently due to its health benefits, such as antioxidants that promote well-being.

提案: Your answer is good but can be improved by avoiding repetition and grammatical errors like 'they the taste'. Use linking words to connect ideas and provide specific reasons for your preference.

例: My favourite flavour is mint chocolate because it tastes fresh and elegant on the palate. Moreover, mint has health benefits, which makes this flavour even more appealing to me.

提案: Your answer is relevant and informative but can be improved by structuring it more clearly. Use linking words like 'however' properly and avoid awkward phrasing such as 'in a limited manner'.

例: I think chocolate makes a good gift for adults. However, for children, it should be given in moderation because excessive sugar can cause hyperactivity and affect their developing teeth.

× Feel why not? Absolutely.

✓ Why not? Absolutely.

The phrase 'Feel why not?' is incomplete and does not form a proper sentence. It lacks a subject and verb, making it unclear. The correction removes 'Feel' to form a proper question 'Why not?' which fits the context.

× I'm particularly fond of dark chocolates which which makes them my favorite.

✓ I'm particularly fond of dark chocolates which makes them my favorite.

The sentence contains a repeated word 'which which' which is a typographical error. Removing the duplicate 'which' corrects the sentence structure and improves clarity.

× The answer would be very often.

✓ I eat chocolate very often.

'The answer would be very often' is not a complete or natural response. It lacks a subject and verb related to the action. The correction provides a clear subject and verb to answer the question properly.

× So one particular time that I have sweet on regular basis is my is post meals.

✓ So one particular time that I have sweets on a regular basis is after meals.

The original sentence has grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. 'My is post meals' is incorrect. The correction clarifies the timing and corrects the article usage and preposition.

× Though it is a daily habit, but it is measured.

✓ Though it is a daily habit, it is measured.

Using both 'though' and 'but' together is redundant. One conjunction is sufficient. The correction removes 'but' to avoid redundancy.

× Actually, no. Which is strange because my parents were quite strict regarding my diet and the consumption of chocolate.

✓ Actually, no, which is strange because my parents were quite strict regarding my diet and the consumption of chocolate.

Starting a sentence with 'Which' as a relative pronoun without a preceding noun is incorrect. Combining the two sentences with a comma makes it grammatically correct.

× They made sure that I never had chocolates on a regular basis.

✓ They made sure that I never had chocolate on a regular basis.

'Chocolate' is generally an uncountable noun when referring to the substance in general. Using 'chocolates' implies individual pieces, which is less appropriate here.

× I'm particularly fond of mint chocolates. I believe they are really fresh. They feel fresh on the palate and they the taste is also very elegant and consuming them has a lot of health benefits as well.

✓ I'm particularly fond of mint chocolates. I believe they are really fresh. They feel fresh on the palate, and the taste is also very elegant. Consuming them has a lot of health benefits as well.

The original sentence has a repeated 'they' and run-on structure. Splitting into two sentences and removing the extra 'they' improves clarity and grammatical correctness.

× As far as adults are concerned, yes. However for kids they should be used in a limited manner as it might harm their developing brain because too much sugar tends to bring hyperactivity in the kid and also for their growing teeth.

✓ As far as adults are concerned, yes. However, for kids, they should be used in a limited manner as it might harm their developing brains because too much sugar tends to cause hyperactivity in kids and also affect their growing teeth.

The original sentence has missing commas and awkward preposition usage. Adding commas improves readability. 'Bring hyperactivity in the kid' is incorrect; 'cause hyperactivity in kids' is more appropriate. Also, 'brain' should be plural to match 'kids'.