Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 你的回答有点冗长且不够清晰，建议直接回答问题并用简洁的句子表达。避免语法错误和不完整的表达。可以用简单明了的句子说明你喜欢巧克力的原因。

例: Yes, I love eating chocolate because I enjoy trying different types from various countries. Besides eating, I also like collecting chocolates as a hobby.

提案: 回答中语法和表达不够准确，建议用正确的时态和频率副词表达。避免重复和口语填充词。

例: I used to eat chocolate about three times a week, but now I only eat it once a month because I am trying to lose weight.

提案: 回答较自然，但有些语法和表达不够准确。建议减少口语填充词，使用更连贯的句子，并直接回答问题。

例: Yes, I often ate chocolate as a child. Watching the movie "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" always made me crave chocolate, so I would treat myself to some.

提案: 回答中语法错误较多，表达不清晰。建议用完整句子说明巧克力受欢迎的原因，注意词汇和句子结构。

例: Chocolate is popular worldwide because it releases endorphins that make people feel happier and less stressed. Also, its delicious taste attracts many people.

提案: 回答中有很多口语填充词和不完整的句子，建议用简洁连贯的句子表达喜欢的巧克力口味，并具体描述原因。

例: It's hard to choose, but I like chocolate with biscuits because it combines different tastes and textures, including a crunchy feel.

提案: 回答不完整且语法错误较多，建议用完整句子表达观点，说明为什么巧克力是好的礼物，并举例说明。

例: Yes, chocolate makes a great gift. For example, I gave some to my friend for her birthday last month, and she really appreciated the thoughtful present.

× I not only love eating chocolates but also like collecting them and I do know a lot of kinds of chocolates with which combined with.

✓ I not only love eating chocolate but also like collecting it and I do know a lot of kinds of chocolate to combine with.

The word 'chocolates' is incorrectly pluralized when referring to chocolate in general. 'Chocolate' as a substance is uncountable, so singular form should be used. Also, the phrase 'with which combined with' is awkward and incorrect; it should be 'to combine with' to express the intended meaning.

× Before you lose weight, I usually eat them as umm, third times per weeks, per week.

✓ Before I lost weight, I usually ate it about three times per week.

The phrase 'third times per weeks' is incorrect; it should be 'three times per week' to correctly express frequency. Also, 'them' is used incorrectly for chocolate, which is uncountable and should be 'it'. The tense should be past to match 'before I lost weight'.

× And right now I'm, I'm doing, I'm losing weight right now. So like per once a month. Yeah, once a month.

✓ And right now, I'm losing weight. So I eat it about once a month.

The phrase 'per once a month' is incorrect; 'once a month' is the correct expression. Also, 'I'm doing, I'm losing weight' is redundant; 'I'm losing weight' suffices.

× Do you remember a fee? A movie called Charlie and a Chocolate Factory?

✓ Do you remember a film called Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?

The word 'fee' is incorrect; it should be 'film' to refer to a movie. Also, the title is 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' not 'Charlie and a Chocolate Factory'.

× And then I really wanted to buy a piece of chocolate to eat to treat myself.

✓ And then I really wanted to buy a piece of chocolate to eat and treat myself.

The sentence is mostly correct but adding 'and' improves clarity and flow.

× 'Cause you know, chocolate is known As for canned release endorphins and can mix our mood happier and that we feel that stressed and definitely the tastes are so good.

✓ 'Cause you know, chocolate is known for releasing endorphins and can improve our mood, making us feel less stressed. Also, the taste is definitely very good.

The phrase 'known As for canned release endorphins' is incorrect; it should be 'known for releasing endorphins'. 'Can mix our mood happier' is incorrect; it should be 'can improve our mood'. The sentence structure is awkward and needs rephrasing for clarity.

× So I think almost every people like it.

✓ So I think almost everyone likes it.

'Every people' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'everyone'. Also, subject-verb agreement requires 'likes' for singular 'everyone'.

× Actually, it's really hard for me to pick only one because I'm, I love all kinds of chocolate, but if, let me just pick one, I will choose, uh, biscuits chocolate cause it's combined with different taste, different texture.

✓ Actually, it's really hard for me to pick only one because I love all kinds of chocolate, but if I had to pick one, I would choose biscuit chocolate because it combines different tastes and textures.

'Biscuits chocolate' should be 'biscuit chocolate' as an adjective-noun combination. 'Cause' should be 'because' for formality. 'It's combined with different taste, different texture' is incorrect; it should be 'it combines different tastes and textures'.

× Umm, both have the, umm, crash, uh, crunk crunch crunchy of.

✓ Both have a crunchy texture.

The original sentence is incomplete and uses incorrect or unclear words like 'crash', 'crunk', 'crunch crunchy'. The correct adjective is 'crunchy' to describe texture.

× I think it will be a great perfect gift kiss Umm like one month ago.

✓ I think it will be a great, perfect gift. Like one month ago,

The word 'kiss' is incorrect and likely a mishearing or typo. It should be removed. Also, a comma is needed after 'gift' to separate ideas.

× I just sent it to my friends. I say as her talk, uh, as her birthday bir birthday gifts.

✓ I just sent it to my friend as her birthday gift.

'Friends' is plural but context suggests one friend. 'I say as her talk' is unclear and incorrect; it should be omitted. 'Bir birthday gifts' is a repetition and should be 'birthday gift'.

× I think it's so sweet and thoughtful and considering both her taste and about her love And this can also regarded a.

✓ I think it's so sweet and thoughtful, considering both her taste and what she loves. This can also be regarded as a good gift.

The phrase 'considering both her taste and about her love' is incorrect; it should be 'considering both her taste and what she loves'. The sentence is incomplete and needs to be finished properly.