Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is generally clear but could be more natural and concise. Avoid redundancy and grammatical errors such as "I like it's" which should be "I like its". Also, the last sentence is incomplete and unclear. Try to complete your thoughts and use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: Yes, I really enjoy eating chocolate because of its rich and creamy texture. Moreover, recent studies by physicians show that dark chocolate has health benefits, which makes it even more appealing to me.

提案: Your answer is informative but a bit repetitive (mentioning the fridge twice). Try to use linking words to connect your ideas and avoid redundancy. Also, use present tense consistently when talking about habits.

例: I eat chocolate every day and keep a large collection in my fridge, ranging from hard candies to sweet melting chocolates. Additionally, when I travel to different countries, I like to collect chocolates unique to each place.

提案: Your answer is clear but could be more concise and natural. Avoid repeating the same idea multiple times. Use linking words to connect sentences and correct grammar such as "a handful of chocolates".

例: Yes, I used to eat a lot of chocolate as a child. My father would bring me chocolates every day after work, and I always looked forward to his arrival with a handful of treats.

提案: Your answer has some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, "his of its" should be "its", and "gives like a relaxation in the mind" is unnatural. Try to use clearer and more natural expressions and add linking words for coherence.

例: I think chocolate is popular worldwide because of its sweet taste. Furthermore, eating good quality chocolate can help people feel relaxed and happy.

提案: Your answer is good but could be more concise and natural. Avoid repeating "chocolate" multiple times and use linking words to connect ideas. Also, "the covering of the chocolate is so good to see" can be rephrased for clarity.

例: My favourite chocolate is Ferrero Rocher because the nuts add a unique taste and texture. Additionally, its attractive golden wrapping makes it visually appealing.

提案: Your answer is understandable but contains some awkward phrasing and repetition. For example, "good source of gift" should be "a good gift", and "We always I always" is confusing. Try to be more concise and use linking words to improve flow.

例: Definitely, chocolate makes a great gift, especially for loved ones on their birthdays. I often choose chocolate as a special and memorable present for others.

× I love eating chocolate because I like it's rich and creamy texture.

✓ I love eating chocolate because I like its rich and creamy texture.

The pronoun 'it's' is a contraction for 'it is' or 'it has', but here the possessive pronoun 'its' is needed to indicate that the texture belongs to the chocolate.

× Especially the physicians nowadays are showing in their studies that the dark chocolate really benefits the.

✓ Especially, physicians nowadays are showing in their studies that dark chocolate really has benefits.

The sentence is incomplete and awkwardly structured. 'The dark chocolate really benefits the' is incomplete; it should specify what is benefited or be rephrased. Also, 'the physicians' is better as 'physicians' without 'the' here. The correction improves clarity and sentence completeness.

× I have a large collection of chocolate in my fridge, from hard candy to the sweetest melting chocolate I have in my fridge.

✓ I have a large collection of chocolate in my fridge, from hard candy to the sweetest melting chocolate.

Repeating 'I have in my fridge' is redundant. Also, 'collection of chocolate in my fridge' is correct, but repeating the location twice is unnecessary.

× When I go to different countries, I used to collect the chocolates according to their country.

✓ When I went to different countries, I used to collect chocolates according to their country.

The phrase 'used to' indicates past habitual action, so the main verb should be in past tense 'went' to match the time frame.

× When my father comes from work every day, he brings lots of chocolates to me.

✓ When my father comes home from work every day, he brings lots of chocolates to me.

The phrase 'comes from work' is awkward; 'comes home from work' is more natural. The verb 'comes' is correctly in third person singular form.

× I look forward to seeing my dad coming every night with handful of chocolates.

✓ I look forward to seeing my dad coming every night with a handful of chocolates.

The phrase 'handful of chocolates' requires the article 'a' before 'handful' to be grammatically correct.

× I believe chocolate is very popular around the world because of his of its sweet taste.

✓ I believe chocolate is very popular around the world because of its sweet taste.

The phrase 'his of its' is incorrect. The correct possessive pronoun for chocolate (an object) is 'its'.

× It gives like a relaxation in the mind when we eat good quality chocolates.

✓ It gives a feeling of relaxation in the mind when we eat good quality chocolates.

The phrase 'gives like a relaxation' is incorrect. 'Gives a feeling of relaxation' is the correct expression. Also, 'in the mind' is acceptable but 'to the mind' could also be used.

× I like the nut which is used in that chocolate which gives a special taste and texture to the chocolate and the covering of the chocolate is so good to see.

✓ I like the nut that is used in that chocolate, which gives a special taste and texture to the chocolate, and the covering of the chocolate is very attractive.

Replacing 'which' with 'that' for the defining clause improves clarity. Also, 'so good to see' is awkward; 'very attractive' or 'looks very good' is better.

× Definitely chocolate is a good source of gift to give to the beloved ones especially on their birthdays or to give us a special memorable gift.

✓ Definitely, chocolate is a good gift to give to loved ones, especially on their birthdays or as a special memorable gift.

'Source of gift' is incorrect; 'a good gift' is correct. 'Beloved ones' is better as 'loved ones'. The phrase 'to give us a special memorable gift' is awkward and unclear; rephrased for clarity.

× We always I always use chocolate to give to others.

✓ I always use chocolate to give to others.

The phrase 'We always I always' is a repetition and incorrect. It should be 'I always' or 'We always' depending on intended subject.