Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is generally clear but could be more natural and concise. Avoid redundancy like 'it makes me happier and it gives me a lot of energy' by combining ideas. Also, correct grammar errors such as 'I get weight' to 'I gain weight'. Try to keep your answer within 3-4 sentences for effectiveness.

例: Yes, I love chocolate because it boosts my mood and energy. However, I try not to eat it daily since it can cause weight gain.

提案: Your answer is relevant but contains some repetition and minor grammar mistakes. Avoid repeating words like 'after after' and improve sentence structure for clarity. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: I eat chocolate almost every day, usually after meals, because it helps boost my energy. For instance, I often have a piece of milk chocolate after breakfast.

提案: Your answer lacks clarity and contains unclear phrases like 'where was heart hearted?'. Try to express your ideas more clearly and avoid filler words such as 'uh'. Also, provide more specific supporting details to enrich your answer.

例: Yes, I was a big fan of chocolate as a child. My grandma often hid it from me because I ate too much, which sometimes upset my stomach.

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains many filler words like 'uh' and 'umm'. Try to organize your ideas logically and use linking words. Also, avoid vague phrases and be more specific about reasons for chocolate's popularity.

例: I believe chocolate is popular worldwide because of effective marketing and its ability to provide energy. Additionally, it is a popular gift choice for many occasions.

提案: Your answer is incomplete and contains unclear phrases like 'it's good with. Come.' Make sure to finish your sentences and provide clear reasons. Use specific vocabulary to describe your favorite flavor.

例: My favorite chocolate flavor is milk chocolate because it is sweet and creamy, which I find very enjoyable.

提案: Your answer is incomplete and has grammatical errors such as 'to adult person like and'. Avoid filler words and finish your thoughts clearly. Provide specific examples to support your opinion.

例: I think chocolate makes a great gift, especially during holidays. However, it's important to choose flavors that the recipient enjoys.

× Actually, I love chocolate, it makes me happier and it gives me a lot of energy, but I try to avoid eating it every day because I get weight when I'm eating it.

✓ Actually, I love chocolate; it makes me happier and gives me a lot of energy, but I try to avoid eating it every day because I gain weight when I eat it.

The phrase 'I get weight' is incorrect; the correct expression is 'I gain weight' to indicate an increase in body weight. Also, 'when I'm eating it' is better as 'when I eat it' to express habitual action. Additionally, the original sentence is a run-on; separating clauses with a semicolon improves clarity.

× I eat chocolate almost every day. I enjoy having it after after meals and I need it to boost my energy. For example, I have a milk chocolate in after break.

✓ I eat chocolate almost every day. I enjoy having it after meals and I need it to boost my energy. For example, I have milk chocolate after break.

The phrase 'after after meals' contains a repeated preposition; it should be 'after meals'. Also, 'in after break' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'after break'. The article 'a' before 'milk chocolate' is unnecessary when referring to chocolate in general.

× Yes I did, I was big fan of chocolate. My grandma kept hiding it from me when I was a kid because I was eating too much and then my stomach, uh, where was heart hearted?

✓ Yes, I did. I was a big fan of chocolate. My grandma kept hiding it from me when I was a kid because I was eating too much and then my stomach, uh, where was heart hurting?

The phrase 'I was big fan' is missing the article 'a' before 'big fan'. The phrase 'where was heart hearted?' is unclear and likely intended to express stomach pain; 'where my stomach was hurting' is more appropriate.

× First of all, I think, uh, it's so a good work of marketing a chocolate gives you energy and it is really good, you know, present to, uh, give and umm.

✓ First of all, I think, uh, it's such a good piece of marketing. Chocolate gives you energy and it is really a good present to give, you know, umm.

The phrase 'so a good work of marketing' is incorrect; 'such a good piece of marketing' is the correct expression. Also, 'present to, uh, give' is awkward; rephrasing to 'a good present to give' improves clarity.

× My favorite flavor of chocolate is one with milk. I enjoy it because it is really sweet and it's good with. Come.

✓ My favorite flavor of chocolate is milk. I enjoy it because it is really sweet and it goes well with coffee.

The phrase 'one with milk' is better expressed as 'milk' when referring to milk chocolate. The sentence 'it's good with. Come.' is incomplete and unclear; likely intended to say 'it goes well with coffee' or similar.

× I think using chocolate as a gift is a great idea, but you need to know which flavor of chocolate to adult person like and. For example, uh, giving chocolate during, umm, holidays and.

✓ I think using chocolate as a gift is a great idea, but you need to know which flavor of chocolate an adult person likes. For example, uh, giving chocolate during holidays is common.

The phrase 'to adult person like and' is grammatically incorrect; it should be 'an adult person likes'. The sentence ending with 'holidays and.' is incomplete; completing it improves clarity.