Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答中有语法错误，如“help somebody to may relax”应改为“help someone relax”，同时表达可以更自然简洁。建议避免重复表达“help relax”和“recharge energy”，可以合并为一句。

例: Yes, I like eating chocolate because it tastes delicious and helps me relax and recharge. I usually have some after dinner.

提案: 回答中语法和表达不够自然，如“afraid getting fatter and fatter”应为“afraid of gaining weight”。句子较长且结构混乱，建议分句并使用连接词使表达更流畅。

例: I don't eat chocolate often because I'm afraid of gaining weight. However, when I feel stressed, I sometimes eat chocolate to cheer myself up and regain energy.

提案: 时态使用错误，“don't often eat”应为“didn't often eat”。句子结构简单，建议使用连接词丰富表达，并且避免重复“chocolate”。

例: No, I didn't often eat chocolate when I was a kid because my parents didn't allow many sweets. However, I was allowed to have some on birthdays, which I always enjoyed very much.

提案: 表达较好，但“in additional”应为“in addition”。建议使用更多连接词使句子更连贯，同时可以增加具体原因或文化因素。

例: Chocolate is popular worldwide because it tastes delicious and comes in many varieties, such as white, dark, and milk chocolate. In addition, people enjoy it in various forms like cakes and cookies, which adds to its appeal.

提案: 表达中有语法错误，“more healthier”应为“healthier”。建议丰富理由，使用更自然的表达方式。

例: My favorite flavor is dark chocolate because it has a rich taste and is less sweet than others. I also believe it is healthier due to its higher cocoa content.

提案: 表达不够自然，“very welcome of any ages”应改为“well received by people of all ages”。建议句子更简洁，使用连接词使表达更流畅。

例: Yes, I think chocolate makes a good gift because it is suitable for most occasions and comes in many varieties. It is also well received by people of all ages.

× Yes, I really like eating chocolate because it tastes good and it can help somebody to may relax and recharge energy.

✓ Yes, I really like eating chocolate because it tastes good and it can help somebody to relax and recharge energy.

这里的“may”是不必要的，正确用法是“help somebody to relax”，不需要加“may”。

× I don't often eat chocolate because I'm afraid getting fatter and fatter, but sometimes when I'm feeling stressful I will have some chocolate to make me up at the same time it can recharge my energy.

✓ I don't often eat chocolate because I'm afraid of getting fatter and fatter, but sometimes when I'm feeling stressed I will have some chocolate to cheer me up; at the same time, it can recharge my energy.

“afraid”后面应接介词“of”，表示害怕某事；“feeling stressful”应改为“feeling stressed”，因为“stressful”形容事物；“make me up”应为“cheer me up”，表示使人振作；句子中缺少连接词，需用分号或逗号分隔。

× No, I don't often eat chocolate when I was a kid because my parents didn't allow me to have many sweets.

✓ No, I didn't often eat chocolate when I was a kid because my parents didn't allow me to have many sweets.

描述过去习惯时，主句应使用过去时态，“don't”应改为“didn't”。

× In additional, people enjoy chocolate in different forms like chocolate cakes and chocolate cookies.

✓ In addition, people enjoy chocolate in different forms like chocolate cakes and chocolate cookies.

短语应为“In addition”，不是“In additional”。

× My favorite flavor is dark chocolate because it has rich flavor and is not as sweet as others.

✓ My favorite flavor is dark chocolate because it has a rich flavor and is not as sweet as others.

“rich flavor”前应加冠词“a”，因为“flavor”是可数名词。

× I think it can make me more healthier.

✓ I think it can make me healthier.

“more healthier”是冗余表达，比较级“healthier”已经包含“more”的意思。

× Yes, I think it's good to use chocolate as a gift to others because chocolate is available for most of the occasions and it comes in many varieties and they are very welcome of any ages.

✓ Yes, I think it's good to use chocolate as a gift to others because chocolate is suitable for most occasions and it comes in many varieties and is very popular with people of all ages.

“available for most of the occasions”表达不准确，应为“suitable for most occasions”；“they are very welcome of any ages”表达错误，应为“is very popular with people of all ages”。