Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문장이 자연스럽지 않고 단어 선택에 오류가 있습니다. 먼저 주제문을 간결히 말한 뒤 이유와 구체적 예를 연결어로 이어 설명하세요. 불필요한 반복을 줄이고 단어 실수를 고치세요. 예: 'horses'는 문맥상 부정확하니 브랜드나 'chocolate bars'처럼 정확한 표현을 사용하세요.

例: Yes, I really like chocolate because I have a sweet tooth. For example, I usually carry small chocolate snacks such as M&M's or chocolate bars to boost my energy when I'm tired.

提案: 문장이 길고 중복 표현('these days', 'nowadays')이 있습니다. 이유 설명 시 더 자연스러운 표현과 올바른 표현을 사용하세요('my tooth held'는 의미 불명). 빈도+이유 순으로 간결히 말하고 연결어를 사용하세요.

例: I eat chocolate about once a week. Since I live alone now, I can buy snacks whenever I want, but I try to limit myself because I'm worried about my dental health.

提案: 대체로 이해 가능하지만 작은 문법·어순 오류가 있습니다. 'teeth health' 대신 'dental health'를 쓰고, 'didn't buy some chocolate candies'는 'didn't buy chocolate'로 간결히 표현하세요. 연결어로 흐름을 유지하세요.

例: No, I didn't. My parents were concerned about my dental health when I was young, so they rarely bought chocolate for me. Instead, I ate a lot of fruits.

提案: 의미 전달은 되지만 문장이 어색하고 단어 선택·문장 구조가 부정확합니다. 'It is because that' 대신 'I think it's because'를 사용하고 이유를 연결해 더 구체적으로 설명하세요. 'Comfortably'는 문맥에 맞지 않으니 'as gifts' 등으로 교체하세요.

例: I think chocolate is popular worldwide because it tastes sweet and appeals to many people. Also, it's easy to give as a gift, which makes it a convenient and widely accepted present.

提案: 답변이 산만하고 관련 없는 정보('Dubai chocolate')가 포함되어 있습니다. 먼저 좋아하는 맛을 직접 말한 뒤 그 이유를 구체적으로 설명하세요. 감탄사('Oh my God')는 피하고 문장 구조를 정리하세요.

例: My favourite chocolate flavour is pistachio because I like the nutty taste and the crunchy texture it adds. I prefer it to very sweet chocolates because it feels more balanced.

提案: 전달하려는 의견은 좋지만 문법 오류와 어색한 표현이 있습니다. 'someone who has an allergy' 또는 'someone with serious dental problems'처럼 정확한 표현을 사용하세요. 긍정과 예외를 연결할 때 'however' 같은 연결어를 쓰면 더 자연스럽습니다.

例: Yes, I think chocolate makes a great gift because many people enjoy it. However, it may not be suitable for someone with allergies or serious dental problems.

× I think I have a sweet tooth so I usually bring small chocolate like M&M's and horses to boost my energy.

✓ I think I have a sweet tooth, so I usually bring small chocolates like M&M's and Hershey's to boost my energy.

The noun 'chocolate' should be plural ('chocolates') when referring to small individual pieces. 'Horses' is a typo or mishearing; likely meant 'Hershey's' (a brand) or 'horses' is incorrect here. Suggestion: Use plural for countable items (small chocolates). Check brand names for correct spelling and capitalization.

× These days I eat chocolate once a week because nowadays I live alone so I can buy my chocolate by myself, but I'm afraid my tooth held so I sometimes control.

✓ These days I eat chocolate once a week because I live alone, so I can buy chocolate by myself, but I'm afraid of tooth decay, so I sometimes avoid it.

Multiple issues: awkward tense/wording and incorrect phrase 'my tooth held' and 'control'. 'I live alone' is present simple; 'these days' fits present simple. 'Afraid my tooth held' is ungrammatical; likely meant 'afraid of tooth decay' or 'afraid of damaging my teeth'. 'Sometimes control' should be 'sometimes avoid it' or 'control myself'. Suggestion: Use clear expressions for health concerns (afraid of tooth decay) and correct verbs (avoid, control myself).

× No, I didn't. When I was young, my parents worried about my teeth health, so they didn't buy some chocolate candies for me.

✓ No, I didn't. When I was young, my parents worried about my dental health, so they didn't buy chocolate candies for me.

'Teeth health' is not the natural collocation; use 'dental health'. 'Didn't buy some chocolate candies' is awkward — 'some' is unnecessary after a negation; use 'didn't buy chocolate candies'. Suggestion: Use natural collocations (dental health) and avoid 'some' after negative verbs.

× So at the time I ate a lot of fruits.

✓ So at that time I ate a lot of fruit.

'At the time' is awkward here; 'at that time' is better. 'Fruits' as a plural is acceptable but 'a lot of fruit' is more natural in English when referring to quantity in general. Suggestion: Use 'at that time' and 'a lot of fruit' for natural phrasing.

× It is because that is really sweet and simple.

✓ It's because it is really sweet and simple.

The phrase 'It is because that' is ungrammatical. Use 'It's because it is' or better, 'Because it's really sweet and simple.' Suggestion: Use correct connector forms: 'because it is' or start the sentence with 'Because'.

× I mean, people can give chocolate for others.

✓ I mean, people can give chocolate to others.

Incorrect preposition 'for' should be 'to' when indicating the recipient of a gift. Suggestion: Use 'give something to someone.'

× Comfortably.

✓ It is comforting.

A single adverb 'Comfortably.' is fragmentary and doesn't fit. The intended meaning is likely that giving chocolate is comforting or convenient. 'It is comforting' or 'It's convenient' are full sentences. Suggestion: Avoid sentence fragments; use a complete sentence that matches intended meaning.

× Oh my God, my favorite chocolate flavor is pistachio.

✓ Oh my God, my favorite chocolate flavor is pistachio.

This sentence is grammatically fine; no correction needed. (Kept for completeness.) Suggestion: None.

× Recently in Korea many people want to eat Dubai chocolate because it's really sweet and texture is amazing, so I think it's my best flavor.

✓ Recently in Korea many people want to try Dubai chocolate because it's really sweet and the texture is amazing, so I think it's my favorite flavor.

'Want to eat Dubai chocolate' is acceptable but 'want to try' is more natural for a trending product. 'Texture is amazing' needs the article 'the texture'. 'My best flavor' is unnatural; use 'my favorite flavor.' Suggestion: Use 'try' for new foods, include articles before nouns ('the texture'), and use 'favorite' instead of 'best' for flavors.

× Yes, I think chocolate is a really great gift because it's very popular with most people, but I think it is not good for somebody who have the appetite or serious dental problems.

✓ Yes, I think chocolate is a really great gift because it's popular with most people, but I think it is not good for somebody who has appetite issues or serious dental problems.

Subject-verb agreement: 'somebody who have' should be 'somebody who has'. 'The appetite' is odd; better 'appetite issues' or 'a poor appetite' depending on meaning. Also 'popular with most people' is fine. Suggestion: Ensure subject-verb agreement after 'who' and use natural phrases like 'appetite issues'.