Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Сократите и упростите ответ, начинайте с прямого утверждения, затем добавьте одно-два конкретных объяснения. Исправьте грамматику (например, "my headache it's good" неверно). Используйте связки для плавности, например: "because", "so", "which means".

例: Yes, I like chocolate because it is sweet and makes me feel happier. For example, when I have a headache, eating a little chocolate can help me relax, so I feel less tense and less irritable.

提案: Дайте краткий прямой ответ о частоте, затем поясните с конкретным распорядком. Уберите ненужные паузы и повторы. Используйте связующие слова (e.g., "usually", "after school", "so"). Исправьте ошибки времени и местоимений.

例: I usually eat chocolate every day. For example, after school my friend and I often stop by a cafe and buy a chocolate bar or a chocolate drink, so we can eat it together on the way home.

提案: Отвечайте прямо, затем добавьте одно конкретное воспоминание. Исправьте времена (past simple) и порядок слов. Сократите повторения слов типа "every day".

例: Yes, I did. When I was a child my dad used to buy chocolate for me almost every day because I loved the sweet taste. I especially remember enjoying it after school.

提案: Начните с общего утверждения, затем приведите 1–2 конкретных причины и пример. Используйте связки ("because", "for example", "so") и избегайте повторов. Исправьте конструкцию предложения и согласование времен.

例: I think chocolate is popular because it tastes good and can lift people's spirits. For example, giving chocolate as a small gift often makes someone smile, so it is a simple way to show care.

提案: Отвечайте точно на вопрос о вкусе или типе шоколада (e.g., milk, dark, hazelnut). Перечисление брендов можно сократить и произнести корректно. Избегайте неясных слов и лишних звуков. Добавьте краткое объяснение, почему вам нравится этот вкус.

例: My favourite flavour is milk chocolate with hazelnuts, such as in some Kinder varieties, because it is creamy and slightly crunchy. I like it because it is not too bitter and feels comforting.

提案: Начните с прямого ответа, затем поясните одну-две причины с конкретным примером. Исправьте грамматические ошибки и согласование (e.g., "people smile" not "people's are smile"). Используйте связки: "because", "for example", "so".

例: Yes, I think chocolate makes a good gift because it usually makes people happy. For example, giving a box of chocolates to a friend can cheer them up and show appreciation, so it is a simple and thoughtful present.

× Yes I do because it's sweet and my mood is good.

✓ Yes, I do because it's sweet and it improves my mood.

Sentence originally used 'my mood is good' which is grammatical but awkward; 'it improves my mood' clearly links chocolate to mood change and matches present simple general fact. Add comma after 'Yes' for clarity.

× When I eat chocolate, my headache it's good and I am not angry.

✓ When I eat chocolate, my headache gets better and I am not angry.

Original 'my headache it's good' incorrectly combines noun and pronoun; use 'gets better' to describe improvement. Use simple present to state habitual effect.

× I eat chocolate every day, uh, when I go to school with my friends, uh, she's by for me after school, go home.

✓ I eat chocolate every day. When I go to school with my friends, someone buys it for me after school on the way home.

Run-on sentence and wrong pronoun 'she's by for me'. Use simple present for habitual actions and 'someone buys it for me' clarifies the subject and verb agreement.

× I, I am buy coffee, chocolate and eat with my friend.

✓ I buy coffee and chocolate and eat them with my friend.

Incorrect continuous form 'I am buy' should be simple present 'I buy' for habitual actions. Also plural consistency: 'eat them with my friend' or 'eat it with my friend' depending on item count.

× Yes I did when I was kid.

✓ Yes, I did when I was a kid.

Missing article 'a' before 'kid' in past reference. Use past simple 'did' appropriately; add comma after 'Yes' for natural speech.

× Every day, every time eat chocolate my dad buying everyday every time because it's very delicious and sweet for me.

✓ Every day when I ate chocolate, my dad bought it for me because it was very delicious and sweet to me.

Original mixes tenses and omits subjects. Use past simple 'ate' and 'bought' for habitual past actions. 'Everyday' (adjective) vs 'every day' (adverb) fixed; 'for me' changed to 'to me' for natural expression.

× Because it improves people's mood.

✓ Because it improves people's moods.

Use plural 'moods' to match 'people's' although 'mood' singular is acceptable; plural is more natural when referring to multiple people.

× For example, when you are buying chocolate for your mom, she is smiling and improves mood.

✓ For example, when you buy chocolate for your mom, she smiles and her mood improves.

Use simple present 'buy' for general examples. 'She is smiling' is present continuous but simple present 'she smiles' fits general truth. 'Improves mood' needs a possessive 'her mood'.

× My favorite chocolates are Raffaello, Kinder, bounty, milk, sneakers, tricks you.

✓ My favorite chocolates are Raffaello, Kinder, Bounty, Milk, Snickers and Twix.

Original contains misspelled brand names and inconsistent capitalization. Use correct brand spellings and proper nouns capitalized.

× UH-0 is very sweet and very popular in the world.

✓ They are very sweet and very popular around the world.

Unclear subject 'UH-0' replaced with 'They' referring to chocolates. Use 'around the world' for natural phrasing.

× Yes I do because people's are smile and improves people's mood.

✓ Yes, I do because people smile and their mood improves.

Incorrect possessive 'people's are smile' and wrong verb form 'improves' for plural subject. Use plural noun 'people' with plural verb 'smile' and 'their mood improves'.