Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to use correct vocabulary and grammar to make your answer clearer and more natural. For example, use 'singing' instead of 'seeing' and 'sing songs' instead of 'sing song'. Also, avoid redundancy by combining ideas more smoothly.

例: Yes, I really enjoy singing because it helps me release my energy and express my emotions. Whenever I feel tired or sad, I sing songs to relax and lift my mood.

提案: Focus on giving a clear and complete answer. Use proper sentence structure and avoid incomplete sentences. Also, use linking words to connect ideas logically.

例: Yes, I have learnt how to sing during my compulsory education, which includes primary and secondary school. We had music classes where we practiced singing songs, and I found it quite enjoyable.

提案: Try to express your ideas more clearly and use appropriate vocabulary. Avoid awkward phrases like 'things sound' and 'sing sound'. Also, explain your feelings with more natural expressions.

例: Actually, I don't want to sing for anyone because I feel embarrassed expressing my emotions through singing in front of others.

提案: Use correct grammar and vocabulary to make your answer more natural. Avoid repetition and clarify unclear phrases like 'go to the Kiwi'. Use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.

例: Yes, singing is definitely an excellent way to bring happiness. For example, when I feel tired or stressed, I sing songs at my apartment or sometimes at a karaoke bar, which helps improve my mood.

× Absolutely, because I think seeing is a good way to release my strength and show my emotion.

✓ Absolutely, because I think singing is a good way to release my strength and show my emotion.

The verb 'sing' should be in the '-ing' form 'singing' to function as a gerund (a noun) in this sentence. 'Seeing' is incorrect here as it changes the meaning and does not fit the context.

× I will sing song to relax.

✓ I will sing songs to relax.

The noun 'song' should be plural 'songs' because it refers to multiple instances of singing, which is more natural in this context.

× During the period of compulsory education, which include the primary school and secondary school, at compulsory education we have English, we have music curriculum and during the music curriculum we are sing song and I think the feeling is.

✓ During the period of compulsory education, which includes primary school and secondary school, we have English and music curricula, and during the music curriculum we sing songs and I think the feeling is good.

'Include' should be 'includes' to agree with singular subject 'period'. 'Music curriculum' should be plural 'music curricula' to refer to multiple courses. 'Sing song' should be 'sing songs' to use the plural noun. The sentence was incomplete, so 'and I think the feeling is good' was added for clarity.

× Actually no one because I think through things sound to express my emotion and my feeling to each other is so embarrassed.

✓ Actually no one because I think expressing my emotions and feelings to others through sound is so embarrassing.

The original sentence misuses pronouns and word order. 'Through things sound' is incorrect; it should be 'expressing my emotions and feelings to others through sound'. 'Is so embarrassed' should be 'is so embarrassing' to describe the situation.

× So I never want to sing sound to each other.

✓ So I never want to sing sounds to others.

'Sing sound' is incorrect; it should be 'sing sounds'. 'To each other' is used for reciprocal actions between two people, but here 'to others' is more appropriate.

× Sure, in sing song, definitely a very excellent way to make our happy.

✓ Sure, singing songs is definitely a very excellent way to make us happy.

'In sing song' is incorrect; it should be 'singing songs'. 'Make our happy' should be 'make us happy' to use the correct pronoun.

× For example, As for me, when I feel relaxed and when I feel tired, I definitely sing some at my apartment.

✓ For example, as for me, when I feel relaxed and when I feel tired, I definitely sing sometimes at my apartment.

'Sing some' is incorrect; it should be 'sing sometimes' to indicate frequency. Also, 'As' should not be capitalised after a comma.

× Sometimes I will go to the Kiwi too and sing song and then then my emotion will turn better.

✓ Sometimes I will go to the Kiwi too and sing songs, and then my mood will improve.

'Sing song' should be 'sing songs'. 'My emotion will turn better' is unnatural; 'my mood will improve' is the correct expression. Also, the repeated 'then then' is a typo.