Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is enthusiastic but a bit unclear and contains grammatical errors. Try to make your sentences more natural and concise, and avoid redundancy. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly. For example, start with a clear topic sentence, then add specific reasons with linking words like 'because' or 'so'.

例: Yes, I really enjoy singing because I have always been a fan of music, especially pop and R&B. When I was a child, I used to sing a lot during school events and family gatherings because it helped me feel relaxed and happy.

提案: Your answer lacks clarity and has grammatical mistakes. Try to organize your response with a clear topic sentence and supporting details. Use linking words like 'but' and 'so' correctly. Also, avoid filler words like 'uh'.

例: I have never learned to sing professionally, but I practiced a lot on my own because I wanted to perform well at school events. I used to watch videos and practice singing by myself to improve.

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains some confusing phrases. Try to express your ideas more clearly and avoid repetition. Use linking words to connect your reasons logically. Also, check your sentence structure for accuracy.

例: I would love to sing for my family and friends during gatherings because it brings us closer and creates a joyful atmosphere. Singing also helps me relax and enjoy myself.

提案: Your answer shows good ideas but is a bit repetitive and unclear. Try to express your thoughts more naturally and avoid filler words like 'umm'. Use linking words to connect your ideas and provide specific examples.

例: Yes, I believe singing brings happiness because it allows people to express their emotions and feelings. For example, when I sing, I can share my experiences and connect with others through music.

× I am always the fan of songs and I love to hear lots of songs like pop and R&B.

✓ I am always a fan of songs and I love to hear lots of songs like pop and R&B.

The phrase 'the fan' is incorrect here because 'fan' is a singular countable noun and needs an indefinite article 'a' when used generally. Using 'a fan' correctly indicates that the speaker is one of many fans.

× When I was child I used to sing a lot when I was in class or any event with my friends or family because it just makes me feel relaxed and unwind and.

✓ When I was a child, I used to sing a lot when I was in class or at any event with my friends or family because it just made me feel relaxed and unwind.

The phrase 'was child' is missing the article 'a' before 'child'. Also, 'makes' should be in past tense 'made' to match the past context. Additionally, 'at any event' is more appropriate than 'any event' alone.

× I never learn professionally, but when I was alone and I really wanted to be a good singer, especially during in the events and school program.

✓ I never learned professionally, but when I was alone and I really wanted to be a good singer, especially during events and school programs.

The verb 'learn' should be in past tense 'learned' to match the past context. Also, 'during in the events' is incorrect; 'during events' is correct. 'School program' should be plural 'school programs' to indicate multiple events.

× So I practice a lot when I was alone and, uh, used to watch or practice video on.

✓ So I practiced a lot when I was alone and used to watch or practice videos.

The verb 'practice' should be in past tense 'practiced' to match the past context. Also, 'video' should be plural 'videos' to indicate multiple videos. The phrase 'practice video on' is incomplete and unclear, so it is corrected to 'practice videos'.

× I would love to uh, sing for my family and my friends because we always have a broke up first thinking and uh, for family gathering and I really enjoy listening to music.

✓ I would love to sing for my family and my friends because we always have a breakup first thinking and for family gatherings, and I really enjoy listening to music.

The phrase 'have a broke up first thinking' is incorrect; it should be 'have a breakup first thinking' or better rephrased for clarity. Also, 'family gathering' should be plural 'family gatherings' to indicate multiple events. The preposition 'for' is correctly used before 'family gatherings'.

× So I would love to sing for a sing a song for my family and my friends and also for myself to unwind.

✓ So I would love to sing a song for my family and my friends and also for myself to unwind.

The phrase 'sing for a sing a song' is redundant and incorrect. It should be 'sing a song' to correctly express the action. Removing the extra 'for' and 'a sing' clarifies the sentence.

× Singing is just a way to express your feelings and emotion through a song and writing skill.

✓ Singing is just a way to express your feelings and emotions through a song and writing skills.

The word 'emotion' should be plural 'emotions' to match 'feelings'. Also, 'writing skill' should be plural 'writing skills' to indicate the general ability.

× So I love to listen and song or song is for my experience and my emotion and my feelings to express how I am feeling or you know umm, to express myself to other people.

✓ So I love to listen to songs, and songs are for my experience, my emotions, and my feelings to express how I am feeling, or, you know, to express myself to other people.

The phrase 'listen and song' is incorrect; it should be 'listen to songs'. Also, 'song is for my experience' should be plural 'songs are for my experience'. The pronouns and nouns need to be consistent and plural where appropriate.