Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to avoid filler words like 'umm' and 'uh' to make your answer sound more natural and fluent. Also, organize your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details without repetition. For example, start by stating that you like singing because it has been a part of your life since childhood, then explain why it is important to you.

例: Yes, I really enjoy singing because I have been passionate about it since I was a child. It brings me joy and I can't imagine my life without it. In fact, I hope to pursue a career in singing in the future.

提案: Improve sentence structure and clarity by using correct prepositions and tenses. Also, add linking words to connect ideas smoothly. For example, mention when you started lessons and how you are working to improve.

例: Yes, I have been taking local singing lessons since 2022. I work with a vocal coach and I am doing my best to improve my singing skills.

提案: Clarify your ideas and avoid confusing phrases. Use linking words to connect your thoughts logically. For example, express that you want to sing for people who appreciate your voice and to bring happiness to many.

例: I want to sing for everyone who enjoys my performances and appreciates my voice. Ultimately, I hope my singing can bring beauty and happiness to people's lives.

提案: Try to avoid repetition and improve sentence flow by using linking words. Also, explain your ideas more clearly with specific reasons.

例: Absolutely, I believe singing is one of the most beautiful ways to bring happiness to people. When we sing, we can express our feelings without words, which helps connect with others emotionally.

× I sing from my childhood.

✓ I have been singing since my childhood.

The original sentence uses the simple present tense 'sing' to describe an action that started in the past and continues to the present. The correct tense to express this ongoing action from the past to now is the present perfect continuous ('have been singing').

× I started learning to my work coach since 2022

✓ I started learning from my work coach since 2022

The verb 'learning' is usually followed by the preposition 'from' when indicating the source or teacher. Using 'to' is incorrect in this context.

× I started learning to my work coach since 2022

✓ I have been learning from my work coach since 2022

The phrase 'since 2022' indicates an action that started in the past and continues to the present, so the present perfect continuous tense ('have been learning') is more appropriate than the simple past 'started learning'.

× I want to thank for everyone who will like my performance

✓ I want to thank everyone who will like my performance

The verb 'thank' does not require the preposition 'for' when directly followed by the object. Including 'for' here is incorrect.

× who will love my voice and will think that I can think.

✓ who will love my voice and will think that I can sing.

The phrase 'I can think' is incorrect in this context; it seems the student intended to say 'I can sing'. This is a misuse of pronouns and verbs leading to confusion.

× I want to sing for the whole universe and to make their life more beautiful with my singing.

✓ I want to sing for the whole universe and make their lives more beautiful with my singing.

The phrase 'to make' after 'and' is unnecessary; parallel structure requires 'and make'. Also, 'life' should be plural 'lives' to agree with 'the whole universe' referring to many beings.

× I think singing is the most beautiful one, most beautiful thing that can bring happiness to people.

✓ I think singing is the most beautiful thing that can bring happiness to people.

The phrase 'the most beautiful one, most beautiful thing' is redundant. Using 'the most beautiful thing' alone is sufficient and grammatically correct.

× Because when we sing, we say our words without much conversations with the best way we show our feelings.

✓ When we sing, we express our feelings in the best way without many words or conversations.

The original sentence is awkward and ungrammatical. 'Say our words without much conversations' is incorrect; 'express our feelings' is more appropriate. Also, 'with the best way' is incorrect; 'in the best way' is correct. The sentence structure is improved for clarity and correctness.