Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cevap verirken daha doğal ve akıcı ifadeler kullanmalısınız. Gereksiz tekrar ve dolgu kelimelerden kaçının. Cümlenizi doğrudan soruya yanıt verecek şekilde kurun ve destekleyici detayları açık ve net verin. Örneğin, geçmişteki deneyimlerinizi ve neden şarkı söylemeyi sevdiğinizi daha spesifik anlatabilirsiniz.

例: Yes, I really enjoy singing because it allows me to express my emotions. When I was younger, I often sang pop songs for my family, which made me feel happy and confident.

提案: Cümlenizi daha net ve doğru yapıda kurmalısınız. Gereksiz tekrarları ve dolgu kelimeleri azaltın. Ayrıca, öğrenme deneyiminizi daha açık ve detaylı anlatmak için bağlaçlar kullanarak cümlelerinizi birbirine bağlayın.

例: Yes, when I was in the 6th grade, I had the opportunity to learn singing from our music teacher because I joined the school band. Since then, I have enjoyed singing a lot.

提案: Cevabınızı daha açık ve doğrudan verin. Gereksiz tekrar ve dolgu kelimelerden kaçının. Ayrıca, neden kalabalık bir topluluk için şarkı söylemek istediğinizi açıklayarak cevabınızı zenginleştirin.

例: I enjoy singing for large audiences because it gives me a sense of excitement and allows me to share my passion with many people.

提案: Cümlenizi daha akıcı ve doğru yapıda kurmaya çalışın. Dolgu kelimeleri azaltın ve bağlaçlar kullanarak düşüncelerinizi daha mantıklı bir şekilde ifade edin. Ayrıca, şarkı söylemenin insanlara nasıl mutluluk getirdiğini daha spesifik örneklerle açıklayın.

例: Yes, I believe singing can bring happiness because it acts like therapy. It helps people express their emotions clearly, and personally, singing always makes me feel joyful, which I think also affects others positively.

× Yes, I really like to singing and umm, when I was younger, I'm always performed my family, uh, while I was singing a, a song like doom tech or, or kind of, uh, pop songs.

✓ Yes, I really like singing and umm, when I was younger, I always performed for my family, uh, while I was singing a song like doom tech or, or kind of, uh, pop songs.

The phrase 'like to singing' is incorrect because after 'like' we use either the gerund (verb + -ing) or the infinitive without 'to'. The correct form is 'like singing'. Also, 'I'm always performed' is incorrect; the past tense 'I always performed' fits better here. 'Performed my family' should be 'performed for my family' because 'perform' requires the preposition 'for' when indicating the audience.

× Yes, when I was umm, in the 6th or 7th grade, I have to, uh, I have AI have a opportunity to, uh, learn singing from umm, our uh, music teacher in I'm a, in a school band and I mean choro from that time and.

✓ Yes, when I was umm, in the 6th or 7th grade, I had an opportunity to learn singing from our music teacher. I was in a school band and I have been a chorister since that time.

The sentence mixes present and past tenses incorrectly. 'I have to' should be 'I had to' or better 'I had an opportunity' to match the past time frame. 'I have AI have a opportunity' is a grammatical error and should be 'I had an opportunity'. 'I'm a, in a school band' is unclear and should be 'I was in a school band'. 'I mean choro' is unclear; likely intended 'I have been a chorister' or 'I was a chorister'. Consistent past tense is necessary for clarity.

× Because used to, I was, uh, a member of our school Coral. I really like to sing uh, to a crowded, uh, room, crowded salon to, umm, really many amount of people.

✓ Because I used to be a member of our school choir, I really like to sing to a crowded room, a crowded salon, to many people.

'Because used to' is incorrect; it should be 'Because I used to'. 'School Coral' is likely 'school choir'. 'Sing to a crowded room, crowded salon to, umm, really many amount of people' is awkward; 'sing to a crowded room' or 'to many people' is better. 'Many amount of people' is incorrect; 'many people' is correct because 'amount' is used with uncountable nouns.

× Yes, I'd think so. Umm, I think singing is a kind of a therapy that, uh, people should, uh, use it. Uh, I think it's helps there, helps from express their emotions, uh, really well.

✓ Yes, I think so. Umm, I think singing is a kind of therapy that people should use. I think it helps them express their emotions really well.

'I'd think so' is awkward; 'I think so' is more natural. 'People should use it' is correct but 'use it' is unnecessary after 'therapy'. 'It's helps there' is incorrect; should be 'it helps them'. 'Helps from express' is incorrect; the correct form is 'helps express'. Modal verbs like 'should' are used correctly but the sentence structure needs improvement.

× And for example, I really like the singing and it's gave me happiness and I think it's gave other people.

✓ For example, I really like singing and it has given me happiness and I think it has given other people happiness too.

'It's gave' is incorrect; the correct form is 'it has given' (present perfect) to indicate an experience up to now. 'I really like the singing' should be 'I really like singing' without 'the'. The sentence needs to use present perfect tense to express the effect continuing to the present.